It is Friday the 13th today and I have managed to survive so far – touch wood – fairly unscathed, apart from my shortening temper with my kids..but really, that is par for the course.
Work stuff was accomplished…just.
Errands have been run AND I am going to attempt to get out to a movie tonight! Whoot.
Screw the massive piles of laundry that need to be put away and the dishes to be done and children to be fed.
The biggest thing that has sort of ruined the day for us is (again) my son’s report card.
Now..we know he can be er…difficult. We know he is high energy and high emotion. A lot to contain during a school day.
But….we judge his progress by what we see.
WE are impressed by how well his reading is improved.
WE are impressed by how his spelling is coming along. He, however is not, because SHE does a sticker system where only those who get TEN OUT OF TEN get a sticker on a wall chart.
So even when he gets 8 or 9 out of 10, he feels he has failed because there is no sticker there on the wall.
Jesus. This is Grade One people. GRADE FREAKING ONE.
Is it just us, or is that sort of thing a tad crushing of one’s ability to have any pride in YOURSELF and your own accomplishments???
When you are 6.
SIX.
Now both of us parents here feel report cards in general are a bit of a waste. The whole school machine is a tad overrated in our minds -based on our own experiences – and so while we encourage our kids to learn and enjoy learning, we try to not put a lot of weight behind it all either.
However, when you have sticker sheets on wall to REWARD kids and basically set them up against each other….we have concerns about how that affects him in his standing with the class.
Another thing…..I have raved about this too. In Kindergarten and still now, she has a system where we have to write down every book we read TO our child on a sheet that gets handed in to her when complete. Each sheet merits a sticker on another ‘competitive’ chart.
In Kindergarten, I was okay with this..we were doing reading anyway.
But now..with the home reading the kids are required to do each night AND the spelling tests the kids have to practice each week, I frankly am not ‘on it’ to be filling out MORE forms every single day.
With each book the kids read themselves, the parents have to fill out form and initital it.
That is enough.
I think the teacher hates my ‘refusal’ to comply.
There are only so many hours in the day..and especially in the evenings. I finished school… I don’t do homework. I am happy to help my son with HIS homework, but don’t be marking ME on my shortcomings and certainly do NOT allow it to affect my son and his image with his fellow classmates.
I also think she hates that I have ALREADY complained to her and the principal about the sticker system being inappropriate.
I think the fact that we are not robot parents following robot rules at robot schools for our robot kids is a HUGE sticking point with her.
I feel bad though…I feel that because WE are different, that our child is suffering.
I now see what leads many many parents to homeschooling.
So, just because, we shall be arranging a meeting with her after the spring break.
That will be interesting.
What is killing me is that she IS the Kindergarten teacher…there is no other. So Caity gets to deal with her in September.
I don’t want to deal with her for another year. I will go mad.
I do think Caity will thrive better under her robot ways, but…..she is ‘our’ daughter….the annoying parents who don’t conform. That is a lot for a little girl to drag around school.
My only other choices is to fight to get her into the annex and drive my kids to two different schools everyday. Find a private school for both that we could REMOTELY afford, homeschool them both….
Or, if our finances drastically improve before September….move far far away.
Robots are mean.
Loralee says
It is amazing how much paperwork and ‘homework’ parents have in schools. It is so different from when I was a kid.
Really, though? It is pretty much the same wherever you send your kids unless it is a non-mainstream school.
I hear you on the report card struggle. My youngest is 9 and the there is not one term where someone one is not struggling in something.
We have had our kids in a very fast paced, accelerated charter school. While I think that the structure has been good, it is a relief to put them in the local school next year to give them and us some breathing room next fall.
I have mixed feelings on reward and competition.
I do NOT agree with the “everyone is a winner. everyone is special and the same” attitude.
Kids NEED to learn to compete. No one will care that they are winners when they hit college and beyond. Competition is healthy.
At Kindgergarten and grade one and the way this teacher is doing it? Not so much. Here is why: It sets up impossible demands for some kids and can be highly detrimental.
My son’s teacher is highly demanding and she does have a 100% homework wall. Sometimes Christopher gets on it, but more often than not he doesn’t. HOWEVER, she has other systems of reward to gauge and to reward his progress so that he feels like he is accomplishing something.
AND HE IS IN THE FOURTH GRADE.
That is just a bit too much too early. If your son’s teacher had the kid’s best interest at heart she would have two walls: One for perfect achievement if that is what turns her on and one that charts improvement (without listing grades, ect. just who has improved the most).
Wow. This was long, but I really related so…ya know.
Loralees last blog post..The tiniest thing can make all the difference.
Loralee says
P.S. One more thing I completely agree with. NOTHING makes me madder than when kids are docked, punished or fail for things their parents do.
Should my kid lose a grade because I forgot to put my signature on a freaking reading log? (Grrr!)
Loralees last blog post..The tiniest thing can make all the difference.
Meg says
I can truly sympathize. My 10yo is gifted and LD (yep, *extra* special). Half the teachers he’s had don’t know what to do with him and with those we attempt to minimize the damage. Half the teachers have been amazing (including the one he has now, who truly gets him) and we try to learn from those. I’ve also developed a very thick skin and try stay focused on what my son needs, not what the teacher needs. Good luck – while the years with lousy teachers seem to last twice as long as the years with good teachers, there will be good teachers.
Shannon says
I agree that the sticker chart is unfair. Especially at that age. They should be just getting excited about making progress, no matter what that is. Like if they do better than they did the last time or something. But they shouldn’t feel so much pressure to be perfect. It’s about self-improvement and development, not perfection. Because let’s be honest, some people will never be good at spelling. Even as adults. It shouldn’t be an eternal source of shame!
patois says
Sorry to be so behind in reading/commenting. I hope I don’t get docked for it. I’m all for a sticker chart for good performance. I do not believe “perfect” is the only one to publically reward, though. That’s why my now-12-year-old son thinks he’s a loser if he doesn’t get 100%. And that’s definitely not what I taught him. I taught him to do his damn best and, whatever his best was, that was enough for me. All three kids know that. But I can’t counter that “perfect” chart. Rage against that machine, woman! The world doesn’t need more kids who see themselves as losers when they get an A-.
patoiss last blog post..Wordy Wednesday #52: Sir, Yes, Sir!
mo-wo says
Oh don’t get my librarian ass goin’ on the topic of these reading programs… Or maybe you should.
I’m free for a couple days baby. Call me.
mo-wos last blog post..It isn’t that long a stay