So our family is really getting a bit paranoid and jumpy. It really does feel like every time we have some good or peaceful moments, moments when we laugh and shine, along comes something new to totally kick us in the teeth.
Patrick apparently hasn’t been feeling that great since I returned from Blissdom. He started feeling like he had some sort of bronchial thing. Was finding it hard to breath. Finding the cold to be really affecting his lungs. He got worried and popped into a drop in clinic. They were convinced it WASN’T bronchial. They thought heart. They set him up for blood work, stress tests, etc.
The first thing they figured out was that he was and had been diabetic. But they still didn’t think that had anything to do with his other test results. He was reeling from THAT diagnosis…but we said we could deal with that.
He was doing ok. We had an amazing Halloween. We all dressed up, friends came over and we all had a laugh. But he was still not feeling right.
He started to get really concerned when they asked him to retake the stress test. Which he did last Thursday. The results caused them to admit him there and then. They did more tests and then decided he needed an angiogram to be sure. We have been waiting since. The weekend really really sucked. More for him than I. But it still sucked.
He is apparently getting that procedure tomorrow morning.
This has been very hard on us. We don’t do well when family is in the hospital. Patrick does not do well with hospitals. Too many dark and horrific memories of both his mom and dad and our little Scott. His mothers last days are etched on my mind. What can be like for him.
If it hadn’t been for compassionate friends helping him and me get through this….
Life is filled with moments that change you. You are never the same person from before……each event, big or small, shapes us…..this is yet another of those events.
What I hate is seeing those changes in my children. Adam remembers. Adam does not like hospitals either. Fear and sadness should not shape a child. For him we are strong. For him Patrick will be strong and get through all this and be better. WE will be better.
There really isn’t much choice.
Yuck.
Wishing you all the best to all of you from afar. I’ll keep a good thought going for you.
Wishing Patrick a safe and speedy recovery. It can be tough to feel strong in these moments and it’s so important to ask for help and get enough rest. If you do nothing else, just do that. Sending your family love and light.
Although this whole entire thing sucked the big suck, I’m still so thankful that his problems weren’t silent, that he felt bad enough to find out that things weren’t so great so that they could be fixed. Healthy thoughts.