Now that I have finally hidden all the gray hair again, I can finally pretend I am a young and hip mom.
But I get jarred out that fantasy quite easily. For example – as I was driving around on some errand the other day, I was listening to CBC Radio One and the topic was telephones and music and inspiration around them. I wasn’t paying too much attention until the musician being interviewed mentioned talking to a friend in Scotland who didn’t have a phone, so many of the calls had this person calling from a phone booth.
The musician found this very romantic, as the paid factor and rush (your money = time on phone) added a sense of importance and urgency to the call that isn’t there anymore.
This really brought back a LOT of memories. Because for many years, we didn’t have a phone! For a single mom on a limited income, a phone and the cost of the calls was just too prohibitive. My mom managed any important calls by doing them at work, borrowing friends and families phones, and from the phone booth down the road.
This meant any emergencies or important calls had to be timed and usually meant leaving me at home while she rushed to the phone booth…or I tagged along and stood either inside the cold and steamy booth or waited outside warily watching the world pass by as the call was made.
For my mom and I, the phone booth represented one more inconvenience and ‘shame’ brought upon us by crappy luck and alchoholism. It was one more worry my mom had to bear. One more feeling of helplessness.
As a mother now, my admiration grows daily for what she went through and suffered through and didn’t burden me with. My abilities as a human being and a parent are pathetic compared to what she did. My kids have seen me cry. Seen me snap. Seen me upset. I don’t do a good job of hiding my feelings about issues that really have no meaning to their little souls.
In all our hard times, when she was panicking about money, about a roof over our head, about paying unpaid bills, I never felt the panic. Not once. She never ever broke down in front of me. She never ever lost her cool about it all. All I saw was her strength and determination. She never said a bad word in front of me about my dad or about the friends and family who sadly showed their true colours during our time of hardship.
Now, I can only imagine. Imagine your child is sick. Imagine you need to call a doctor. Imagine that to do so you either have to run downstairs to the neighbour and ask to borrow their phone or run to the phone booth. Both entails leaving sick child alone…even for a minute.
Imagine how that feels.
Imagine now having anyone to crumble against and rely on for support.
Imagine having to do it all by yourself, all the time.
My heart goes out to my mom. I can’t believe what she went through.
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On a lighter note….imagine that your kids now have no clue what the hell you are talking about. I don’t think my kids have even SEEN a pay phone.
They can’t even imagine a world without phones or cell phones.
They keep asking me what video games I played as a kid!
When I try to tell them about some of my childhood experiences I may as well be reading from Dickens for all the difference it makes to them. My childhood experiences are totally alien to them. I mean hey….it was in the last Century right!? That was in olden times.
Amber says
My kids don’t know what a pay phone is, either. Or a rotary phone. And they don’t have to stand in line at the bank, or even share a computer. We have 3 in our house, so they can generally have a free one to play their games or what have you.
It really is a whole different world, and I am not even that old.
.-= Amber´s last blog ..Cutting the Crusts Off =-.
harrietglynn says
To think how much time we spend yammering on the phone! We did have, yes, a DIAL phone, when i was little.
I love those old English phone booths – it’s true; they are romantic. And how the heck is Superman going to do his thing now?
.-= harrietglynn´s last blog ..Getting out into the greater blogosphere =-.
Print Brochures says
Your mom sounds like quite a woman. It helps to hear stories like that from time to time. I feel so grateful for all I have.