Finding Bliss

Tomorrow I get up early and head to Toronto for Blissdom Canada.

I am quite excited about this.   Anxious too.   I haven’t been away from all my babies since 2008 when I ventured to BlogHer in San Francisco. I am quite anxious about my little Tara not being around me.

BlogHer was a bit of a fog…I wasn’t prepared for it.  Was overwhelmed by all the people.   I found putting myself out there over and over to be very draining.   I didn’t have a tribe then.  I didn’t have close people to fall back on.  I didn’t have a plan.

I don’t have a plan this time either, but  I do know a heck of a lot more people who are attending.  Including my flight and roommate ALotof Loves. For that alone, I am amazingly grateful.

Blogging has completely changed my life and me.   It has shaped everything I do.   What was an outlet for writing about raising my kids has become a medium of self analysis, self study and self growth.   It has inspired me, shown me new ways to think, new career ideas, new aspirations.

I have made friends, gained connections and grown in my own self confidence.

To say I am a bit of a late bloomer would be an understatement.

I don’t know if blogging has made me a worse parent or better.     I do think the person I am now is a better person than 10 years ago.  I hope that reflects on my parenting and relationship skills.

So tomorrow I head into the wild blue yonder and leave very little in the form of instructions for those left behind.   I am trusting in my mom and husbands abilities to help out while I am gone….and it is only until Sunday after all.  This is a big thing for me……micro managing has always been a bit of  an issue.

Being able to let go is a HUGE thing.

A lot lately has again been thanks to Kasia Rachfall.  Her ability to help me focus on those inner thoughts and feelings has really shone a new light on how I was dealing with things and why.  I cannot thank her enough.  I HIGHLY recommend you connect with her if you feel that niggling urge to ‘sort things.’

Tonight I make sure my family is sorted…. I will miss them terribly…but seeing them Sunday will be so special too, especially after a fun weekend like this is sure to be.