So my kids don’t sleep.
Adam is a night owl. Like his dad. Would MUCH prefer staying up all night long.
Both are BEARS then to get up early in the morning…THOUGH the both seem to have internal clocks that still wake them around 7:30 no matter HOW late they were up.
This can make for really grouchy kids.
Tara sleeps…but only in two hour increments. We have had the odd three and four hour miracle..but not much. She is successfully following along in the tradition of being a total pain when it comes to bed time.
What I find interesting is my perception of this….how I deal with it with each subsequent child.
Adam was our first! Our little prince among princes. We jumped and gasped and worried at every hitch in his breathe…not a cry was allowed to pass his dainty lips.
Daddy dutifully walked him to sleep every night when we found that only that would do.
This was after stretches in swings, the stroller and the car.
We read every book on sleep and baby behavior religiously.
Caitlyn didn’t want to sleep either. Only the bouncy seat ON, sitting on the dryer ON would work for any stretch.
She also wouldn’t be put down…ever. She lived on me. Or the vibrating bouncy seat.
I would sit up at night rocking her into the wee small hours. Thank God for our large DVD collection.
We tried it all. The cereal in the bottles. Huge feeds before bedtime. Soothing baths…..swaddling, unswaddling, co sleeping, alone sleeping…you name it, we have probably tried it.
When we started to get really squirrely we thought we might try that ‘sleep training’ thing they were all talking about.
I seem to recall sitting outside her door, the both of us in TEARS listening to her crying…I think she cried for maybe 5 minutes. Ever.
This probably explains why my first children seem to have such huge cases of self entitlement.
Tara is getting a slightly different experience.
Not that she isn’t fussed and coddled over any less. Probably MORE with her doting siblings.
But while she is another non sleeper…she has her own style and pattern different again from the first two.
She isn’t one for being held and does not often now fall asleep in your arms. At 6.5 months she is pretty programmed at falling asleep in either the crib, the bassinet or the car seat.
I can count on one hand the times she has fallen asleep in the stroller. The outside world is WAAAY too exciting for our little T.
So with T, I do a little snuggle and a feed and then bundle her up in the crib. Give her a little bit more of her bottle and then walk away with just some lullabies playing for her….or the radio. That works too.
She does cry. But it no longer stabs me in the heart. And I can tell the cry of really needing mommy and I will come rushing.
So she fusses a bit and falls asleep on her own and she seems to like it that way.
Am I a bad mom for this? I am sure some will say so. But she is happy when I put her down and happy when I go into see her.
Has parenting three kids through sleepless nights hardened my heart? Maybe just a tad. I can walk away in the middle of the night and be more focused on finding some blessed sleep instead of wringing my hands in anguish and guilt over her cries.
Is it because I am older? Not wiser for sure….
I don’t feel cruel. I adore Tara. We feel so blessed by her presence. She is a happy exuberant baby and we all feed on her joy.
She just doesn’t sleep enough. My instincts tell me to just go with what works for now..and try try try to convince her that more than two hours would be a FABULOUS idea!
Mommy is losing her mind.
CrAzY Working Mom says
OMG! I am so relieved to know that I am not the only one. Shelby, my oldest (7yrs) sleeps well. She goes to bed without a fuss and wakes up just the same. Tyler and Emily both wake in the night frequently. Most nights they stumble into our bed and it’s so tiring, but much easier to just let them in. *sigh* But, even though it’s a King sized bed. It’s just not made for four people when two of them love to turn sideways and kick the devil out of you. *yawn* Some day there will be sleep…some day. Here’s hoping Tara gets that sleeping thing down real soon. 🙂
.-= CrAzY Working Mom´s last blog ..9 Year Old Girl Gives Birth =-.
Carrie says
My first was definitely given way more attention sleep wise. She HAD to be rocked/bounced/nursed/sung/read to sleep, no ifs ands or buts about it. We could not leave her room until she was OUT. THANKFULLY once she hit around 2 years old or so she cahnged into a champion sleeper. She will fall asleep on her own and when she is out, she is OUT.
The second wasn’t given as much. Yes, she was rocked/cuddled/nursed to sleep. Yes, I co-slept for about 6 months BUT once she got into the routine of the crib she now can be put to bed awake and she will either go to sleep or chat with hertoys before falling asleep on her own. It’s heaven. She does still periodically wake and sometimes I have to go in to soothe her but generally she’s a good sleeper.
I hope that Tara settles down to be a good sleeper for you. Sounds like you need it 🙂
.-= Carrie´s last blog ..How do you Roll? =-.
Marilyn says
I only have the two kids but the story is similar. With K I read every book and forum out there on getting a kid to sleep. It was an obsession. After going insane I did actually do sleep training and it did work for K…sort of…he’s still a really bad sleeper. I think it’s his nature.
My son is so non-stop active that I didn’t have the time to spend rocking my daughter to sleep so she just got put down in her crib while I went to corral her brother. She had to learn how to sleep on her own and it has actually worked out that she’s a better sleeper than her brother…although she will never ever ever sleep anywhere else but her own crib.
It sounds like your family are all live-wires when it comes to sleeping. I hope it settles soon.
.-= Marilyn´s last blog ..What I Learned: Costco Shopping Trip =-.
Nicole says
We let the Poptart set the schedule – it seemed the easiest and the best way for her to figure out how to sleep. At 8.5 months I still nurse/snuggle her to sleep, but I expect she’ll figure it out eventually.
Tia The Hissing Goose says
Your pain? I feel it. Neither one of my children is a good sleeper. Or even a decent sleeper. Both of them sleep in 2 – 4 hour blocks, and when they wake up, they cry and whine. There has never, ever been any “self-soothing” in these here parts. Nope.
One assumes that this spotty and intermittent sleep crap rectifies itself when your kids, you know, get older and shit. Ha! My big kid is FIVE and still doesn’t sleep through the night. My three year old is slightly better, but not much.
I’ve kind of gotten used to never, ever, ever sleeping. Ever. Did I mention it’s been 5 years since I’ve slept? Yeah.
We should look into bulk buying discounts at the straight jacket emporium.