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Crunchy Carpets

Clean socks are a privilege, not a right

Is there such a thing as a Scottish Redneck?

February 20, 2009 by Kerry Sauriol Leave a Comment

I wasn’t going to participate in Better Than A Playdate’s loving ‘adoption’ shower for Tanis our beloved Redneck Mommy.

Not out of any lack of love for Tanis or for the crew behind the shower…but I was really feeling a bit stumped on the whole ‘redneck’ thing.

I am a city slicker.  Been so my whole life.   But then I also realized that while I carry my head held high and look down my pokey nose at all those around me…I realized that I have been immersed in the city version of ‘redneckness’ pretty much my whole life.

So really…I do know…and Tanis ain’t any of these…

After our family ‘came down in the world’ …this is in Scotland.  We ended up in what is called Council Housing.

And a blasted blight on the landscape this could not have more been.

Boarded up flats, overgrown ‘yards,’ burnt out cars, and unemployment a proud generational way of life.

It was weird if any of your family worked.

The elementary school that I was fortunate enough to NOT attend, resembled  a maximum security prison, with bars on the windows and razor wire around the playground.

The corner store was called the ‘Pakies’ no matter what the owners nation of origin was.

The busiest stores were the chippy and the pub.

The community centre was a portable hut in the big blasted field behind the flats….again with bars on windows and grafitti galore.

Children were generally unwashed.

Petty crimes went unnoticed.

Until said crimes were discovered when the flat went on fire due to the ‘nappies’ being dried around the fireplace.

That happened right below us one day.

Excitement at its peak.

Sadly, our move to Canada hasn’t seen TOO much of an improvement.

While Vancouver sure is pretty and we live in a pretty neighbourhood…it is low income housing.

It is a mix of single parents and mostly what you would categorize as ‘blue collar.’  Nuthin wrong with that, cept the stir caused if you buy a ‘too posh’ looking car …means you are either dealing with profits of crime or are just kidding yourself.

People here work hard for their money.

Bud is the drink here.

Baseball caps are the expected fashion.

You are required to either love sports, be involved in sports or have your kids in sports…and it better be  the ‘traditional’ CANADIAN sports of Hockey in the winter and Baseball in the summer.

Soccer is for weinies.

You shop for your family in Wal-Mar with pride.

Red Robin is fine dining.

You do not venture out of your neighbourhood further west than Main Street.  We keep clear of those west side folks.

You do not get above your station.

And you wiggle your muffin top in pride.

We..being non sporty, movie watching, net surfing geeks….do not fit in here.

Our kids do not fit in here.

And I have yet to meet ANYONE in our neighbourhood with a heart as large as Tanis’s.

She is all class in my books.

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Welcome to Crunchy Carpets. The House of Crunch is filled with kids (3), dogs (2) cats (3) and some lizards too. This blog is about trying to keep it all together and not lose my mind.Read More>

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