Birthing Choices For All

We had a fun evening at a friends house last night.  They have three girls….I am so numb to noise and chaos that I only later realized that we had calmly got through play and dinner with 6 children in the house.   5 being girls.  One being not even one.

In an earlier life a  house full of 6 kids would have sent me running for the hills.  Now, as a mom used to kids flowing in and out of our house on a daily basis, I didn’t even bat an eyelid.

I did however feel really weird when my friend asked if I was really ‘done’…OR…if there were circumstances that would make me think of ‘doing it all again.’

Saying no to getting pregnant again feels really weird.   Saying we are DONE at three should feel fine…we have THREE kids.  I am turning 42 this year.  I am fat and unfit.   We have no money or room for more kids.   But it feels uncomfortable.

It is amazing how our bodies and minds tend to gloss over the less ‘fun’ parts of pregnancy.

My last pregnancy had everyone else worrying more than myself.  My mom was beside herself with concern throughout the whole thing.  I myself sort of breathed a sigh of relief when we got past the 26 weeks mark without any issues and was only filled with sadness that this pregnancy had been SOOO much better and less painful physically and mentally than with poor little Scott.

The ease of Tara apart from being breech has just made me feel more guilty about Scott, but that is another blog post.

I have been reading about many of the companies involved in Birth Fest either as organizers or vendors and I must admit to feeling a tad envious that I cannot partake in the care of the doulas and midwives and homebirthing expertise.

I will always regret that my fears held me back from discussing with more passion allowing my midwives to assist in a homebirth…breech or not.  I think they all felt confident….in themselves…..just not me so much and my strength of will as they focused on finding doctors who would do a breech delivery more than discussing the homebirth.

I regret not trying…but that is stupid.

I do regret not being able to avail myself of all the amazing services that are out there for mom to be and new moms.  That regret comes more from lack of funds than choices made.  And that makes me sad.

And I was thinking about this.  I was thinking about my neighbourhood and the ‘types’ of families we have here.  There are VERY few jogging strollers.  Meaning there are VERY few people who would do Stroller Fit classes …and while I do believe our community centre does now do pre and post natal yoga….I don’t think the classes are over flowing.

The families here tend to be more the types that avail themselves of the FREE programs…the programs funded by the government.  Programs for low budget parents or new to Canada parents.

These parents or parents to be don’t get to hear about doula programs or attachment parenting meetups.  The moms at the drop in’s tend to not discuss baby carriers or organic food.   Those one’s are there…the cost of living is pushing new groups into our area…the lower income one’s are drifting further and further away from Vancouver.

I haven’t even met another blogger at my kids school.

I haven’t done many activities with Tara…..mainly because the community centre or drop in’s haven’t really appealed to ME.  To the mother I think I would rather be…but due to dollars and lack of interest in public transiting across town …instead have stuck close to home and read about the programs with a tinge of envy and jealousy.

I love all that things like Birth Fest represent and I dream that one day pregnancy, birthing and childrearing will include all things Birth Fest for all…not just for a trendy ‘hood like Commercial Drive.