So while I am a walking zombie these days….life does go on.  Especially for the kids.
Nana and I took the kids to a ‘Breakfast with Santa’ at the local community centre. Â They had a good time.
Face Painting
And clown magic…..
Santa was played again by the creepy guy who looks after the centre’s fish. Â But everyone had fun and everyone more or less behaved.
I survived that better than Caity’s preschool Christmas party. That was hard. Too many pregnant woman and babies.
I am trying to keep busy. I feel the black tidal wave of despair hanging behind me all day long.  I stay just ahead of the worst.
Having another cold doesn’t help.
But the house is all decorated and the kids are excited. Â We will get through.
We probably won’t get autopsy results till the new year. My ob/gyn wants to see me in 6 weeks to put me through a series of tests to see if there was anything in ME that caused it.
My regular GP just called and now HE wants to see me on Friday. He got the stuff from my trip to the ER, so I guess I will share all my sorry adventures with him.
I SHOULD also fit in seeing the therapist. But when? Not the right time of year for all this.
It always seemed so weird and wrong that the world kept turning when we’d had this horrible loss.
I am sorry that on top of your grief you have to go through all of these medical things. All the hoops that you have to jump through while you’re trying to figure everything out and grieve. I hope that the test on you turns out ok.
There is never a right time to lose a child. I hope the Drs can give you some answers but please, yes yes yes yes, get some help. The sooner the better, trust me on this.
God that sounds so rough, but I am glad you all have strength in you to get up and go through what you need to, for the kids.
I hope too that you and hubby can find some YOU time to grieve and later start to heal… I know you are grieving all the time, and I would be too… so just accept my cyber hugs and continued sympathy.
It is always the right time of the year to take of yourself. See that therapist, if you do nothing else. Staying busy will only last for so long.
You are in my thoughts.
Concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other. Do that all the way to a therapist. I promise you, on all that is holy and good, it will help.
Hang tough. You’re in my thoughts.
Hang in there, kiddo. Allow yourself time to see a therapist or whatever you need to help yourself during this tough time. Sending you healing energies and many prayers…
Hang in there. You will make it. HUGS
Hugs.