Having three kids is a bit crazy. Things all take a bit longer and are a bit more complicated when you add a third kid……room in cars for car seats, room in house for cribs and beds, seats at restaurants, hands to hold, and so on.
Throwing a baby into any dynamic always causes a bit of an adjustment. Just getting out of the house takes a bit longer. Things are forgotten. Children that once relied on YOU to remind THEM to bring stuff, soon find out they are shit outta luck.
Tara has made things maybe a bit more crazy than other babies. And I have realized that she was doing this even before she was born.
She was breech. She refused to not sit up! Her favorite position in utero was upright…straight up and down…legs curled around. And that is pretty much the way she wanted to and could sit at an extremely early age.
So there went my dreams of an home birth. I don’t think my husband or my mom really took me seriously about this. But I was serious. Caity had come hard and fast, so I really wasn’t looking forward to a race to the hospital again. Also, I was deeply concerned about the kids. I didn’t want them left at home. I didn’t want them NOT being a part of this.
So Tara refusing to turn was a big let down for me. For sure I had very confident midwives who had done breeches..and I suppose if I hadn’t lost Scott, I wouldn’t have been so skittish about that and just gone with their instinct on the whole thing.
But they knew I was uneasy about that. So instead they TRIED to find doctors in the Lower Mainland who would be willing to deliver a breech baby. They are few and far between. They had a couple lined up…but again….really all now depended on what Tara wanted to do.
By this time the stress of it all was getting to me. I was at the point where I just really wanted her OUT and SAFE and it all over and done with.
So when I realized my labour was on the clock….leading up to the end of the willing doctors shift…..I was more than resigned to the inevitable c-section.
Therefore, apart from all the fun of what was a ‘useless’ few hours of contractions….I was pretty calm about it all. And so was Patrick.
However..my children and my mom were not. My mom, who had just been freaking from day one was freaking the kids out and they all felt cut off and left out and I hated that I could not make Tara’s delivery a better experience for them.
Full of joy. Full of energy.
She never sleeps longer than two hours. EVER.
She never sits still.
She doesn’t fall asleep in your arms.
She wiggles. She bounces. She yells.
I will sell my soul for someone out there who can help us get this child to sleep.
I am losing my mind.
My total lack of sleep is KILLING all the joy that should be had in having such a fun and crazy baby.
Life feels on hold instead of being relished and enjoyed.
The whole family is cranky from disturbed sleep. Everyone is woken by Tara. All night long.
This is not healthy for any of us.
We love our little girl, but she needs to sleep. Four hours would rock. I then could handle and enjoy all her crazy energy and still feel like could accomplish something during my day and not have the entire Sauriol clan growling and snarking at each other.