BFF’s

I have a friend. It is her birthday today.
We have known each other for a very very long time.
Our Grandparents were friends and so were our moms…still are!

We really consider our families more to be a ‘family’ than just friends. Over the years they have included us in many special events including countless Christmases, Thanksgivings, Weddings and Funerals.

They have supported my mom and I through much….just by being there and showing that they care.

The eldest daughter has been my friend since we were about 4. We met when their family came to visit us in Scotland. We had a blast.

After that we used to send each other comics. When Mom and I visited Canada, a visit to my friends house was always comfortable….we just were comfortable together….and always took up where we left off.

And so it was when we came to Canada to live.

I had no friends here except her. I needed her MORE than she needed me. But she never ever made me feel like I WAS intruding in her life.

She would come to my house for sleepovers and I to her place.

We would hang out and read, watch tv, draw, buy comics downtown or see a movie….all pretty quiet and laid back.  Yes…we were nerds…or had nerdish tendencies.

We also had a lot of laughs.   We have always managed to bounce off one another with very similar senses of humour.  She can make me laugh HARD.

We were a bit weird.

No really..we were…

Her sisters used to just roll their eyes at us.

But for me …our weekends were heaven….I could just be ME with her.  I could relax and just have fun MY way.  No peer pressure, no school worries, no image issues….just be.

Not to put too much weight on it all..but I do think she saved me.  I think I relied very heavily on her being there…..clung perhaps.

I do recall being very jealous of her ‘other’ friends.    As foolish as that was.  I do remember in my teen years feeling very threatened by her school chums and the fun she had with them.

We won’t talk about what happened when we FINALLY started to ‘blossom’ and discover boys….she beat me to the whole boyfriend thing!

We have led different lives her and I.  But have always been brought together by fun and the things we did share in common….and not just movies, books, booze, etc..but our friends and our history.

History is what holds us together….more than words.  I have never been one to sit down and really share with her what is in my heart…I don’t really do that with anyone…and nor does she really.      I don’t tell her that I love her enough….I know that.   I don’t show her enough how much she means to me…..I just tend to hope she knows.

She was there for me when I got married….

And insanely she was there for the birth of our first child.   For that alone I should be paying her student loans or buying her a car. She had a pager just for the CALL….and she stuck through that long and horrific labour……and then went to work the next day!!!

And then….

And then…..when we lost our little Scott, she gave us a trip to Disneyland.

What do you say to that?   My friendship to her feels to lacking compared to how much she has done for me in the name of friendship.

I feel unworthy of her love.   I really do.

I also feel really really lucky.

So my friend…..Happy Birthday……

We all miss you…but oh my goodness I love watching you live your life……go….have adventures and come back to tell me your stories.