I grew up in 1970’s Scotland where it was just ‘assumed’ that everyone was the same and “Pakkie” wasn’t considered a racist slur when referring to the proprietors of the local corner convenient store.
I attended public school where bible stories were told to us by the Principal and we attended seasonal religious services at the local ‘kirk.’
I was Christened as a baby by the Church of Scotland as are the majority of my family…a Christening, a Wedding and a Funeral are pretty much the only time you will see the majority of my family in a church. As well as to see their kids sing.
This is pretty common for the majority of the Scottish population even today I think. For all the colours and religions that populated the cities of Scotland…the two soccer one’s were the only one’s ever in peoples minds….yes the age of battle of Catholic vs Protestant was and still is played out on the soccer field.
I don’t think I even knew what ‘Muslim’ was until I came to Canada….I kid you not.
Needless to say, multiculturalism has been a real eye opener for me!
Anyway, suffice it to say..this is pretty much as religious as I have ever got.
My Christian background has done me good. I have lovely memories of the hymns, services and singing. I also knew what all the Romantics and other poets I read in English at SFU were referring to. Many students did not.
I understand the history of the West and it connection to organized religion. I understand the power and the politics that have formed religion throughout the ages.
I understand the need.
However, I do notice the trickle down effect of my and my husbands disbelief or at least our more unconventional views on all things ‘out there’ on our kids.
The other day Caity asked me what a Bible was.
I thought she knew.
Due to the rather abrupt and tragic deaths of their Grandparents when they were so so young and then losing our little unborn baby….we have been pretty happy to have a Heaven for their loved one’s to wait for them.
For me the idea is innocent and safe and pleasing and takes away their hurt. It keeps them feeling connected and that is fine by us.
We have let them shape this Heaven though….it is based on THEIR imaginations. There, Scott, Nana and Poppa await them together with a few cats, fish, and according to Caity – all the dinosaurs that died when the asteroid hit all those millions of years ago.
According to Caity, Hell does not exist…and neither does Rudolph.
My childhood biblical studies were interspersed by awesome epic films like Ben Hur, The Ten Commandments, The Robe, and so forth. My children now watch these films with me and I tend to try to explain the ‘back stories.’
I am also very careful to explain that not all people have these beliefs. That there are many ideas about God and Gods and it is up to them to find their own path through all this….I had fun the other day as we watched the lighting of a Menorah on TV, explaining Judaism to the kids.
I will probably need to do some googling to better explain all the other belief systems to them. But for now, my stunted explanations are enough for them.
They understand how different people are. They see it in their own schools and classrooms. They understand different customs, cultures, rules and so on. They hear it from their friends. They are young enough and open enough to pass no judgement unless it sounds really really wrong to them.
My mom feels very sad that our kids have not been Christened. She does understand the hypocrisy of that act here and now. In Scotland it was part of the culture more than part of the religion. It isn’t that way here.
I think more on these things at Christmas. I feel it is important to let them understand that culturally the origins of this holiday are Christian. Yes the time and celebrations were superseded by the pagan Winter festivals….but culturally speaking..for our Western Christian Civilizations…it is a Christian holiday that all enjoy thanks to the pagan influence and things like Santa Claus.
So while their eyes gleam with anticipation over the loot that Santa will bring them, they count down the days on the Advent Calendar and look at my little nativity scene and learn all the songs….the carols, the hymns, all of them……it is all for them about magic and wonder….and that is all I remember as a child too and that really should be quite enough.
This post was partly inspired by a little discussion I had on twitter with Mommy Perks. She also wrote a great post about love and acceptance of all people, not matter the differences.
Shara says
Thanks for linking to my post. I will link to yours, also. I didn’t want to do that without first asking 🙂 (Not that I mind that you did it – LOL)
I have Scottish relatives. I toured the area as a child – loved it!!
I think that most parents have to explain so much to their kids…part of the learning process. I love parents who are willing to talk and converse – well done!
Oh – we don’t do “Santa” in our home. Many of our friends do but we have chosen not to. All the same, my daughter watches kid programs on TV and sees Santa and comes to me: “When is he coming to OUR house?” Crap 🙂
I got into trouble when I was in the 1st grade because I told all of the kids that Santa was not real. My teacher was angry and sent me to see the Principal (this was in Australia, where I grew up). I asked my folks, “Why did I get into trouble for telling the truth?” My own son then did the same thing in Preschool! So – with my daughter now – I simply say, “I’m not sure, honey. Just not sure when Santa is coming.” LOL.
We do what we can, eh? 😉
pomomama aka ebbandflo says
i smiled reading your account of growing up in scotland in the 70’s – LOL but it really was all so simple
i do kind of miss the whole scottish kirk christmas thing but i don’t miss the hypocrisy of sunday best for sunday then to hell with christianity for the rest of the week – some of the nastiest people i have ever met were devout kirk attenders.
and it’s interesting having the wee guy grow up here. i try to give the back story too, especially since nothing is really covered in school apart from st. patrick’s day (wtf????). mr ebb is an atheist so home is very areligious – i try to remember the good bits of it so wee guy has some background information to counter his zealous evangelical school peers with (oh yes, they do exist – even in grade 2)
PS: we’re doing santa – we have to support coca cola at least once a year 🙂
harrietglynn says
My husband is Catholic so we occasionally make it to mass. He calls himself a cradle Catholic and says it’s just part of who he is. I consider Christmas as much secular holiday as a religious one. It’s about FAMILY, FRIENDS, COMMUNITY, GIVING, WINTER, SANTA, and for many Baby Jesus.
Merrrrrrrrry Christmas!
Lindsay Dianne says
Great post.
For me, Christmas is about family, love, acceptance and hope.
Our daughter does go to Sunday School and she knows the lessons of the bible, but we don’t practice the faith at home. It makes for interesting questions and conversations, but above all I try to make sure she understands that some people believe in that, some people don’t and that everything is okay, no matter if it’s the same or not.
Being a diplomatic parent is sometimes the most challenging thing on earth.
Marilyn @ A Lot of Loves says
I grew up in a non-Christian household and I later converted to Christianity. Our kids do go to Sunday school and we talk about religion a fair bit. But we’re also non-traditional so they get a balanced view of religion and life (I think). I went to Catholic school as a child (although my parents are not believers) and I encountered some really terrible people who were supposedly good religious folk. I think Christmas can be meaningful to many non-Christians, but I do think we get just a little bit more from the holiday since it’s more than toys and gifts for us.
Carrie says
I’m quite anti-organized religion. I have seen too much and learned too much about the grief people’s belief’s can cause. But I do not begrudge you your right to believe it if you so wish.
My husband jokes he can’t go to church cause the floors burn his feet LOL. So that should tell you how religious we are in this house.
Christmas is no longer about religion. It is a commercialized holiday, just like Valentine’s day. But I’m okay with that. I like presents 😉