Yes…sorry, turning 39 IS aging.
My body is not the body it was even ten years ago….and I think even if I actually took care of it, it would not make much difference.
Case in point.
My periods (yes boys..menses talk) have ALWAYS been pretty spot on….MAYBE a day off….and that is it.
Also ALWAYS five days long.
When I was a teenager, my periods were awful. Heavy and filled with agonizing cramps pretty similar to back labour.
Then, as I got older it moved to milder cramps and now hardly any…but…. RAGING PMS…that builds up over about two weeks. The family will all back me up on this.
Now though. Now. Periods are getting flaky…showing up days later, or early….again, only by a few days..but for me this is really annoying.
THIS one was due on the weekend. It still hasn’t arrived today – Wednesday, but the RAGE has. I keep asking the husband to sic me on someone he has a hate on for…house buyers, insurance agents, web design co’s, – I am out for blood.
ALSO it now means I will be in FABULOUS (yes there are lot of caps going on – but I am really mad) shape for the wedding I am attending the coming Saturday.
Boy I will be a barrel of fun monkeys crammed into really tight underclothes. Sigh.
Thanks body.
Your cycle is the best indicator of where you are on the aging scheme…my mom found this too…slinking towards menopause, she found it all really depressing. I totally understand.
And now for the woe poor me bit.
I am now a hungry reader and writer at Glow in the Woods. I need those ladies. I read the experiences of loss and getting over the loss and sometimes of trying again.
And for those that are trying again or just thinking about it…most have the time to do so.
To grieve their horrible losses….to move forward and then look to the future.
I am turning 39 this month. Not old. I don’t feel old. But for baby making …it is getting up there.
And when I see my periods start to become irregular….the message is loud and clear.
So really, if I wanted to ‘try’ again..it would be now….before things get even crazier biology wise.
But…
But…Scott has only been gone 8 months. If he had been been born in March, he would be a bouncing 5 month old.
That is NOT a lot of time. I am not ‘over it.’ Not by a long shot.
But the pressure is on.
I really should just throw in the towel now. I have two AMAZING kids. We have a good family.
Now we should just focusing on nurturing that family.
Really.
But it is so hard to let it all go…..
followthatdog says
I’m so sorry for your loss. I admire your ability to write about this. Biological clocks don’t have any senes of sympathy, do they?
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CharmingDriver says
Hugs.
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Erika Jurney says
xoxoxo
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Shannon says
I really can’t imagine having to deal with this kind of loss. And then feeling the pressure to make a decision on having another baby on top of that. That’s a hard thing. Strength and peace to you.
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Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah says
I’m sure whatever you decide will be right for you and your family.
I don’t know that you can ever completely get over a loss like yours, but you can move forward.
And it gets easier.
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VDog says
Hormones suck.
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VDog says
(And I’m SO SORRY)
(was trigger happy)
VDogs last blog post..Wordless Geek
sweetsalty kate says
It’s so hard to know what you’re actually feeling and what are reverberations of disaster… I know how this feels. I don’t know if I actually want a third child – or if I just want Liam. Now that he’s gone there is a hole in our family, our hearts opened (or at least mine) to consider one more baked potato in the oven, both in the literal and metaphorical sense.
…but I still don’t know. I’m not far behind you, and feel that pressure on the horizon, and can’t imagine what it would be like to go through another pregnancy.
In the absense of any answers, does it help at all to have someone else out here saying OMG TOTALLY…? I hope so.
xo
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MOobs says
There isn’t a right answer to this one. Your heart will get round to telling you what you want to know in its own time. Fingers crossed for you.
Kat says
So sorry to hear about you struggles. Sending love and hugs you way!!!