Fathers…

So the kids had their homemade gifts for their daddy today….the same, no doubt, as many kids did today.

So daddy is happy with the love and memories created by such gifts from the heart.

And he truly deserves it. He is a fantastic dad. He gives his all to his kids….and they love him for it.

My dad sadly died when I was 14.

A year before I had left my dad in Scotland to come to Canada with my mom.

Dad was an alcoholic.
We had endured losing everything we owned and watching him spiral down over the years.

The move split our family asunder. My Aunts and Uncle on my dad’s side would never speak to us again after that and the death of my Grandmother.

Throughout all though, my dad was always devoted to me. He was a loving man..despite all his problems and he really did try.

However, it was just hard seeing past the drunken rages and illness and lies and hurt that he was causing my mom and his family and friends.

When I came to Canada..I found it really hard to correspond with him.

Everything was so ‘fake’..so forced…dear old dad rolling along. I knew it was far worse than that.

The sadness and worry drove me away and I was not very good at keeping in touch with him.

I am sure I broke his heart..I am sure that was the final thing…

But I also think he understood.

I miss my dad.

But I can’t even remember what his voice sounded like.

I do remember all the fun things he would do with me.
All the playtimes and park times….his patience was great with that stuff.

And if I lived in THAT moment, I could forget all the other things going on around us.

For a moment.

I do wish he was alive.

I wish he had seen his grandchildren.

I wish he had been at my wedding.

Fathers can’t all be perfect or good.

We all can’t have happy memories of them.

But for those of you that do…congratulations.