Working Girl. Again

I haven’t said too much online (didn’t want to jinx it), but when I said before that I wanted 2015 to be the year of change, I meant it.  I have been feeling very stuck and consequently I felt the family was too.  So on February 17th, I started back at a ‘real’ job.   It was almost too perfect in writing…..looking for a mix of admin and copy writing skills, part-time flexible hours and not far away.  So basically, I get to use all my wealth of old admin skills and my bloggy skills, get paid and work with grown ups all without having to worry about childcare!  There has been quite a bit of a leaning curve – 5 different website/softwares to learn on top off understanding retail and inventory and getting to know their products.  BUT.  I really like it.

I haven’t worked for other people or in an office environment since Adam was wee.  So we are looking at about 10 years of stay at homeness with a bit of freelancing mixed in there to keep the skills up.  I have been looking for the ‘right’ work for a while now and it was a long and tough slog.  I could feel myself being aged out of the positions I was interested in and also got tired of being told  I was over qualified or would be bored in the position. We won’t discuss the state of salaries in Vancouver either.  Especially compared to the cost of childcare.

While I have been brain-dead from all the extra ‘learning,’ these days and despite that and the nerves from being terrified of failing, of screwing up and so on, I am really enjoying working and working with and for other people.   The blog might be suffering a tad, but the routine is putting a bit more order into our family and I think that is good for all of us.

I will freely admit to be feeling a tad martyred a fair bit and have freely wallowed in self-pity mixed with a pinch of egoistic ‘nobody can manage things except me’ and a dash of ‘I don’t need any help.’  I don’t think this has made me an easy person to live with somedays.   I still have to keep extra organized and keep the family on their schedule, but truly being unavailable means I have to keep the lines of communication open with the whole family and I think that makes a bit of a difference.  Things that used to annoy the crap out of me are not bothering me as much……there are always other things to bug me 🙂

I also need to ask for help and am so very grateful for that help.  While it was great to find a job that fit into the kids hours, I still have to figure out all those pesky days off that kids get as well fitting in all the various appointments that human beings seem to need.

I haven’t felt like ‘me’ in a long time truth be told, but I think that this job is a way to help figure out who I am and what is important to me.  And not mom me or wife me…just me.

 

Nov 11, 2015.  So indeed I did jinx that position and they let me go shy of my three months.  I was devastated.  BUT.   I quickly pulled myself together and got looking again and connected with a woman I had interviewed with a while ago but was really not yet set up to be working away from the house and the kids.   I have been working for her since June and love it as it is in my field – social media and digital marketing – and I am loving learning SO much all the time.   I do love working outside of the house and I do know for sure that I need that sort of ‘escape’  to keep my brains intact.   The biggest struggle has been keeping up this poor blog!