I was thinking about budgets and cost of living after a twitter conversation with unambig (who rocks by the way) that had stemmed from a snarky convo with angryinYVR who has yet to convince me he is angry about anything except people who don’t agree with him.
Anyway…AYVR thinks we should be all thankful for cheap products and big box stores, whereas I feel that they are at least a symptom if not the reason the worlds economy is in such atrocious shape. We also shouldn’t complain about money and just work harder.
My conversation with unambig then drifted towards the cost of childcare vs being able to stay at home. Our neighbourhood is still waiting to hear if there will be afterschool care come this September. Let alone whether the annex will be shut down or not. So much uncertainty and confusion makes life very stressful for the working parent these days.
And work you have to.
In all honesty, we can’t really afford to have me at home with the kids. If we didn’t’ have Tara, I would be looking for part time work right now as the two others will at least both be in school full time. But I honestly don’t think I could find work that would cover the cost of daycare for Tara and after school care for the older two.
My husband believes, like many other cultures that the only way people can survive this economy is to pull family resources together. Multi generations living in large houses and sharing the burden of care and feeding the masses. I do agree with him…to a certain extent.
I don’t believe that grandparents = free childcare. Not full time.
People don’t become grandparents to work for their kids. That is my belief anyway. WE had the kids…not them. Not this time around.
I think that any HELP from grandparents is great..but not to be taken for granted.
I don’t think you can assume on childcare from grandparents unless you can afford to compensate them in some way…either payment or housing like we do see with many cultures.
My mom is retired but has worked part time on and off ever since just to keep her income up. She helps me when she can.
When Adam turned one, I worked part time for a bit and she used to do the morning shift with Adam until Patrick was done his work and could take over. It was a great help.
She also babysits when she can and helps me keep the kids busy and accompanies me on many day trips and so on. She does find managing three a bit much though.
I think more and more boomer generation GP’s will also be working long past 65 to keep up their incomes….leaving no space or time OR affordability to look after grandkids except for the odd babysitting job.
So what are the alternatives? It has been made very clear that Government run daycare will not be happening anywhere except Quebec for a very long time.
The Conservative Government’s $100 per kid supplement is a joke. Especially when it ends at age 6. This is apparently because childcare is WAAAY easier to find after age six.
The cost of living and housing creeps higher and higher and wages do not.
The wait lists on daycare centres..either home based on businesses…get longer and longer..as do the costs.
What are we supposed to do with our kids?
I would love to hear some views on these issues…
I would love to hear what people think is the role of a Grandparent (if you have the luxury to have some and some nearby!)?
Is Government run childcare the solution?
Should school boards and Parks boards have better budgets built in JUST for childcare? Is that their role?
When I see the lengths working parents are going to to make sure their kids are cared for. One neighbour had her kindergartener in summer school because that meant that her grandparents had to only watch her for part days and not full days. A kindergartner.
The day camps at the rec centre are all populated by children of working parents.
Should our children be in summer school just because it provides good babysitting?
Interestingly enough, I received an email about the new site ‘The Shorty List.’
“The Shorty List aims to collect comments and reviews about daycares and schools. Families whose children already attend certain facilities can write in –anonymously, if they wish– about their experiences at the school or daycare. An observation on how a school excels or a scoop on the challenges a daycare faces – this is honest nuanced information that is incredibly valuable to parents making important choices for their children.
The Shorty List is actively seeking reviews now for the final launch of the site mid-fall. The Shorty List will be posting up-to-date government statistics including school test scores, demographics, satisfaction survey results, and daycare sizes. But, as mentioned, it’s not just about the numbers. The most important emphasis will be on the stories, feelings, and perceptions – the words that complete the picture sketched out by test results and percentages.”
I am glad to see people taking steps to help all of us……I hope everyone can take time to help fill the site with helpful information for all the families in Vancouver.
And then I would love to know down the road if they have found it useful.
Michelle Kelsey says
This is a great topic. I have a couple suggestions that you many not have thought about for getting the childcare you need.
Nummies – A nummy is a mummy who is also a nanny. You would allow the nummy to bring her child with her to work. In exchange the nummy charges a lower rate since she is also looking after her child for the day.
Nanny Share – A more popular form of childcare. You and a friend get together and share the cost of the nanny. There are many ways to set this up from splitting the days to the nanny having both children at the same time. Keep in mind if the nanny has all the children at the same time she will need to be paid a higher rate.
Summer time teenager – In the summer there are lots of teenagers out of school and looking for experience. My 14 year old has her babysitting certificate, CPR/First aid and two half sister (3 and 5) who she has been helping to care for since they were born. She is more than capable of watching two kids everyday. In fact she has been working 3 days a week doing just that. (And she is cheap) She is looking to gain experience outside her family and in exchange she charges a low hourly rate. She does not have all the bills of an adult. (Thanks to me)
In the end you have to do what is right for your family. If the grandparents are willing to watch them full time then great (mine were not willing) but if you need to work out an alternative then get creative.
Carrie says
I am INCREDIBLY lucky to have my mother-in-law living so close and willing to help with childcare. When V was a year and I went back to work she watched her full time. When A was a year and I had to go back to work she watched both girls full time. She charged us a LAUGHABLE amount. Basically the cost of a tank of gas a week. For 2 kids!
Currently my husband is not working so he is home full time but when he does find a job she will step in again. She is getting older and I know it won’t last but I am so thankful for her while it does.
When I do need to find daycare…well, I shudder at the thought.
NaomiJesson says
I didn’t have children for anybody else to raise them other than my Man or myself. I don’t really want to miss anything, even though I do. I agree with having parents as help. I also don’t want to burden my Mom nor do I think it is right to guilt her into feeling that she should watch her grandchildren. I only want her to ENJOY them.
I did a swap with my friend and I watched her 3 children 2 days a week while she watched my 2, 3 days a week. It worked out well until her work wanted her to change days. Also, she had tried this with another Mom and ran into so many issues of the other Mom not being respectful that it cost the friendship.
I have also shared a Nanny but at $13. an hour is was really expensive when I needed one for 3 full days.
Financially, it would help out immensely if she could but I find that a few days with the lil’monkees and she is exhausted. I know because I am exhausted and I am 30 years younger. Luckily I have the luxury of having a job that I can work part-time but I still joke that I am only working for my awesome benefits & my pension. Right now, childcare is taking pretty much most of it. Eventually, that will not be the case when I only have to pay for before & after school care when they are both in full days. I do not think that I would want to work full time ever.
You think that they would be encouraging to a Mom to work part-time. NO. It was impossible to find part-time care in my area & find reasonably priced care as well. Some places would only take you if they had an offsetting part-time child on the other days, others would end up with me paying as much as if I had them in full-time. GAH! I understand it is a business but it has left me searching for childcare when I was pretty much preggers with my 2nd. If I didn’t love what I do then I would really question WHY-oh yeah pension & benefits as my Man does not have either of these being a business owner.
OH yeah and that $100. a month is TAXABLE! I didn’t figure that out until it was tax time and I had a form from the government stating my *cough* earnings. That was definitely learning the lesson the hard way!
Sandi says
We are extremely lucky to have my parents provide childcare for my duo. We pay them, nothing close to what we’d have to pay for daycare but enough to make me feel better about it. I don’t want to take advantage because as you said, I decided to have these kids them. We have ongoing open conversations about how to make this work for everyone involved. Having my parents help us this way has been a godsend! Paying for two infants to be in daycare would’ve taken almost my whole salary. I feel thankful every day that this arrangement works for us. I know that we definitely would not be able to live in this city if we had to pay for our house and childcare.
Amber says
Both sets of grandparents live about 45 minutes away, and up until recently they all still worked. And the ones who are retired are kind of enjoying their freedom and they do a lot of traveling. So while we see them often, grandparent care, or family care of any kind, is not an option for us.
I have been through the childcare mill, and I think there has to be a better way to do it. At this point, I think that some kind of standardized government childcare just may be the only option. I would be willing to pay for it. But having it widely available is crucial. Our kids deserve better than this scrambling and being forced to ‘make do’, which is a reality that even the most organized parent can face when life happens and there’s no space available.
ali says
http://www.mrsfussypants.com
Mama in the City says
We don’t have day care or a nanny our young boy and balance his care between two full time working parents…and it is tough. I really wish that the hospital I worked at would offer day care in the building. I could bring my boy with me, check on him during my break and have his dad pick him up later on. Right now we balance his care only because I work shift work and my partner works from home. Considering how many parents work at a hospital, as many RN’s are in fact mothers, I think an on sight day care would be a really great solution. Too bad it will never be something I will see during my time as a mum to young children.
Karen Y Chester says
Thanks for the Shorty List shout-out. And everyone’s right, the daycare situation is problematic. Daycare is expensive but at the same time, I don’t feel that caregivers should be paid any less than they are. After all, they are doing the very important job of taking care of our children. What other solutions are there besides subsidized government childcare?
Re: grandparents as daycare. That depends on so many factors. All I know is that, personally, the amount of work my children create combined with the increasing age of my parents, would create a situation unfair to all parties. The kids wouldn’t get enough physical stimulation and my parents would probably eventually collapse from exhaustion. But who knows? It’s different for all families.
Tanya says
Grandparent care is ok if they are active, capable and happy to do it. I have the same issues with childcare. I’m a working mom who also has to work. It’s really hard to find good help and even the good home daycares will take your kids shopping with them and pickup and drop off their own kids at school etc. I think if you are paying for care it should be all about the kids. There should be crafts, outdoor time, quiet time and structure. I took my child out of a home daycare and put them in the YMCA daycare twice a week – to the tune of $42 a day. There were kids in there that were government subsidized and getting free care but I don’t qualify for subsidized daycare because I make too much money, not fair! It is a great facility though, 2 balanced meals a day plus snacks, teeth brushing after lunch, swim lessons once a week on site, qualified instructors and logs that tell you what the child did that day, how much they ate and slept – it’s wonderful and expensive and I have peace of mind sending her there. Another solution I heard of was a group of mom’s that each worked 4 days a week. Each of them would watch eachother’s kids one day a week at one of their homes that was central for everyone. It seemed to work great for them but I guess the challenge would be finding a full-time job where you could work flex time. Ah to live in Quebec where everyone pays $7 a day for daycare. I’m sure there are employers that offer daycare on site or at discounted prices for their employers but you can be sure it’s only new and rich companies like Google and Microsoft.