I hate parenting.
I mean…I hate the pain that it opens you up to….the worry, the anxiety, the fear…..you watch these little people growing up and you have to see them negotiate all the obstacles you did and you know you really can’t do much about it at all.
I just want to wrap up my boy and keep him close to me.
I don’t want him to suffer disappointments or defeats. I don’t want his rosey view of the world to be tarnished.
But it will and it is.
That is what growing up is all about.
So far, for me…Grade one has been agony. I have spent the last two days anxiously waiting to pick Adam up from school. I watch his face as he comes out of his class. He does not look happy.
He walks slowly.
Last year, in Kindergarten, he would run screaming from class, eyes shining and jump into my arms…ready for action.
Today, he was aloof. Happy to see me, but almost wary. Weary. At six.
Yesterday he was embarrassed about ‘something’ that he couldn’t do…he was very ashamed and so I won’t say what it was here.
But it made me so angry. For him. And that I wasn’t there. Oh the agony.
I don’t think the worry and anxiety will ever go away. You just want the best for your children. You want everyone else to see what YOU love about him.
The full days of Grade One don’t seem to bother him. He enjoys time for recess and lunch. I think it just feels too stressful…I think he too worries too much.
Last night he had crawled into bed with me. I didn’t hear him until he had fallen out and HIT HIS HEAD on the table beside the bed. What a goose egg he got. What a fright WE got.
He still had the lump today. Maybe that was why he was so listless today.
Probably not though. As he perked up playing at the playground with his sister and a two year old.
There I could see the happy crazy boy come back to life.
He is out side right now..doing what he loves best. Riding his bike and hanging with the OLDER boys.
Freedom for my little free spirit.
I guess you take the downside with the ups that parenting brings. All of those hugs and happy moments have a balance with the pain you get to feel for them.
I hope he’s ok. I hope he can do that thing he couldn’t do really soon.
Parenting is like being stuck in a roller coaster. It’s constantly filled with ups and downs. I hope his head feels better soon.
Shannanb aka Mommy Bitss last blog post..Sometimes You Just Can’t Stop Yourself From Yourself
I feel your pain — and I am only at the very beginning of letting my first born go off to face the world — alone…
keiki3s last blog post..wordless wednesday
Parenting is not easy, that I know!
Rauls last blog post..Latin music – Inolvidable by Reik
Socialization is soooo hard as a parent. My 3 year old told me today that a girl in pre-school had again told him he wasn’t strong. He wanted her to go to time out so he could be strong, and I talked with him about how he is strong no matter what anyone says–HE decides his own strength.
It is what I believe, but can I overcome his peers?
As it is said: to parent is to agree to have your heart held hostage.
corgimoms last blog post..Snapshots