So have bankrupted myself after financing just TWO birthday parties for the Children Crunch. It is going to suck when I really have to work at Tara’s…hers is in 17 days…very bad planning on my part right there!
Husband was horrified at the costs of the birthday PLACES and so home was the place..but really….it cost me the same for each one had I had them at a place like Crash Crawleys, or even the community centre. When you factor in all the ‘supplies’ to make it birthdayish, and then all the CLEANING and haranguing kids to clean their rooms….blood equity alone put me over the cost of just renting a bloody theme place.
Mind you..just as well when no one showed up for Adams party.
I totally bollixed that one one up.
Because Adam’s birthday fell on a Friday…a half day at school….I thought that since he was always sad about wanting after school playdates and none of his friends except the girls every asking him or saying yes….that THIS would be the perfect way to have a BIRTHDAY PLAYDATE.
And that is what the invites said. Come enjoy a Friday afternoon with Adam to have fun on his birthday.
He picked 3 boys and 3 girls from his class and a couple of boys that live in our complex. The neighbour boys said yes immediately.
He then told me that the girls had said yes but the boys were a dud. I TRIED calling parents…that didn’t work. I tried to talk to the kids themselves..blank looks.
I keep trucking along with the plans though..what can you do.
House was decorated, crafts were bought, cake ordered.
When I go to pick him up…the boys for sure are not going. And the girls are all balking for no reason except it looked like the parents suddenly didn’t know what I was talking about. Only one mom had the decency to be embarrassed by it all.
I won’t go into the why’s here..but I ranted plenty over at Canada Moms Blog about it all.
Needless to say…I feel simply horrid. Like I totally let down my son.
He was so sad.
Does that look like the face of a boy who just got fancy new roller blades?
Needless to say… planning Caity’s party has felt totally awkward after that.
I felt like I was using my mistakes with him to learn to do it better…..GUILT.
And needless to say…Caity’s party was way better.
Only 3 girls were no shows to Caity’s party..they didn’t even bother RSVPing.
Mind I didn’t RSVP to a party that Caity was invited to today…mainly because I don’t actually even know who the kid is or what he or his family looks like. I don’t think I have met him or them and it felt sort of weird.
I try to keep up with who is who with my kids acquaintances, and this one did not ring a bell.
So really…I am just as bad as all the other non rspvpers.
Again, though…I think it is that clash of cultures thing. I remember as a kid being really excited by the receipt of a birthday party invite and rushing to tell my mom. The kids now don’t seem to know what to do with the invites and neither do the parents.
The one’s that DO say yes are more than happy to drop their kids off with complete strangers and trust that I haven’t sold their kids by the time they arrive to pick em up.
The party was helped in that OUR friends have girl children that we could invite…thus padding out the numbers a bit.
With Adam we are not so fortunate in that department.
So at least my efforts were rewarded this time. Because really…WHO is the party about…the kids or US who have busted our derrières into ground meat with the buying of themed decor, suitable nibblies, goodie bag supplies, crafts and entertainment and a shiny house to impress the adults and any kids who may share tales of the horror of the House of Crunch. We are all secretly Party Mamas.
The diva mom in me can sit back and rest on my tired laurels now. For 17 days.
And speaking of leaving kids with strangers. We invited the girl next door as she is the same age as Caity and they play almost every day when all the children are roaming about. SHE tends to roam about a bit too much for a six year old for my taste and the mom tends to not be up on even REMOTELY helicoptering her daughter.
We have seen and heard many strange instances and while NOT abuse OR neglect per se …there does seem to be an issue with safety and what a six year old SHOULD be doing and for how long alone and so on.
Case in point after our party. The girl told us that she had ‘instructions’ to play outside or go in the house if the mom wasn’t home.
We said we couldn’t leave her unsupervised and to stay and play till her mom got home.
This went on. We went a few time….3 or 4…to bang on door to see if she was home yet. No answer.
6pm rolls by and the mom hasn’t appeared to collect her child.
The child has no contact number of where she is. Nothing.
I am pissed.
We go again to pound on door and then to go in and see if there are telephone numbers that we can call.
SHE ANSWERED THE DOOR!
Said she had been home since around 4:30!!
I totally lost it.
She claims to have not heard the door!!! WTF?
I pointed out that these are small houses and no way could you NOT hear us.
She said that it was okay her daughter had been told to come home after the party.
I pointed out that I was legally bound to make sure a minor was placed in adult hands and not just told to wander into a possibly empty home.
She didn’t seem to get that.
I pointed our her daughter was SIX.
What also ticked me off was that a NORMAL parent who arrives back AFTER the party time is over would rush over to see if her daughter was OKAY and or if they had been good/bad or enjoyed themselves.
NOTHING. She came home and went in without checking on the well being of her child!!
This totally horrifies me.
And that sort of spoiled the day for me.
But I think Caity had a good time AND it was her first real birthday party. We have not done one yet for her that friends were involved so this was pretty special.
It was what kept Adam holding up too. He HAS had ‘real’ parties in the past and so a crummy one is sort of allowed.
We did make up for that with a trip to Chuckie Cheese and much junk food!
I am a wreck. I am broke. I don’t know how I am going to throw a THIRD one into this mix.
But I will freely admit to being a total event planner. I do really enjoy it. Even when it kills me.
And we had adults over at same time which we haven’t done in ages and so proved to me that yes…we can entertain here…it isn’t THAT bad.
And my little patio looks awesome too!
NaomiJesson says
Personally, you can’t usually get rid of me if my child is invited for a playdate. Usually he wants me to stay a bit, and then I can go but I end up staying as I like to get to know the other parents and families better. Especially if there are going to be future playdates.
I am always surprised when a parent just drops off their kid without even checking out where or who they are dropping them off with. How do you know someone from just saying hello at the school playground? I worry about those kids being put into situations that are NOT safe.
Luckily, they were with you as it seems they are safer than with their own family! GAH!
.-= NaomiJesson´s last blog ..Summer Fun =-.
Carrie says
Since my girls are still quite young, playdates always mean sticking around. Besides, I want to get to know the parents and I hope they want to get to know me. No way I will drop my kid off at someone’s house UNLESS I know the parents and like them somewhat.
I’m happy to report my oldest’s party went off okay even though the weather sucked and we ended up staying inside. I was freaking out about entertaining the kids but they entertained themselves quite well. Amazing what a pack of balloons can do 🙂
And like you I get to do it all again in about 2 1/2 weeks. Yikes!
.-= Carrie´s last blog ..The Power of 4 =-.
Marilyn says
Since my oldest isn’t quite 4 it wouldn’t occur to me to not attend a party that he was invited to. At what age do parents just drop their kids off? K was invited to his first b-day party (not counting relatives) and I was just assuming I was going along too.
I actually kind of dread the whole birthday thing. I don’t want to deal with a successful party or a dud. Although I think a dud would really be heart-breaking. I’m so sorry for Adam. 🙁
.-= Marilyn´s last blog ..On the Bike =-.
Amber says
Poor Adam. Isn’t that what being the oldest is about, though? They’re always the guinea pig that we make our mistakes on. I say this as an oldest child myself, with no particular malice. It’s just life.
As for me, I have managed not to have a single kids’ party yet, and my oldest is now 5. There’s no way I’m getting away with that again!
.-= Amber´s last blog ..Calling People Nazis is Uncool =-.