Well, the pregnant one’s anyway. I just wanted to say that I don’t think I can visit you too much these days….while I love the excitement and news of your growing bellies and the news that you are all starting to feel better too……it is just a bit too painful for me to read…..and I also don’t want to be a damper on your joy.
I didn’t think it would hurt. But it does. More than I thought it would.
Today is one month.
My emotions have been a bit squiffy for the last couple of days. Part of it is know doubt hormones as CH thinks, but rest is that I am just sad. Sad and mad. And full of thoughts of what if and what now.
I realize that much of the sadness is due to the holidays coming to a close and the routine of real life swinging back into place. But the reason doesn’t really matter does it.
The one good thing I am getting out of it is the effort to be more patient and to be focusing on what is real and alive around me. To just relax with my kids. To spend the time with them. To enjoy their insanity…instead of getting irritated. So while a part of me would like to be curled up alone with a good book…..the common sense part is seeking healing and joy in my kids and my family when they need me.
Or at least trying to. The pain in my heart is right there and almost overwhelming…….almost
Sounds like you know what you need, keep following your instincts.
Sending (((hugs)))
Suddenly the whole world seems to be pregnant or mothers of infants, huh?
I know I am going to sound like a broken record, but right now is about survival. Do what you can do and not one thing more.
I am sure these people know that you love them and are happy for them, but it is just too new and raw right now.
The time will come when it is easier (Which is bittersweet as well.).
I am proud of you no matter WHAT (Meaning whether you keep it together or go completely to pieces. You need to do what you have to to get through.)
I second what Loralee says. She took all the good words out of my mouth…or fingers, as it may be.
Hang tough. It gets better.
“To enjoy their insantiy…instead of getting irritated”
Point taken. I’m actually going to try this in the coming weeks and see what happens 🙂 Thank you!
I am so sorry for your loss.
I don’t think anyone would think it wrong of you to feel the way you do. Take you time. Take as much as you need. BIG HUGS
(((((((HUGS)))))))
I just found your blog by linking from the Blogher ads and was reading your older posts. I just wanted to tell you I am sorry for your loss. I know that must have been so difficult. It sounds like you have a wonderful, supportive family and that will help to deal with everything. Good luck.
Sweetie, I’ve been keeping you covered with virtual hugs and prayers. I’m so so sorry your baby died. My heart has just been breaking for you. I obsessively check in on you. You do whats best for you, I’m sure no one is hurt by your absense, just hurt for you. Be good to you, okay.
I think that that anyone who doesn’t understand your stand on this should probably not be someone you should have visited in the first place.
Here’s to a new year full of personal growth and healing for you and yours, my friend!
My sympathy goes out to you…
I lost my baby in July. We were due Jan. 14th. I took some time off work to deal with the due date.
Do whatever you need to do in order to get through this. Time off, therapy, writing about it, whatever it is. You have every right to be sad, angry, or whatever else you are feeling. What happened to you just isn’t fair.