The ever awesome Crank Mama (and self proclaimed apologist for Babble) had the opportunity interview James Poniewozik, author of that ‘Too Cool for Preschool’ bit that got everyone so lathered up.
I totally agree that he is making sweeping and opinionated statements. I do think that he is touching on some truisms though. That there is people who are more ‘image’ conscious than others is true. This, however, does not make them worse at parenting than any other ‘group.’ That magazines like Babble, while fun, do or did make a point of clearly defining WHO they thought would be their readers vs. those who would NOT fit the bill. Like it or not, the magazine and those who are part of it felt the need to define themselves as a ‘type’ and different from other parent types out there.
They are as guilty of being judgmental as those they defend themselves to.
But not all parental bloggers are ‘hipsters.’ Parental bloggers come from all walks of life and values and cultures and are suburban and urban and young and old.
The assumption that a blogging parent is not spending enough time with their kids is unfair and untrue and no doubt only arises from people that don’t blog or didn’t have such inventions when they were parenting.
Do we say this of full time working parents? We shouldn’t.
The assumption also doesn’t recognize the vast and varied ways that people make money nowadays. We ain’t all schlepping to the office for a nine to five. More and more people are self employed. More and more people work from home. More and more people work part time or do contract work and so on.
Our allotment of ‘spare’ time is different now. And so is what we do with that time. Technology has offered a lot of ‘gifts’ for us to fill our time.
And while blogging might be considered ‘navel gazing’ for some…fine, so what? Should we be sitting in front of the tv instead? At least blogging allows discussion and support and debate. It at least allows people to read and meet all kinds of bloggers out in the big world.
Parenting and what it does to us mentally and physically is fascinating for us. It makes us think. And blogging allows us to share those thoughts – boring or not.
But like the real world. We are not all the same. So there will be judgment and cliquish attitudes and snobbery and so on. We don’t all suddenly become parental robots all following the same path at the birth of our children.
And reading blogs has also shown that we don’t stop being us just because we became parents. For some this is a bit of a shock. Especially when our assumptions about parenting fall back on more “traditional’ times. We are NOT our parents. That is very true. I was at a book reading last night and the main theme was how the past
always influences the present and he (Guy Gavriel Kay) said that:
“I think we live in a dangerously ahistorical society. I think there
are reasons for that. The speed of change can lead you to the illusion
that it’s what’s coming forward that you need to focus on. You need to
learn how to deal with YouTube; you don’t actually need to learn how to
deal with World War II.…The absence of awareness of the past is
pervasive in our education system and in our mindset, in our
world-view.â€
I think that blogging for a lot of us is a way for us to hold onto the present as it rapidly vanishes into the past in a society that is rushing into the future at a breakneck speed.
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Like you said, blogging is simply a reflection of the real world. There are cliques and judgements and different parenting styles in blogging as there are in real life. You can’t lump all parent bloggers into one category, other than parent bloggers. (and even some parent bloggers have problems with that label)
And I totally think this would have been a huge uproar if he had written about working parents thinking too much of themselves and not spending enough time with their kids. But bloggers are an easy target right now, since for many, it is seen as nothing more than a vain hobby. But some bloggers are making their money from this, too.
Great post. There’s so much to think about in it.
“I think that blogging for a lot of us is a way for us to hold onto the present as it rapidly vanishes into the past in a society that is rushing into the future at a breakneck speed.”
Beautifully said!
So many good points, Crunch, thanks for blogging no matter how anyone else characterizes the use of your time. I’m self-employed and spending the day with my son with the exception of one brief client meeting which he will attend with me (client knows and is fine with that). Not the sort of part-work-but-mostly-fun kind of day my parents would ever have dreamed of.
May I make your concluding sentence my e-mail signature for a few weeks?
Thanks cronz…
and yes go ahead!
*applause* great post Crunchy
“Parenting and what it does to us mentally and physically is fascinating for us. It makes us think. And blogging allows us to share those thoughts – boring or not.”
I completely agree, and good point that blogging parents are easy targets, albeit unfair ones.
I am self-employed and choose to spend some of my free time writing. I’m sure other people make similar or different choices.
As far as the Time controversy…
I used to read some self-proclaimed hipster blogging parents. In truth, I didn’t see too much difference between us, but after a while, I quit reading them.
I became bored with the constant obsession with throwing in “hipness” to what was really a universal parent truism…often written really well, and not needing the chorus, “How cool I am.”
But, more pettily, I became bored with feeling sharp pings of offendedness as too often, I recognized myself in the judgmental descriptions of the “unhip parent” who was “a slave to tradition” and unworthy of association…
Really, don’t be fooled by my Gap attire. Underneath is an anarchist. 😉
“But, more pettily, I became bored with feeling sharp pings of offendedness as too often, I recognized myself in the judgmental descriptions of the “unhip parent†who was “a slave to tradition†and unworthy of association…
Really, don’t be fooled by my Gap attire. Underneath is an anarchist. ”
Me too Julie, Me too….
I get fed up reading blogs and thinking ‘hey! I resemble that snotty remark!’
I feel like I should have a shirt saying ‘I was a goth once!’
I should have photos of my past attempts at coolness on the blog to prove how un-tradtional and un nerdy I am….eh who am I kidding!
Written as I sit here in my Old Navy yoga pants….never used for yoga.
“I think that blogging for a lot of us is a way for us to hold onto the present as it rapidly vanishes into the past in a society that is rushing into the future at a breakneck speed.”
Everyone in every category should have the opportunity to blog about whatever they choose /to talk about/.
Keep up the great work!
I am from the “boomer” generation and haven’t quite got used to waiting for a reply to any comment I have to make on a subject I (usually) know something about.
I don’t agree with Carl who claims that “Everyone in every category should have the opportunity to blog about whatever they choose /to talk about/.”
This potentially places a very low value on information, i.e. information -> blogging -> noise -> not much value in the information.
Babies make a lot of noise when they “talk” about whatever they like whenever they like, but in my experience not many people enjoy putting up with a noisy baby.
By all means, we should “blog wherever on whatever”, but we owe it to our fellow intelligent humans to ensure that our blogs include at least some amount of real value.