My son will hate this post.
I am having a hard time with grade 6 so far. Okay. I am having a hard time with the creation of this boy who seems to be at the centre of the social swirl. I have hardly seen my son since school started.
At the moment, I think he is upstairs mad at me because we said NO to a sleepover plan that he and his pals had. Why did we say no? Many reasons, but the mainly because he was JUST AT ONE the night before. I think that is enough.
I have hardly seen him since he turned 11. The door knocks constantly with people looking for him. His Facebook page (yes I got him a page) is all about ‘hanging out’ with friends. When I arrive at school to pick up the kids, I am given a backpack and he is gone.
Being that ‘rainy season’ will, I am sure put the kibosh on many of his after school social activities, however, I am still filled with much discomfort about how much is too much for an 11 year old.
We don’t have our kids in many scheduled extra curricular activities, so play has always been important to me. HOWEVER he has been mingling with grade 7 kids….and GIRLS and there seems to be more ‘hanging’ than playing with this lot which has left his old summer crowd a bit crushed when they show up at the door with guns and other weapons ready for the next game of assassin or future terrorist or whatever they play.
This preteen thing hurts my soul.
It hurts because every single time I am with my son these days feels like me just ‘ruining’ his life. It is me saying no and him being pissed at me. I understand that I am not supposed to be my kids friend, but I would like ONE conversation with my boychild to not be an argument or discussion about why I am saying no to THIS sleepover or THAT afterschool plan or yes AGAIN this is why I am saying NO to GTA5 being playing in my house.
I wish I could raise my kids in a bubble. I really do. By that I mean where MY parenting is not being compared to OTHER kids parents rules and styles. I am tired of hearing that ‘so and so has GTA5’ or ‘so and so stays up late.’ How do I explain things like personal and family (husband and I) values. How do you teach a child who wants nothing more than to fit in with their friends, that being confident in your own individual values and opinions is in fact more important?
My kids are so different. Caitlyn has the individual thing down. She is totally confident in herself, but then also has less of a social life than her gregarious brother. He thrives in a crowd. Caity needs down time. Caity is more like me. I find Adam’s life to be absolutely EXHAUSTING. The phone ringing and door going is an assault on my introvert senses. The need to constantly justify my ‘no’ is exhausting to me.
His need for gratification from outside sources instead of within himself is perplexing to me. I am just not that type of person so finding ways to make him understand me without being totally pissed at me is not easy. Or me being pissed at him. Currently he is doing his best to show his utter displeasure at me for RUINING his weekend by ruining mine. He can’t. I spend the day at the walk-in clinic. Top that.
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