When you think nobody else understands how you feel, the world of the internet and blogger opens your eyes to a myriad of people who have walked in your shoes.
Hence why mothers and fathers have loved the community that blogging has built for them. People on the internet share what they have experienced, gone through, suffered, enjoyed and so on….there is someone out there that understands you and that alone can help a person who is in need of nodding heads and warm calm thoughts.
That is the good side of blogging.
There is a negative side too, but I am here to focus on the power of good that blogging can do.
Hence I was very interested when I was asked to spread the word and share stories for the people behind ‘The Period of Purple Crying.”
Purple crying describes the crying that you can’t seem to stop in a new born. The crying that can send people completely over the edge…’shaken baby syndrome,’ in worst cases. For the rest of us it means the unfun part of being a new parent that people tend to skim over.
The letters in the word PURPLE describe the properties of normal infant crying that are frustrating:
P for Peak of Crying — Crying peaks at around 2 months, then decreases at around 3 to 5 months;
U for Unexpected — Crying comes and goes unexpectedly, for no apparent reason;
R for Resists Soothing — Crying continues despite all soothing efforts by caregivers;
P for Pain-like Face — Infants look like they are in pain, even when they are not;
L for Long Lasting — Crying can last as much as 5 hours a day, or more;
E for Evening — Crying occurs more in the late afternoon and evening.
Tara did this. We had the DVD. I didn’t think we needed the DVD and had tossed it under the tv. After all…THIS was our THIRD CHILD. WE knew what to expect….ha ha ha ha.
When the crying started up and we were walking and pacing and shoo shooing I just gritted my teeth. What I didn’t realize was that the crying was really affecting Patrick. It was almost personal this time. ANOTHER baby that had issues with sleep and settling? What on earth were we doing wrong!??
He watched the DVD. He then came and told me to watch it. It helped him knowing that it wasn’t us. That there wasn’t something wrong with our parenting OR with Tara and this was just something babies did AND stopped doing too.
Knowing there was an end made all the difference for him. He was then able to help me struggle through this painful time of no rest no peace…etc. And I knew I could cry and let go and have people who understood not only take care of the baby but take care of me.
I have spoken before about how the first few months of Adam’s life is really a dark blur. That I was really suffering from PPD and just getting by.
And that on top of the shock of being a new parent. Because lets get real here….you can read all the books. You can talk to all ready parents and you can plan all you like…but you don’t know.
NOT how hard it can be…you don’t know YOU. You don’t know how YOU will deal. You don’t know how you and your partner will deal.
Shock, health issues, fear, lack of sleep all play silly buggers with your mind and your ability to even cope with the smallest things.
Add to that the extended family, friends, work, money…..well again…for some it is no problem. Easy transition and easy babies…..everyone is different.
And that is where the silence comes in.
EVERYONE is afraid of looking bad. Being judged as a lousy parent. What do you mean you can’t hack it? What do you mean you can’t breast feed? What do you mean you aren’t happy and glowing?
So some of us fake it. Some of us grit teeth and suffer.
The Purple Program wants that to change.
The Purple Program is doing a knitting project for November 15th to help prevent Shaken Baby Syndrome. All the knitters out there can work on little baby hats in PURPLE to be given out on Canada’ National Child Day.
PURPLE caps must be received no later than by November 5, 2010.
If you have any questions, please contact Melissa Pelto: melissa@limelitepr.com or call 778.786.1495
Please knit and mail your PURPLE caps to
BC Children’s Hospital:
c/o Claire Yambao
Provincial Program Coordinator, Prevent SBS BC
BC Children’s Hospital
4480 Oak Street, K1-209
Vancouver, BC V6H 3V4
It is all about breaking the silence. It is all about support and understanding. It is all about letting new parents know that it can be hard and we are all there to help. It is all about making parenting part of a community again.
Amber Strocel wants to do that…..Amber feels a book inside her and she wants it to be something that can be helpful to all future parents to be. She wants us all to share our stories. She wants us who have been there to share the good the bad and the ugly. The medical, the technical, the fun and the horrors of being a parent.
If you can and would like to help …please share YOUR journey with Amber.
Amber says
Thank you so much for the shout-out! I am really, really touched. 🙂
And I can so relate to what you’re saying about the shock of new parenthood, and the crying. My daughter Hannah cried ALL THE TIME. It was awful. And a lot of the questions I got shifted the blame back to me. What was I doing or not doing wrong? As if becoming a new parent isn’t hard enough. That’s why I love this campaign – we all need to know that we are not alone. And it is NOT our fault.
Jeanette says
Thanks so much for helping spread the word about this program! We’ve already received a few baby caps but definitely need more if we are to give them out to every new mom/baby in November. Your support is much appreciated.
Harriet Glynn says
Such a sweet photo of Tara. Oddly (or perhaps maybe not oddly), I’m having a really hard time right now with my son’s crying. The combo of lack of sleep and his teething and our travelling has made us all ridiculously unhappy.