Mama Bear is out and about and she is pissed.
With the great weather we have had over the last few days, we have spent a lot of time out side. Us grown ups were working on cleaning up our front and back patios, while the kids were up and roaming wild and free throughout the complex with whatever friends were available at that time.
Bikes were out, water guns were out, princesses were out in full force.
All was good.
Until yesterday.
The first issue was sort of expected…it keeps happening..it is why I despise a lot of our neighbours and their rotten children.
On Friday we watched the children of the MOST disfunctional family in our court leave to spend the weekend with their dad, all the while listening to the ex’s gripe and snipe at each other in front of the kids. How awful.
This is the ‘mom’ who has the license plate cover that reads ‘If you are riding my ass, at least pull my hair.’ Real classy.
The other pair of boys family is friends with these people. They hang out a lot. We have noticed that Adam is only interesting to the kids when these children are away for the weekend.
So basically HE was out playing from 9 am Sat onwards….bikes were out, action figures, you name it.
He was happy.
My daughter was happy too as we have a little girl her age living next door to us. They too can go all day.
I love it.
Anyway….sure enough.
The older disfunctional kids came home late yesterday. For a while it seemed okay. Adam was even ‘allowed’ to play on their tramploline with the other kids.
For five minutes.
Until some other apparently more SPECIAL kid showed up.
Then he was PUSHED physically off the trampoline and told to go away.
Adam was great.
He told them they were a bunch of bullies and walked away.
My heart broke into a million pieces.
I swear, I am gonna get that kid alone and put the fear of me and every deity he can think of.
I get that he is messed up no doubt.
I was a child of divorce too.
I get that on his return he feels he needs to reestablish his position…but not at the cost of my childs feelings…and fuck those other snot bags for going along with it.
When he resignedly said he had no friends, my heart sank. I had to explain that these weren’t really friends anyway. Just neighbour kids that were OKAY to play with…but that was it. They weren’t friends.
We told him that he would find REAL friends…he would know what a real friendship was when he had it and not to worry.
Big heavy stuff.
Fuckers.
Then.
My daughter had had a fantastic day. Her and her little buddy had gathered up a pile of dress up clothes with another older girl and they had headed to the little play area in the court across from us to play princesses. The big girl did face painting. They were in heaven.
They came back around 3 or 4ish to be thrilled that we had moved her playhouse from her room to the front yard. Immediately both boys and girls had swarmed into it to play restaurants.
All was good.
Or so we thought.
After dinner, while sitting with her dad and chit chatting about stuff, she suddenly blurted out about a man who had shown his penis to her!
We all choked on our tongues and GENTLY tried to find out if she was being silly and crude or if there was something serious going on.
After much agony convincing her that SHE wasn’t in trouble and had no reason to get all mad….the story slowly came out.
We confirmed bits of it with the other little gir, and Adam too.
Indeed…a man on a bike had come into the court and approached the girls….climbed right up to them and proceeded to play with himself after asking if they wanted to see a ‘surprise.’
The girls were more pissed at him interfering in their game and they promptly packed up and left.
I would like my heart to start beating again anytime soon.
We didn’t get the whole story really till 9 at night.
Patrick then went to talk to the other neighbours and they went to the court where this happened and sure enough, one of the dads had seen the guy, but didn’t assume anything was amiss at a glance…but at least we had a description.
He urged Patrick to call the Police and they wanted to send someone down to talk to us about it.
My daughter was amazed that the police ‘man’ was a police ‘WOMAN’ “with pretty hair!”
She took down all the details and talked to the neighbours too.
She will let us know if they want or need to speak to the kids about it.
While we always keep an ear or eye out on the kids while they play outside here…we need them to stick to the two nearest courts and they have it drummed in to tell us which place they are going to when and so on, with my mom in the next court and all the other kids out and about on the weekends, we have always felt fairly secure in letting them roam a bit further than outside our gate.
It has been the luxury of living in a family friendly townhouse complex.
Not any more.
In light of the horror of Tori Stafford, we have been hammering home the rules about ‘strangers’ to both kids.
Caity in her stubborn ways, never wants to hear anything about ‘what to do’ or any sort of rules, and Adam always figures he knows better…we have been forced to work really hard on the issues around ‘stranger danger.’
I think for Adam, seeing how seriously shaken we were by this..HE at least is starting to get it. Perhaps he being big bro, will help get the message through to Caity.
This morning I popped into the complex managers office to let him know..he was horrified as he has a small child too! He is going to see about getting an official warning memo out to the residents.
He also, by my description thinks it may have been one of the ‘binners’ we see around here. For an enclosed complex, we get a lot of through traffic between the dumpster divers and people walking their dogs who think OUR green space is a great place for their dogs to take a shit.
We will be keeping the kids a lot closer to home from now on.
Which sucks for them…for the summer..when they should be playing and having fun.
Our tiny front yard and the green space beside our house will have to do for a while.
Now I must go and colour the fresh crop of grey hairs that have sprouted over night from all of this.
Ah parenthood…
QuiltNut says
I’m just shocked. And horrified. I’m glad Caity and the others weren’t hurt. I honestly don’t know what to say
QuiltNuts last blog post..quilt monday
Kathleen in Canada says
(((hugs))) that’s so scary. But please skip the “stranger” talk. Children, sadly enough are more likely to be hurt by someone they know. Even Tori knew her abductor – I read the woman had been to their house previously to discuss breeding dogs. If they ever got lost than a fear of strangers could keep them from going to rescuers (that has happened before… I read an article before about how one child was lost in the woods for several extra days because he was hiding from the stranger-rescuers).
What I used to tell my kids is they couldn’t go with anyone unless they came and told me first. And I stressed that good adults never ask kids to look for lost pets or try to show them neat things in their car or home. That if an adult wanted to show them anything it was time to go home right away.
It’s hard when you can’t feel safe about your kids in your own neighbourhood. More (((hugs))) and best wishes!
Amber says
That’s so upsetting! I hope that they find the guy. I would have a pretty hard time letting my little ones out of my sight after that happened.
And I’m glad they sent a police woman. Now Caity has a whole new world of career options to consider. 🙂
Ambers last blog post..Paid Maternity Leave in Australia
Bobbi Janay says
Holy cow. I would be on a hunt. They pervert needs to go to jail. Sorry about the strong reaction but with guys like him it only gets worse. I hope you catch him, until it all gets firgured out your family is in my thoughts.
Bobbi Janays last blog post..8’s Enough
thordora says
I don’t get too worked up about strangers-mine know they don’t go with anyone unless we say so, regardless of what they say-that if it’s ok, the adult will WANT to check with us. And if they ever feel unsafe, to run/kick/yell/bite etc and get home or away.
Part of the problem comes too when I see parents giving the mixed message of “speak to the strangers/people I deem ok” without really qualifying it. Kids don’t know the same value judgements that we do.
Bullies though. Argh. We’ve got some of that action-Vivian’s friend is a bit of a snot. Same as you, I know he’s in a single parent home and there’s stuff going on there, father never involved, etc, but he’s just not parented, and my kid suffers and I thought she wouldn’t deal with this until a bit older than almost 6. So it’s a constant battle talking about it.
thordoras last blog post..I’m sorry, is The Mother’s Act trying to help women? My bad…
Angella says
You know that I hear you on this.
If only we could obliterate the idiots…
Angellas last blog post..Uncharted Waters
patois says
I’m so very sorry for the pain you feel on both. How freakin’ horrible. But can I just tell you that, your conversation with Adam about real friends and just neighbors is a classic? Brilliantly done.
patoiss last blog post..Working Girls and Not
ian says
That’s pretty f*ing disgusting. You would think that being on a court with quite a few townhouses around that they wouldn’t that bold – but it seems people are hiding in plain sight nowadays… which really sucks, and as hard as we try to allow our kids to have the same wide-open childhood that we had – certain people and events are making that very difficult.
ians last blog post..What’s wrong with having girls?