The other day the kids had a special assembly at school where they were visited by a policewoman. She was apparently talking about bullying, but the handout that the kids brought home was about what is basically ‘Stranger Danger.’
The Lower Mainland has had a rash of attempted child abductions AND has horrifyingly connected some brutal attacks on young teens and pre-teens to ONE SUSPECT who has been praying on children for years around here.
We had our OWN close call with a man exposing himself to Caitlyn in the summer at our complex’s playground.
This has all sadly brought the reality home to us all that it really is NOT safe out there for our kid.
I thought I would share a few pointers on the note…also, please visit the Vancouver Police Department website (for Vancouverites) for more information. There is also Child Find, Safe Kids Canada and Cyber Tips.
For Parents:
– Never leave your small children alone, especially in a car.
– Always accompany your child to a public washroom.
– Be aware of the people around you. If anyone is paying extra attention to your child and it makes you uncomfortable, call 911.
– Keep up to date photos of your children. Record their height, weight, eye and hair colour and any distinctive birth marks.
– As soon as they are able, make sure your child know their complete name, address and telephone number.
– Teach your child about 911
-Teach your child to not give out this information without permission from you or someone they trust.
– Teach your child that a stranger is anyone they don’t know. Even someone friendly. If someone they don’t know tries to touch them, or take them somewhere, they should scream, kick and yell.
– Don’t scare your kids. We know not all ‘strangers’ are bad. But teach them about trusting their instincts. And teach them about personal space and what you can do with friends and family is not appropriate with people that they do not know.
– Make sure your child knows to never enter a car or house of someone they don’t know.
– Make sure you know your children’s friends.
– Come up with a secret word. This can be used in emergencies when someone the kids might not be familiar with is allowed to pick them up from school for example.
– LISTEN to what your children say. If they are uncomfortable with someone…babysitter, family member, friend of family, etc. Find out why.
– Teach them to go to a store clerk or cashier if they are lost in a mall. Or a woman. (statistically, women strangers are still safer).
– Teach them to yell for help if they are in a dangerous situation. “This is not my mom/dad” (On Dr. Phil, it was “Danger Danger 911”)
– To remember that this all does not mean that children cannot be polite and respectful of people they do not know. Children need to learn to speak to adults and to learn what is appropriate and what is not.
An adult should NOT need assistance from a child (can you help me find my puppy). An adult should not be trying to touch them or ask them to get in their cars.
******
I was thinking about all of this and the scary stories about child abductions that fill the media and wondering if the world really IS a scarier place than it was when say, I was kid.
But you know what? I think it is just that we are more aware and maybe less naive.
I remember as a pre-teen and teen cars slowing and stopping and offering me rides when I was walking alone on streets. This was in broad daylight. It was from men of all ages and types if I recall now. I find it interesting that I have barely given this a thought in my entire adult hood until now. But I do remember. I remember just being polite and saying no thank you and carrying on.
I honestly don’t know what I would have done if the issue had been forced by one of these men.
I do think that the sense of community is not as strong as it was when I was a child. I used to ride public transit to school as a child in Edinburgh. I was taught to be polite to adults. I recall many conversations on the buses with seniors who were genuinely interested in what I was doing and wanted to make sure I arrived at my destination safely.
People looked out for kids out in the public venues. People helped moms. People ‘fussed’ for lack of a better word. But I think we were grateful for that fuss.
I think the biggest thing to remember is for us and our kids..is to go with our guts. If things don’t feel right…then they are not right.
Teach our kids to follow their own feelings and not necessarily those of their friends and peers.
If you are out and about keep an eye on the children you see around you. Be helpful. Be aware.
Carrie says
It’s a scary world now…I remember riding my bike to friend’s houses, walking to school when I was in grade 5 or 6 by myself, playing until well after dark at someone’s house and then riding my bike home.
When my kids are older I will drive and/or walk them to their friend’s houses unless it happens to be right next door and they can cut through the fence!
.-= Carrie´s last blog ..How do you Roll? =-.
CrAzY Working Mom says
It is a much different place now than when we were kids. I remember riding my bike all over the place with friends. We’d be gone from sun up ’till sundown and Mom never questioned us. I cannot imagine my kids doing that now. Hell, I won’t even let them go to the restroom by themselves!
Amber says
I don’t think the world is scarier, like you I think we’re just more aware. And I think t here’s a big downside to all this, too, as our children are kept indoors and denied the freedom to explore. It is really tough to balance it all, and I’m not even sure how I’ll do it as my kids get older.
What I really wanted to say is that I found the book “Protecting the Gift” by Gavin De Becker to be tremendously helpful in considering these issues. He was very big on trusting your instincts, too, and teaching your children to trust theirs. After reading that book I am far less concerned about strangers than I am about acquaintances, since sexual molestation by a friend or relative is sadly quite common. 🙁
.-= Amber´s last blog ..Maternity Leave Eligibility for the Self-Employed =-.