As some of you may know I am married to who used to be (no insult meant to him at all) one of the top movie web site webmasters out there.   Corona’s Coming Attractions was there before even the word ‘blog’ existed.   To say that the online media world for film has changed since that site started would be a serious understatement.

While my husband has been seeing the changes for a long time and their effects on movie news reporting, I think this really hit when I saw the link to Today’s Parent magazine’s review of Star Trek: Into Darkness today.  While I am glad to see that the non movie nerd world is recognizing the variety of film genres out there that appeal to child and adult alike and while yes, the movie is only rated PG (parental guidance), I am still a bit boggled to see this review at all in a parenting magazine.

Iron Man is the perfect example of the now mainstreaming of what used to be ‘those movies’ for those people.    Sci fi, action and fantasy movies have always made big dollars at the box office, but the core fans were always those em NOT reading Today’s Parent.  Until we all had kids that is…..and that is a HUGE part of it is it not?  All the comic nerds and geeks are having families of their own and are happily sharing their love of the genre with their children.

With Disney being the corporation over Marvel Film, super heroes are no long for the comic geeks.   Now we can see Iron Man’s costumes at Disneyland, and MOM bloggers get red carpet premier invites.  With barely a movie webmaster to be seen.   I saw more buzz from the mom blogger communty for Iron Man than the comic and movie sites combined. My husband does get tickets for pre-screenings of films in town but I have noticed that more and more it is bloggers and those ever present MOM bloggers who are getting the invites to the screenings probably with a lot more ease than the core movie webmasters are nowadays.   Bizarrely I am not on the mom blogger radar for film promotion apart from kids stuff which is weird when you know me.

My biggest concern is for those not familiar with sci fi, comics,  and so on, is that there seems to be an assumption that these films are fine for kids and the shock when they are not.    Hence why I boggle at reviews like the Today’s Parent one with its emphasis on the violence in Star Trek.   The judgemental person inside me wants to ask what sort of rock are you hiding under that you would not KNOW there would be violence in an action/sci fi film.   Or that indeed that it is for kids.

Is that harsh of me?

It is strange. I have grown up loving sci fi and fantasy.  I love the genres and love my comics and the too many books we have stuffed in our house  My husband and I met because we both loved the same movies.  We attended comic conventions like the massive San Diego Comic Con before it was the movie con for non geeks to see the stars live that it is now.  That WAS something different, but now…..now it is just part of the mainstream world of entertainment.    I don’t quite know how I feel about ‘fitting in’ so well now to the norm.  :)

The Mom Influence now knows no boundaries.   We are legion.

A few weeks ago, Caity reported that a boy in another class was hassling her a lot at lunch and recess.   It wasn’t anything hugely terrible, but enough that when she got frustrated by it, she told me and asked for help.

So help I did.  Aaaand I did the the ‘grown up’ way.  I did not lie in wait for said boy and then scare the shit out of him and warn him to stay away from my daughter.  I went to the teacher.  This was more complicated since the boy is in another class, but I know and like the teacher, so near the end of the school day, I popped by and told said teacher about the issue. The teacher paused and then said that she would have to figure out the ‘correct procedure for this.’   Ummmm tell the kid not to do it???

Ooookay.

Apparently she figured out what was ‘correct’ and had the boy apologize for bothering Caity.  Caity seemed satisfied with that and that was it.

Until Friday, when a boy in her class passed her a note ‘allegedly’ from this boy which stated that he would ‘kill her.’

I was not impressed.

So today I arrived early for the school pick up and popped into see the principal.  He did not know about this note but mentioned that he was already planning on having words with this said boy about some other ‘issues’ and would add this to the list.

When I went to get Caity she told me that when her own teacher brought the note to the boys teacher and  that THAT teacher said that there was NO ways that this boy had written this note since he had already apologized.

????

Oookay.

Regardless if this boy sent the note or not (and of course he did), SOMEONE did and I don’t think notes like should be taken lightly.   It doesn’t matter if there is no intent behind the note, it is language that in this day and age, we should be heavily discouraging this sort of language when it comes to kids.

I would also like to smack the passer of the note up the side of the head since this boy professes to be Caity’s friend.   Children really don’t think beyond their next toy or candy and not whether their action would hurt someone or not.

Honestly?  I don’t think this boy means any harm to Caity, in fact I have a feeling he probably means the opposite.   We have a lot of  troubled kids at our school and sadly most of them are boys.  I think he is probably one of ‘them as that teacher is our one resident ‘expert’ in dealing with kids who are more square peg than round.   Again however, the aggression and language can’t be tolerated.

In this age of bullying and rape (and bombings) we need to teach kids the right way to communicate and nip this type of behaviour in the bud.   I have shared my thoughts before on the fact that all the antibullying campaigns are not working.  Big ra ra Pink Day’s and so on don’t work when the kids don’t connect what the adults are telling them to what they are experiencing in the real world.    It doesn’t help when the adults in their world don’t really know HOW to respond.

I don’t think the way I want to respond is the most politically correct, so I will bite my tongue and wait until I hear from the principal or teacher about what they are doing.

For a school that swears ‘zero tolerance’ for violence and bullying, I hope it is enough to teach this boy and others a better way to communicate with the ‘fairer’ race.

Spring break is kicking my butt when it comes to work related projects.  However, in all honesty,  I don’t feel all that bad about it, despite the income worry.   Rather, focusing on my kids and talking to them and LISTENING to them feels more important right now.    The reality is, there isn’t much else I can do.   Who can write anything coherent with three loud kids banging about around them, demanding your attention every five minutes?   Limited incomes means no day camps or childcare for us.  Just me and them, working on our spring break ideas together.

Again, I am okay with this.

I have told them that I will murder them if anyone dares say ‘I’m bored.’  We have lots of projects that need to be tackled, so nothing to do is not an option.  I have also explained that I am not an entertainment coordinator for them and they can and should think about what they can do for themselves too.   Adam has to build a ‘Rube Goldberg’ machine for a class project.  This is is harder than it should be and I feel that only those with a penchant for engineering can truly succeed at this.  So far we have a vague plan of what we wan the machine to do and a pile of stuff we think could help make it do it.  It is giving me a headache.

The ‘what to do during Spring Break’ lists have irritated me.  The Vancouver Sun one was filled with ridiculously high priced attractions.    I was becoming more and more depressed pre-break and martyred at being obviously one of the ‘have not’ families in this over priced town.   However, this depression has turned into a steely anger and resolve to find more affordable activities for larger families and lower income families.    Swimming and ice skating at the local pools and rinks, are two affordable things that the kids all love.    If the weather dries up we are going to hit some of the local nature parks that we have not been to yet.  We are also stocked up for Easter crafts for days like today.

I get really really frustrated that we don’t have the money for vacations, and extra curricular activities, my kids lives seem sadly different from many of their peers.   We want to give them everything.  I want their world to be amazing and fun and exciting and I feel so defeated when I can’t make it so for them.  However, it makes me also resolve to work harder to change things and make things better for them.

My kids drive me nuts, but I love them so much……my promise to them for Spring Break is to not totally lose my shit at them