Some times there is just too much stuff going on. Sometimes I have to learn to say no and to learn that magical concept of time management. I need to talk to all the clever life and business coaches and get help creating a life and editorial schedule. I feel terrible when I forget emails and commitments to people.
This blog needs to be more interesting, and I do have ideas, however, apart from the cool stuff happening with Women in Biz Network, the family stuff has been a tad chaotic and a bit depressing, and I have been loathe to discuss it more publicly.
I am finding parenting school age kids to be a bit of a trial. If one isn’t angry and fighting the other is. It is like tag team misery. We seem to be only allowed a few hours of peace at a time.
My elder son and daughter cannot take no as an answer in any shape or form. Their answer is to wear us down by argument. Every discussion feels like it takes place across a boardroom with an army of legal advisor’s. Nothing is simple. Adam wears us down by counter argument. Caitlyn fights by high pitched screaming….much like Black Canary if any of you know your super heroes. What boggles me is that they think this works to their advantage when the usual result is myself, husband or both of us completely losing our shit and things going from stupid to insane.
Nobody comes out of these episodes well.
Case in point Thursday morning. The morning started out with my son telling me that he couldn’t go to school because he hadn’t done his homework. Homework he had been given on Tuesday that he only hinted at and refused to show me or go into detail about. Instead of babying him and getting his work set up for him, I thought..fine….let’s see where this goes. Well it went straight to hell. Lippy talk and us not being able to take the high road. It was not pretty. Husband was late for work, the kids were late for school, everyone was upset.
My only thought was to quit everything. That blogging and my career ‘aspirations’ were just getting in the way of my parenting, which was obviously sucking to have created such angry and rude children. I was going to phone poor Leigh of the Women in Biz Network and not show up for the event that night. I was going to delete my blog and walk away if that was what it took.
It was that bad. It is still bad. We are so fed up with the ‘IT’S SO UNFAIR’ crap. We hate ourselves for raising ungrateful and spoiled brats.
I have said it before and will stick by it….this is not a parenting blog…this is a how NOT to parent blog. I love my kids and I love their minds and their creativity….but the negative end of the spectrum of the things we have taught and encouraged is making life really really suck.
Later Thursday morning when my mom walked into the house with a white face and asked me to come outside stating that she ‘had done something really stupid,’ I could only imagine. I envisioned bodies in the trunk of the car when she had me walk around her parked car. There was a dent in her bumper. There was no blood on it. Phew…but she had had a fender bender in the Extra Foods Parking Lot – a ring of hell – and was really shaken up.
The day however was going from bad to getting stupid.
After a tearful ‘I can’t do this without help’ cry to my mom about it all, I staggered away to meet Leigh and pretend to be all competent about business.
Our event was fantastic. But it really does take ‘help’ to do anything. I couldn’t have done the day without mom and my husband helping out. Leigh had her amazing sister step up to the plate again. As Nicole of Entrepreneur Mom Now Vancouver said, Networking is about helping and friendship. It certainly is.
Settling down to listen to Danielle LaPorte speak that evening was perfect though. It isn’t even what she says, but how she says it. She has an electrifying voice. She speaks with forceful quiet. You sit up and you listen…not just with your ears and brain but with your whole body. She makes you pay attention. I could feel all the tension flowing from my neck and shoulders the more she tackled our fears and woes about being entrepreneurs.
Danielle and all the women attending our event made it all worthwhile.
I won’t sacrifice my kids for my dreams…but it is all about balance and doing what feels right even when it makes others uncomfortable. Change is tough. Evolution is difficult…..my family has to adjust to it. I can only work at making it easier for them….but not at the cost of my own soul.