Go ahead and judge all you like….all parents do their ‘thing’ differently. We all parent based on what is important to us and what we are comfortable with.
This comfort usually comes from either following in our parents footsteps or striving to be the exact opposite.
I think we parent from the middle of the two. We also parent based on lifestyle.
Our lifestyle is based on the things WE like. Movies, Books and Video games are biggies in the House Crunch. Needless to say, the TV is on a lot as are video games.
Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t condone using the television as a babysitter….though with Adam, those Baby Einstein DVD’s sure worked great when I was trying to wolf down a sandwich inbetween diapers and feedings.
As I said before, balance is the key. Balance and making sure your children are exposed to as much variety when it comes to entertainment and education is what makes for lively kids….in my view.
There are loads of articles out there filled with warnings about how bad video games or television is for children and their emotional development, let alone issues with obesity etc.
And sure you could blame the television or video games for Adam’s hyperactivity and for Caity’s obsession with fashion and Katy Perry…..but could they be blamed for their love of the outdoors, bike riding, free play, art and reading too?
My kids may push the definition of ‘precocious’ to the max….smart asses is usually how I describe them. But they are not overly violent, they are not overly aggressive..actually far less so than many of their peers.
Our neighbours have no television. The kids watch the odd DVD on their computer and that is about it…until they come over to our house and their eyes are RIVETED to the big colourful box in the corner.
Are they better behaved…more balanced than my kids? Not that I have noticed.
Again…..I firmly believe you parent the way that works for you and who you are…..for us to poo poo tv would make us SCREAMING hypocrites and make me mental, since I LIKE watching television. I just have to make sure it is APPROPRIATE television for them and it wounds us to our core that neither of them have thought Battlestar Galactica or Stargate: Universe is appropriate television.
My son however can watch all things MYSTERY. And not PBS Mystery, but things like Ghost Hunters, or Destination Truth, or UFO Hunters….those shows…he loves.
Many fun evenings are spent here listening to Adam and his Dad have wildly passionate discussions about the merits of these shows and the existence of Big Foot.
We now want him to see the X-Files, we think he would love it. He also loves travel and nature shows.
Caity pretty much is happy with anything on the Family Channel. We hope to fix that as she matures.
I am not a video game player. But I married one.
I do like SOME video games….mainly because I am a geek. I love movies and I love sci fi, so a well crafted video game with great graphics and a fun story will hook me in as a passive viewer and helpful sideline supporter.
My kids have grown up watching their dad play video games. And yes, sometimes games that they shouldn’t have seen. We are not talking about things like Grand Theft Auto…..but there are zombies and Nazis and aliens marching across our TV screen on a regular basis.
The kids also got Nintendo DS’s when they were quite young. Adam has focused on the Pokemon games mostly and Caitlyn has enjoyed art games and of course all the Disney movie related games out there.
For Adam this has been helpful on many levels. Socially having things like Pokemon to discuss and play with other kids at school has been a huge boost for his confidence.
Adam has a hard time figuring out the concept of friendship, acquaintance and the fact that some people just won’t like you no matter what. Peer relationships were a bit confusing for him. He was struggling to find his place in the blackboard jungle called Elementary School. The common ground that the DS games built was a huge help to him and we have seen the changes in him from this.
I also boggle at how a game that was previously to much, too grown up, too complicated suddenly clicks.
Halo is MASSIVE in this house.
Previously, he liked to just get his character to ride all the stuff around the world and that was it. He had no interest in the story or even in any sort of shootemups. Suddenly though…the story clicked with him. Suddenly he was playing the WHOLE game (Halo 3 and Halo Reach). He finished both of them.
Then his buddies across the court got interested. He loves these two brothers. There family spent the summer bringing Adam along with them on trips to the various pools around town and they have also spent a huge amount of time building Lego stuff.
Now, on the rainy days after school my house is filled with boys playing Halo together.
TOGETHER.
That is the key here. Adam has had to learn to share, to cooperate, to take turns and to not get into a snit if he ‘dies.’
Again, this has been a huge help in his social development and maturity and we and his school have really noticed a change in him.
Sure, he is a knowitall and hyper and drives us batshit crazy on a regular basis…but that is our Adam. He is also smart, caring, sensitive and funny as hell.
And I love listening to them and their interpretations of the Halo story. I am sure it would amuse the makers of the game too. I love listening to the wild hoots of laughter and yells over good shots or catching someone by surprise…the camaraderie is a delight to behold.
I love seeing my son in the middle of that.
So while others may fear video games and their ill affects, I have to admit that I am happy with what is has done for my son. I am happy with the confidence they give him and the ability to share his confidence and knowledge with his peers.
I am also glad that it is with a game like Halo….I have always been satisfied with games or movies that for my kids were easily seen as TOTALLY different from real life.
Halo is fantasy…it is an escape with amazing landscapes and frightening alien forces……it isn’t blood and guts. It isn’t gangs and dangerous driving.
I think the message is again…know your kids, know the games, know your comfort level with them.
Yasher says
We are also a house who loves TV, movies and video games and I very much know where you’re coming from! Nice post!
harrietglynn says
I’m fundamentally terrified that video games and TV are the devil’s work. And I want to embrace them. I am so sure that my husband and my son will spend many hours playing them. My husband is totally unconflicted about this inevitable reality.
I think the important things are: YOU (at least one parent) are aware of what the game is and can play. The game is played in a public place (not in their room! Sharing the experience (like you pointed out). I feel less afraid now!
Sidenote: I did not have a TV until I was 7! Just shows ta go ya!
Lisa says
Great post. We are big movie people at our house and our kids love nothing better than sitting down to watch a movie. My kids are not really into video games yet. But their Dad is a video game player, so I am sure they will be.
It is all about balance.