“Special Days” like Mothers Day or Fathers Day always feel like a bit of a job. For me it is wrangling the kids to make sure they have all their stuff…whether they make crafts at school or want to make something at home or have a plan. Mothers day involved making sure the husband was aware of this wrangling and then to make plans for my own mom.
My husband lost both his parents so these days feel a bit painful. I lost my dad when I was a teen and due to his em erratic mental state and alcoholism during my childhood, it is hard sometimes to read all the ‘dear old dad’ posts at this time of year. I remember making him crafts at school…the tie shaped cards that still seemed to be made today, though how many dads wear ties these days?
My dad was a pretty good dad. He just wasn’t that great a husband or human being. He had serious problems that were ignored by all. This being the ‘olden days’ after all. But he was artistic….and I think basically that part of him screamed for freedom in a world that expected the exact opposite for him. He played the roles that he was supposed to do and I think hated every minute of it. Apart from being a dad….I think he really liked being a dad. I always felt loved and protected and he worked hard at encouraging my sense of wonder and magic, my love of art and my love of reading.
I will always be grateful for that. However, I don’t really have much to go on when it comes to knowing how dads are supposed to be….the memories are very vague. Patrick and I compare notes a lot when it comes to our parenting skills vs our parents and what we can remember.
The biggest thing for both of us is that we share regret that they are all not here to enjoy their grandchildren. I would have loved to have seen my dad as a grandpa. He would have been great at it.
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