Change

I really am not the person I used to be.

No..not transformed by being a mom etc…I just don’t have it together like  I used to.  And it bothers me.

I received an e-vite though urbanmoms.ca to attend a skin care product launch down at a big department store downtown.

The instructions WERE a bit vague..but I also didn’t clarify them like I should.  I didn’t RESEARCH it enough.

This is unusual for me.

I invited my mom to come with me.

We went early so we could have dinner and a blether.

And blether we did.  FOR A LONG TIME.

NO interruptions.  No topics off limits.  We just enjoyed each others company.

It was a real pleasure for me.

Then we went to find the ‘event’….it wasn’t where it should have been.  I could not think of where else it SHOULD have been.

We left.

I think we just looked in the wrong places.

I feel dumb.

But I wasn’t that disappointed.  I spent an evening with my mom.   With no time constraints and we were totally relaxed.

I suppose that was our Mother’s Day treat.

So.   I am not the same person I used to be.   I am way more flaky and forgetful.  I lose things.  I don’t plan things out like I did.

People look shocked at my mess up’s.

They expect more from me.

However.  I find that these ‘changes’ don’t really bother me as much as they should, or would have.

I am a lot more RELAXED about stuff than I used to be.  I don’t freak as much about everything being ‘just so.’

Crunchy Husband will laugh hilariously about this…but really…compared to ‘before’…I am waaay more relaxed about things.

Life changes us.

Ages changes us.

Circumstances change us.

That is cool.

*****

These amazing women started up this site  called glow in the woods.

It is for mom’s like me who have suffered a loss of a child one way or another.

It is a beautiful site.  Perfect in my eyes.

It feels safe and comfortable and  gentle.

It doesn’t overwhelm you with each other’s grief.   But the love and support that is felt there is like a warm hug.

Reading through the site and peoples posts and discussions was soothing to me.

I am in a good place these days and I want to build on that and create some sort of reserve of strength, calm and happiness.

I think that site will be a HUGE help to me.

****

I am also still twittering like mad.   Please find me so we can follow each other.

I have also noticed a growing increase in letters from PR companies wanting me to talk about their stuff on my sites.

Now…if a product or service is cool or useful,  I don’t mind doing this.  However, it IS free advertising and free flogging of something and I don’t really feel THAT generous all the time.  I also LOVE doing book reviews etc…Just have been a tad lazy lately.

So PR people…I know I am not one of the big guns out there..but please either offer to PAY me some sort of advertising fee OR offer some sort of special deal to my readers..SOMETHING.

‘Kay…that is all for now.