but God isn’t????
Why do people get all pissy about Santa? Every year I hear puffy people telling me that it is wrong to LIE to your kids and that they will be DESTROYED and MESSED UP when they find out the harsh truth.
Now unless something REALLY harsh happened to them as kids..I really do not recall being THAT crushed about the whole Santa thing.
NOTHING polarizes parents more than the Santa thing…it is where religion, idealism and perfection of parenting clashes with more debate and bluster.
Adam told me that a kid in his class is telling everyone that Santa isn’t real. This boy happens to be of a culture and religion that does not DO Christmas.
Adam and I feel that no matter your beliefs…you have to respect other peoples beliefs, cultures and origins and really…tell your kids the same thing.
Santa may annoy you for whatever reasons….the consumerism of Christmas, the paganism, etc….it is not your place to tell me or my kids that what I am doing is wrong.
I have always considered myself an agnostic leaning towards atheism..but with a Protestant background, I respect the right of others to believe what they believe…as long as it does no harm…and telling my kid that Santa isn’t real…is harm in my books.
My kids will no doubt figure it out for themselves…like I did.
Like the tooth fairy, like monsters under the bed and so on……..reality rushes into childhood fast enough.
Do I like that Christmas is an insane mass of greed hidden among the glitter? No.
But our family will do Christmas OUR way. They have learned the pagan, religious and cultural significance of the holiday…as much as they care to learn about at this stage anyway……and Santa is part of that for us.
I am not lying to my kids.
I am not fooling them.
Kids are way smarter than we allow…..kids generally ALLOW themselves to be open to belief. That is how imaginations soar and free play gives them their creative outlets.
They give themselves permission to allow….when people tell them that they are ‘wrong’ for that belief….they are telling kids they are wrong for having an imagination.
I find that very very sad.
Without the permission to believe there would be no faeries, no dragons, no space aliens…..nothing.
We in our house, wholeheartedly give permission to let our kids imaginations run wild.
Shannon says
You should google Dale McGowan and his blog ‘the meming of life” and “santa”. He writes an amazing post (which he reposts every December and just reposted last week) about why Santa is the ultimate dry run for kids in critical thinking. They have to really use their brains to figure out the secret. And no, I don’t believe it will crush their little spirits to find out they have been part of a ‘hoax”. I think it’s all in how you treat them. Rather than making it a big deal, the END of childhood, you can congratulate them on figuring it out. It’s a milestone, something to be celebrated. And then they get to be part of the fun in creating the Santa myth for siblings or other young children they know. It’s fun to be on both sides of Santa, believing in Santa, or playing Santa for younger kids.
Amber says
I’m with you. I ‘do’ Santa. I love Santa. I loved Santa as a kid, and I wasn’t crushed when I figured out the secret. I doubt that my kids will be, either.
I will also say that I don’t promise never to lie to my children. I lie every day, when I sneak chocolate or conveniently ‘forget’ things or spell out words so that my non-reading kids don’t know what I’m saying. I engage in deceit and subterfuge. And I’m OK with that.
I don’t lie about the big stuff. I don’t lie about where babies come from or what death is or any of that. But I reserve the right to preserve the magic of childhood, and make my own life easier with a little bit of strategic concealment. And I don’t think my kids are any the worse for it.
Carrie says
WHAT???!!! Santa isn’t REAL??!!!
OMG. My world is crumbling…
*grin*
Becky says
Wow, what what a well-written article! Hopefully my kids won’t find out until college. =)
Kristina says
I believe imagination is a healthy thing. It cultivates creativity. Parents are there to guide them through between reality and fantasy as they grow…. Let their imagination go wild…. It is a pleasure that adults are no longer privileged with.
harrietglynn says
Yes, VIRGINIA, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus. It would be as dreary as if there were no VIRGINIAS. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.