We actually had a pretty nice family day at the House of Crunch. But we are paying for it. Well, poor Crunchy Husband is.
As I was getting ready to go and get Adam at preschool, CH announced that his computer had just died. So he rushed off to the Computer Doctor and Caity and I headed out to get Adam with a detour to see our pharmacist to sign our passport documents. Well, the kids and MY documents. CH never DID get around to finishing his up.
I was already feeling good because I had managed to wash the kitchen floor, book a HAIR APPOINTMENT and arrange for copies of Caity’s vaccination schedule for her preschool registration.
We played for an hour at the playground beside the school and ambled home for some lunch.
CH was at loose ends because of not having his computer or the ability to access much without all the passwords.
So he played with his kids instead.
The kids were happy and CH had abandoned himself to his fate. He is a terrible worrier and it was great to see him just not WORRY and go have fun.
Yesterday his brother had phoned and guilted him about not seeing his mom EVERY DAY at the hospital and not staying EVERY NIGHT at their grandmothers. So they got into a big fight.  But he realizes he can’t change them…that there really isn’t much he CAN do but live his life and not get caught up in all the drama.
Good for him.
He is now at the computer store working with the guy in getting his baby back up and running.
Fingers crossed.
I just finished reading Zen Shorts to Adam in his bed and he is SUPPOSED to be “reading,” but there is a lot of banging and crashing going on from his room. If he wakes his sister, I will kill him.
SHE- the amazing go to bed without a fuss baby has started making a fuss and campaigns for mommy or daddy to lay down with her.  Smart little thing.
While we were brushing our teeth this morning, she pointed out that she and I were both girls, while Adam was a boy. Oh, and I am pretty too! Hee.
And I haven’t lost my temper with the kids at all…so today I must be a good parent right?
There is talk all over the place about how we don’t give ourselves enough credit as parents and that the self deprecation is easier than patting ourselves on the back.
But you know what? I really don’t think I AM a good parent.
I KNOW I could do a lot better. Be a lot less selfish. Be more patient. Try new approaches to things instead of just getting angry. Fob them off less when I am just craving some peace. NOT snap at them.
And sure I could blame my battle with whatever sort of depression I have. And yes, it CAN be a struggle….but I am also smart enough to know how NOT to talk to a child.
How to NOT act childish myself.
Do people make resolutions for Mothers Day? If so, mine is to just try more. To not sweat the small stuff and work WITH my kids instead of against them. To come up with better and kinder and more intelligent ways of dealing with bad behavior and so on.
On Thursday I am meeting with a pediatrician who deals with children’s behavior issues.  I hope she can help ME more than she can help Adam.  He is just mirroring all my rage and frustrations. Not his. Poor kid.
I aim to do better for him. I want to be a good memory for him when he is all grown up. I don’t want to be baggage.
I am sure tomorrow will bring new ups and downs and CH will find out if anyone is really pissed at him or not.
What can you do?
I think you are a good parent because you want to be a better one. But don’t be too hard on yourself you are only human.
crunchy, you are a good mom! i don’t do half the things wtih my kids that you do with yours!
Oh CC. Shut it.
You are a very good parent. It’s like Churchill says about democracy … it’s the worst system, you know.. except for all the others.
You are a good parent… because you can see that you can always be better.
You are a good parent. I think that’s the point – the fact that you do care about being a good parent and want to always do better for your kids makes you a good parent. You’re not beating them or neglecting them, right? OK then, you’re a good parent. No one is perfect.
It’s always a comfort to me to have such good company in working towards better parenting–thanks, CC. My kid’s latest bedtime ploy is to wait 15 minutes after lights out then plaintively say, “I need a cuddle, please.” Hard to resist, but we do.
I feel the same way you do. You are not alone! I hadn’t put anything on my blog about this for that reason.
I think you sound like the average parent, or above average because you care. If you didn’t care you wouldn’t write what you just have right? I would say that if anyone looks perfect from the outside in regards to their parenting, they are not.
We all go through periods of self-doubt, you’re not alone.