I don’t know even where to begin.
It has gotten super hot again, making sitting at my computer a bit of a chore.
And there was more.
Last week caused US to be very em…testy. The people who are buying my mother in law’s house were being total dinks. TOTAL DINKS.
It was very very frustrating. Needless to say this caused Crunchy Husband and I to have words.
So on the Friday, we barely spoke.
Then he came home early from work and I knew something bigger was up.
He was sick. Raging fever. He came home early and crawled into bed.
He complained of a fever and what felt like hemorrhoids to him, which was surprising as he has never had them….I was HARDLY sympathetic. Having children has made me all too familiar with them… I therefore basically had a ‘suck it up’ attitude to him for the weekend.
And we missed attending a wedding. A wedding that would have meant a grown up night out for the two of us sans kids.
I had a new dress.
I was not very happy.
Instead of getting better over the weekend, he seemed to get worse.
We whipped him into the doctors office on Monday morning and he, after a quick em look, sent us straight to the ER.
He apparently had some horrid fetid abscess on his butt. AMAZINGLY painful and what was causing the fever..it or them were making him very ill.
Get to the ER and wait….but CH can’t sit. He is also ready to fall down from exhaustion and pain. No gurney. They send us to the laughably called FAST TRACK room. We wait more. CH is now on the floor on his knees.
An administrator type notices this and we finally get him on a stretcher. And wait some more.
Finally a doctor takes a look and gets to work on him pretty quickly….THAT was not fun. Nobody is going near me with a scalpel and no pain meds…holy shit.
But it seemed to help. Sort of. He wasn’t in major pain anymore, but now has to watch the abscesses em..drain and heal.
He can’t sit.
He was told to come back yesterday and did so….that took him over 6 hours. A surgeon was consulted and apparently ripped out some old skin….EEEEEESH and told him if it wasn’t healing to call him for more surgery.
What a nightmare.
So he has lost a week of work. He has lost a ton of weight and you know he is sick when he really doesn’t want to surf the net or play video games.
Epsom Salt baths seem to be about the only thing that helps.
My CH..the man who catches weird shit.
Oh and in between all the pain and ER visits, he had to try to sit in the car while I drove him out to the real estate lawyers offices to finish up the house stuff.
And my birthday is tomorrow.
Something I was ambivalent about anyway….but also just figured once again that there would be no time for me or fun or anything ‘selfish’ like that.
Like last year.
The 12th was my Mother in law’s birthday. She would have been 65. So young.
The 19th will mark one year since she died. I cannot believe that.
So she is gone and so is her house…the one the boys grew up in.
All that baggage. All that grief.
All now.
So no….I cannot feel selfish. I cannot sulk. I cannot sit and feel the aches and pains of my own….Scott has been big in my heart lately again.
Found out on Wednesday that if all goes well for my sister in law, that they should have a baby late March….like Scott.
That hurt.
But there is all these other things going on…big things that affect us right now. CH sees that I am far away from him…..and I am.
I am deep inside…..on my own.
I don’t want my birthday celebrated. Not really…..I am again not in the right head space for it.
I want to be relaxed and happy.
I want to be in a place where I can entertain and have fun.
Instead I find it harder and harder to speak to people.
To reach out.
I turn in.
Tomorrow we now have been asked to attend a last minute birthday party for a friend of Adams….we wonder about the last minute invite…things have been chilly around here lately…apparently my ‘mood’ shows and people are talking.
Pardon me for not sharing my private issues with you and causing your gossip to suffer.
I don’t care really..but don’t like it when it affects my kids and who they play with.
So you can imagine how much fun this event will be.
I am making my mom come with me….protect me.
I so want to move from here. Be somewhere new and anonymous…a fresh start for NEW gossip….but fresh. Away from these people.
Living in a townhouse complex is so incestuous. Every move is noticed…we are surrounded on four sides….you cannot escape their watchful eyes.
Time to move to a cabin in the woods.
I am HOPING that CH will be well enough to go it alone next week. I want to (not sure why) take the kids camping…mom has volunteered to come along.
Basically, I figure there..I can sit around a camp site, drink beer and eat chips and the kids can run feral and wild and I just won’t give a dam.
Better wild in the woods than around here…where the copious beer drinking might be obviously judged by my snoopy neighbours.
Anyway…I turn 39 tomorrow…which is far to old anyway..should I not be more ‘sorted’ by this age??
I got a lovely card and some money from my Grandfather..I think I will add it to my spa voucher from my mom and book a long and selfish day at the spa.
One day for me….soon.
Raul says
Positive thoughts to you, Kerry.
Rauls last blog post..Supporting small businesses in Mexico and in Canada
mamikaze says
Ma’am, what you’ve got there is a clusterf@ck, FUBAR. ((hugs))
mamikazes last blog post..Manga My Family
Shannon says
Oh I’m sorry! I’m pretty big on celebrating birthdays and I know I would be sorely disappointed even if there WAS all kinds of shit going on that was necessarily taking up all the time and attention of others. Boo! If I lived there I would be taking you out for cake. Have to settle for a virtual hug though, since I’m far, far away in Uh-MER-I-CUH.
But still …. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEETIE!
Shannons last blog post..It’s our party and we’ll cry if we want to.
Kat says
Sending happy thoughts and hugs your way. I too dive into myself when I am sad or upset so I get where you are right now. I too can’t wait to move away from the hens in my neighborhood as well. I’ll meet you at the cabin!!
mo-wo says
Oh my pet a zillion birthday well wishes. And strong real estate luck vibes…. Maybe something good soon. I think that hood has met its end.
And may CH forgive me I just can’t resist saying about his wayward butt. Stupid ass! That part so totally not seriously though.
mo-wos last blog post..Travelogue Three: Steal this Tire. Please!
extreme weight loss says
I’m pretty big on celebrating birthdays and I know I would be sorely disappointed even if there WAS all kinds of shit going on that was necessarily taking up all the time and attention of others.I’m sorry! for that..Sending happy thoughts and hugs your way. I too dive into myself when I am sad or upset so I get where you are right now.
extreme weight losss last blog post..Pilates For Abs – Will Your Six Pack Show?
ireneintheworld says
i really felt for you there, reading down this post; life can be such a bitch sometimes but is does move right along, eventually. hope you feel better soon. x
ireneintheworlds last blog post..ANOTHER CAT STORY
scatteredmom says
Wow, when it rains, it POURS!
Happy Birthday 🙂 Sorry it’s not under better circumstances. I hope poor Hubs is better soon (Omg that sounded painful).
Hopefully things will get better soon for you…taking the kids might be just the thing-a nice change of scenery for all , you know? Jake and I are thinking of doing the same thing later in the week-if we can get in, that is. Stupid place doesn’t take reservations. (how dumb is that?)
I totally relate to the townhouse thing too, been there done that. Vowed to NEVER do it again. (lololol)
scatteredmoms last blog post..Watching the Boats [Flickr]
Mocha says
With what you’re going through I don’t want to say something trite and unimportant. You’ve really hit on some big issues and they’ve flooded you like a waterfall, knocking you over and leaving you with the need to close your mouth and take deep breaths when you can catch them.
You need an umbrella, lady. (Ella, ella eh eh eh – damn that Rhianna)
Today you will laugh. Make yourself do that.
Mochas last blog post..Shoes, With A Side Of NCLB
accumbalvatag says
hello there if you need some guidelines about extreme weight reduction you can come right here to determine some tips extreme weight loss stories