So life at the house Crunchy has been a bit ‘stressful’ to say the least. Not in a ‘OH HUGE CRISIS’ sense….but a series of things that life can throw at you and because of that this blog has taken a serious beating.
The school strike ending school 2 weeks before it was supposed to threw me for a loop. I was just not mentally prepared yet to have all three kids at home with me. The constant noise and disruption from my routine has not helped me take anytime for ME let alone time for the blog.
To all you lovely readers (I know you few are out there) I am sorry for such a boring blog. To all you lovely PR people. I am so sorry that I either completely IGNORED your email or said yes to something and did not follow through.
Frankly, it has all felt a bit overwhelming. I have lost my solid footing on my life and I don’t feel in control of anything at the moment. I feel like I am just running to catch up on things instead of being in charge. The house is a mess, life is a mess. I feel like a mess.
A few of you may know that my husband is also home due to work issues. While it was the best thing really to happen. I will admit to dreading having him in my ‘world’ all the time….but it has been great. He is a much happier and funner person. If only we didn’t have to worry about pesky things like having money to pay for rent, food etc.
So instead of being able to breath a bit….get refocused….we both are focused on finding work…..both of us spending hours researching and networking and applying and pitching and on and on.
But with that goes the time for nurturing blogs or working on creative projects and those ‘big’ ideas.
Oh yeah and the FAMILY. Yes the kids now need our attention 24/7.
The bickering. The sniping. The constant “MOM!!!!” from one of them on a rotating basis. I am sure they have drawn up a schedule on who has to yell “MOM” next.
I actually begged my husband to replace our sons broken tv so we could have some respite. How sad is that.
I love doing stuff with my kids. I love hanging with them (mostly). I love planning trips and activities…..but I can only do so much. My patience, time and pocketbook can only go so far. SOMETIMES they have to manage themselves. We live in a neighbourhood where they can roam free. Not come slamming in every 5 minutes because “HE DITCHED ME” or “SHE KICKED ME” or “HE RAGE QUIT”….whaaaa?? “CAN I HAVE WATER?” NO. STAY OUT SIDE AND LEAVE ME ALONE.
It also feels like a bulldozer is constantly pushing mounds of laundry and crap into the various rooms in the house. Dishes never leave the sink no matter how many times I wash them. The laundry never goes away. RIGHT NOW THERE IS A FUNNY SMELL AND I CAN’T FIND IT. My dining table is covered in paint.
Yesterday I gave up and my mom and I took the kids to an early movie. Upon return my youngest was shrieking in rage because I wouldn’t let her go outside to play even though the older one’s were. I sent her up to wash her hands and my neglected husband asked me to come over for a hug. JUST as I stepped into his arms, Tara rushed sobbing into the room. She had knocked over the glass bottle of liquid soap (note: I did not buy a GLASS bottled of liquid soap, someone ELSE did) and it had broken all over the bathroom floor. Yes. Clear SHARP glass bits all hidden by clear gooey liquid. Everywhere. That was a fun clean up.
Pat and I feel like total failures when it comes to our parenting. We were both so quiet as kids (mostly) and also fairly independent when it came to filling our time. As an only child, I boggle at the kids inability to NOT BUG THE SHIT OUT OF EACH OTHER.
I would love to have the money time and patience to fill up their summer with activities and vacations. But I can’t. The kids and I really want to go camping this summer, but I am sweating about this. How do I justify the cost? The hassle? Can Pat afford to come with us? Just for camping for a few days. I want to go because I too LOVE getting away from this disaster of a house. I love road trips and new adventures to focus on instead of the day to day realization that I don’t have a handle on ANYTHING going on right now.
Right now I don’t even envy people with more money than I have. I envy organized people. I can’t even begin to plan HOW to get organized. It all feels so overwhelming.
A cluttered house means a cluttered mind…you ain’t kidding. But right now I don’t have the energy to tackle it all…..I just want that bulldozer to just keep shoving it all away and maybe the kids along with it too for a bit.
So all you marketing and PR people….all you 10 readers of this site……My apologies to you all…….I truly do want to keep building a great blog (hahaha). I truly do love working with brands and coming up with fun stuff to write about….but it is feeling like a bit of a tall mountain to accomplish at the moment. I am trying…but I know I am not looking good these days. LIFE is causing trouble for my LIFE blog and there is not much I can do about that at the moment.
Andrea @ Mama in the City says
I feel for you Kerry and it sounds intense for you right now. Hoping you have some smooth days ahead of you soon. I also totally get the *extra togetherness* that happens when the kids are off for summer. I didn’t realize how many things I used to get done when the oldest was at school. Grocery shopping? Who has time for that?