I have to confess…I am really not liking doing daycare for my neighbours kids.
Even with feeling better now into my 2nd trimester. Â I just don’t have the interest.
My focus has turned inward. To me. To the baby. To my family.
It is not like they are difficult children.  It is not like I get lots of help in return. She takes Adam to school most mornings. She also lets my kids come over when she comes home to continue to play with her kids. So I get a good thing out of it.
It is also only four days a week.
But I am exhausted by the end of those days. I am exhausted by the noise and the endless bickering and the mess and the whole ra ra needed to keep everyone happy for one effing afternoon.
I am not one for planning arts and crafts…can’t really….the only space for art is the table. It is right beside where CH is trying to work. The noise level is intolerable for him. Lunch is bad enough.  He is also very busy.
I am not getting any of my own stuff done.
Basic housekeeping sucks and I have so many other projects that need my focus….and they are not.
The parent/neighbour is already a bit cheesed at me because I have expressed concern about the transporting of her youngest to preschool two days a week….it just means more upheaval in day and disrupting 3 other kids for a two hour session of what? Socializing??? Isn’t he doing that already?  It doesn’t even coincide with when my daughter goes to school.
I am also about to ask her to plan on alternate care when the baby is born. I don’t want my mom or crunchy husband to be worrying about someone else’s kids when they should be focused on our kids and the new arrival.
Perhaps this will cheese her off enough to go find someone else. Though where she would find a cheaper deal, I don’t know.
Kindergarten has been a drag enough. While I am delighted that Adam seems to be enjoying it….CH and I are totally out of practice with the whole ‘five days a week routine’ thing.
I haven’t had a full time job since before Adam was born. Â CH has worked at home and for himself for almost 8 years now. Â Â I HATE waking everyone up in the wet dark gloom of winter.
And if it was just MY kids to deal with, I could take the car from time to time. As it is….there is a lot of walking…which is good exercise… but I don’t want to HAVE to walk everyday…specially when the weather sucks.  I like to have the option.
I would like to be able to do my errands, and cleaning and family stuff.  I would like to not be a zombie with a trashed house by Friday.  It will be bed enough with three of my own kids I am sure. But it will be my OWN mess.
I am, by nature, an insular person……and probably quite selfish and lazy I am sure. I am not a kid person really. I LOVE my kids. I love doing stuff with MY kids….other kids…..not so much.
So I am a bad neighbour. Â Â Bad stay at home mom.
Can we just move away? In the night?
I think you are being too hard on yourself here. You have to take care of yourself before you can do the same for others. Maybe you should stop watching the neighbor’s kids.
Operative words here? “Neighbors kids”. They don’t belong to you. If financially you don’t need to do it, stop. I mean, give her notice of course so she can find alternative care, but stop. Don’t make your pregnant self unhappy with doing something you don’t want to. Or … let her know know that the jig is up when the new baby is here. For good. Gotta do for your own first, and not feel guilty about it. You can be a good neighbor and a good friend without watching her kids for her 4 days a week. Really.
I think it’s pretty normal for women to turn inwards during pregnancy and to want to focus on their own families.
I second what BetteJo said. Let her know that once new baby is here, or even slightly before that happens, you’re done.
I think Summer is right because I was the same way especially with my second child. It’s completely normal.
Agree with everyone here. From what you describe there isn’t much positive going on except a bit of cash flow (and I’m not one who values cash all that highly).
I would give her notice that at December holidays you are done, if that works for you, and keep that final trimester for you and your family. If you tell her soon, she has months to find a replacement.
I think it takes a lot of courage to tell the neighbor about your reservations when day-caring for her children. If she doesn’t appreciate your honesty, that is her problem. You have to take care of yourself and your family first.
We ought to all look after our self slightly more, your posting simply emphasises the fact.