Time Enough?

When summer vacation was creeping up on us, mom and I chatted about any trips we could or wanted to do with the kids.

First on our agenda was to see my Grandfather.  He moved to Sidney on the Island and so I really don’t see him and barely speak to him via phone much either.   My bad.   Anyway, being that his birthday fell close to the end of school, we made it our first priority to take the kids over to see him.

This was important as his IS 95 and he hadn’t yet even met Tara.

I am glad we did the trip.

Second on our agenda was another Island trip but this time to see my mom’s mom’s cousin.   She was up in Comox.  I had met her years ago and my mom has visited more often and kept in touch.  I did the Christmas Card thing and that was really about it.

More recently what has been wonderful was her effort every Christmas to send a small package for the kids.  Kids she had never met.  She had also made the effort of knitting beautiful blankets for the kids. Tara has one on her bed and Caity’s own special ‘lovey’ was made my Isobel.

So indeed, we thought a trip up to Comox with the kids was indeed doable.

Then we got a simply awful email.  It was from her daughter.

Isobel had passed away.

She had been in Ottawa to watch her granddaughter give the valedictorian speech at her graduation. During her visit she fell and hit her head.   The next day she suffered a massive stroke.   She died on July 10th.

The kids never got to meet her.   We left it too late.

Caitlyn was so sad about it all.  It really affected her.  This was the woman who made her lovey.   Her ‘dee dee’ blanket.   She sunk into a total funk about death and her Nana.   To the point of hysteria.

Unlike her brother, Caity has been too young to really ‘feel’ the deaths that have affected this family.  She doesn’t really remember her ‘poppa,’  and while she does have memories of her nana (Patricks mom), she was too young to be fully impacted by her death.

She cries about the baby we lost…that impacted the children TOO much and his name comes up all the time and they tell EVERYONE one they meet that they ALMOST had a little brother.

Death is too close to this family.

The death of a distant relative who was kind therefore affected me greatly.

We hurriedly planned the ‘hows’ to attend her ‘Celebration.’  And then Tara got sick.   And that was the end of that.

While other distant relatives around the world have passed away and I have noted their loss….I really feel that I have let ‘something’ down by not being able to be there.

I suppose that this post is my way to assuage that feeling.  I feel cheated that we didn’t get to see her. I feel like I let her down.

Even though we weren’t close family.  And even though there was absolutely NOTHING I could have done.

I suppose the message about making sure you say all the things you want to say to your loved one’s NOW is key to my thoughts about Isobel and death.

I suppose making sure in your heart that those that are important to you KNOW they are important to you is part of my thoughts about Isobel and death.

I really don’t like how regret and whatifs are spectors of adult life.