Scott came home today.
This is his little urn.
It was a tough thing to do. We had the kids with us. When Adam realized what was going on, he got very quiet.
Later, he brought over the little memory box we have and asked me to open it and show him all the bits and pieces.
It hasn’t really hit me yet. I am sure it will. Hopefully after the kids have gone to bed.
I was feeling really down this week after all the crazy Christmas stuff….but had managed to have a nice evening out with friends on Friday night. It had been really therapeutic for me. I needed to do something ‘normal.’
I had been okay till my mom had told me how sad she had been when faced with me and a friend’s pregnant daughter in the same room. It had hurt her then.
It hurt today when I was explaining to a neighbour about what had happened and her reaction to me bringing my baby home was ‘ewwww.’ I know she didn’t mean it as it sounded…..and I didn’t say anything……but well, you know.
So Christmas is over and life will trundle on.
The good thing is my best friend ever. She gave us a trip to Disneyland!!! I kid you not. She figured we need 2008 to be a lot happier than 2007 was. Bless her.
So…..onward I suppose.
Sending you hugs and understanding. I never got to hold my little guy or bring him home or even know what the hospital did with him… (My husband was in the Navy and we were at the Guantanamo Naval Base in Cuba – 1968)…
But I know he is in heaven and I will hold him in my arms one day. Until then, I hold him in my heart.
Bless you and may you feel a little more ‘normal’ as time goes on…
Kerry,
I wish that I could protect you from every thoughtless word that will hurt you in the coming time. Or from every sight you see that hurts your heart.
I think that is a beautiful place for your boy. In many ways I wish that I could still have my son here with me, in my house like that. I think I would find it very comforting.
All my good wishes and caring are with you tonight.
It is totally onward – but you can move forward while still trying to heal your heart. That will come in time – as much as it ever can, I imagine.
I think if it were me – I would have brought my baby home too. Might feel a bit better to still have him with you in that way.
Take care~
(((hugs))) Kerry… I’m so sorry. I popped in to see how you were doing and had no idea you’d lost the baby. I am so very sorry to hear of your loss.
More (((hugs))) and best wishes
I’m so sorry for the thoughtless words, Kerry.
I’m glad your son is home with family.
I’m so sorry you have to deal with this loss. There really are no words.
I wish you peace and joy for the new year. May you find an abundance of both.
I’m glad that he is home and near his mommy’s heart. I’m sorry your neighbor reacted in such a thoughtless and crass way. I think about you daily and pray for healing in your hearts.
My thoughts and prayers are with you !!
Wow, I just found this blog and have been catching up with everything you’ve been through.
My sincere condolences…
My father, born on Christmas Day, died this Christmas Day. What are the odds on that?
Hang in there and have a better 2008.
so sorry Kerry, the urn is beautiful and while it’s a sad reminder of what could have been, I’m glad he’s finally home with his mommy and family!
I’m so glad you and the kids came out and hung with us all…..we’ll have to host you and the family here at our place soon….tell Pat and Caity to bring their guitars!!! 🙂
I have just recently started reading your blog, my heart goes out to you ~ I cannot imagine. (((HUGS)))
I don’t have words for you, Kerry only hugs from one friend (and mother) to another. I sit silently listening to your tears fall…adding to them my own.
My thoughts continue to be with you and your family and I wish you a wonderful new year!
I’m happy you have something DIFFERENT (Disney-thats AWESOME) to look forward to this 2008. I hope you all have a wonderful time. Still, hugs for you and your family Kerry.
You have a very good friend indeed who can see your family’s need to get away together for a bit, and the means to make it happen.
Hugs for all of you, and the gift of patience and hope.
Kerry,
So so so very sorry to hear what you’re going through. My heart aches for you and your husband. Take care of yourself.
Jenny
I am so very sorry. My heart aches just thinking of having to bring that little box home.