Too Much Stuff

I am in awe of the bloggers out there who not only are amazing writers but can share their darkest moments bravely and openly. I am not like that. I never have been. I don’t like to unburden myself online, I am not out for sympathy or traffic. However, I do feel the need to apologize to people who have been expecting things online from me and nothing has been happening.

Another thing that I hate ever admitting (hubs will attest to this one too), is that sometimes I am wrong. Wrong and admitting defeat totally suck for me.

But I am sitting here in a house that stinks. It stinks of dog and dog stuff and I have had it. I just spent money a month ago getting the house cleaned up and it was a waste as the place stinks. Two dogs are too much. Once again I am in a home that I can’t invite people over too.  It stinks and is a disaster.  I am overwhelmed again by it all.

Too much dog. Too much mess. Too much noise. The vet also thinks that all the DOG stuff is what made our cat sick. The cat that I currently cannot locate and really need to as I need to give him medicine and make sure he is ok.

I have had a migraine all week. Both the husband and I are feeling stretched to the breaking point by kidstuffanimalstuffmoneystuffworkstuff. There is just too much stuff going on and it all sucks and when you have kids depending on you, you can’t just curl up and hope it all goes away.   Being an adult sucks.

I also realize that my issues are tiny compared to the things other people are dealing with right now.  But however, they are MY issues and they suck.    I don’t think we ask too much for our little family….a little bit of reward for our labours is all we ask.

A year ago today we were sailing up the coast on the gorgeous Disney Wonder.   That was an amazing trip. To many it would have been a lovely treat for their family….for us…..it was beyond amazing.   My kids still talk about it.   We don’t do vacations like that.  It just isn’t in our budget.

We got to go on that trip because of this blog.  Hence I do tend to feel beholden to this site and to keeping it alive.  I don’t write here just for free stuff.  I started the blog because it was a great way to find and share parenting experiences with other moms.   The friends I have made as well as the experiences I have had make me very grateful.  Life has been good because of the site.  However my ability to organize myself around the site has sucked.  Perhaps that is why my house smells like dog.

I joke with people that my biggest problem is saying yes too much.  But I hate to see things slip away…opportunities, experiences…..life would be boring otherwise.

I feel envy for those who are conferences, lunches, etc……budgets and family do not allow for so much..therefore I tend to feel the need to take advantage of whatever opportunities do come my way….even when they threaten to overwhelm.

Many times I feel….like today, that life just wants me to take a step back and walk away.

Keep Calm & Carry On is the saying……I keep saying this over and over….I am trying.   It just doesn’t feel like it is working out so well right now.