Sigh..the summer hath beguneth.
And I KNEW this would happen….but I did good and stayed out and let diplomatic boy deal.
Backstory….and if you ARE a neighbour reading my site..HI! You won’t like this.
Let me just say, that we are lucky where we live. The area is beautiful and it is a lovely town house complex. It is also what they call ‘affordable housing.’ We have a great deal of single parents, and blue collar folks around here…it is a working family neighbourhood.
My mom lived here with me when we came to Canada. When CH and I realized we needed more space for our burgeoning family and didn’t have the cash for a house…THIS is where we ended up.
The schools are good and there are lots of parks and trees. We live in a three bedroom townhome with a front and back patio for the price of a basement apartment. Not to mention living in non thru traffic environments..heaven for kids on bikes, etc.
ANYWAY.
I am not a social person. I don’t get along with most people… I am awkward that way. I find it extremely hard to get along with people who are in your face about their TOTAL lack of respect for others and the environment……I hate trailer trash is what I am trying to say nicely.
To get away from the story AGAIN….when mom and I ‘came down in the world’ we ended up in a horrendous part of Edinburgh in what they call ‘Council’ housing.
I am not exaggerating. Photos found at the EdinPhoto site.
Mom was called ‘The Duchess’ by the neighbours.
It is much the same here..though the people around here are NICE and mostly normal folks.
They think we are weird. They can’t figure out what the husband does for a living and think I am some sort of snob. We don’t listen to the same sort of music, we aren’t into sports and we don’t drive the same sort of vehicle.
In the summer…and most of the year, I am out with my kids to play. I am more than happy for my kids to play with the neighbour kids and we have always worked on that, despite our crew being the youngest.
For the most part that has been fine.
I will be friendly with anyone for the sake of the kids. I want my kids to have fun.
This doesn’t seem to be working so much now.
Last summer our fairly NEW neighbour…who we were happy to find out had kids the same ages as ours – asked me to do some daycare.
Despite my reservations I said yes. I needed the money. I however did not reckon on getting pregnant.
It made it hard.
Then I lost Scott.
By Christmas I had decided to pack it in….I felt too used anyway…..and also knew I wasn’t cut out for the childcare thing.
I was totally fine about sticking it out until she found an alternative. I liked the kids…still do..but just was really keen on getting some rest.
She asked OTHER neighbours of ours. This neighbour already does childcare…she is a pro.
She said yes. They were both happy. I was relieved and that was that.
I just chuckled because these new ‘business’ partners were now BEST OF FRIENDS..despite the AMAZING amount of gossip and trash talking that had gone on with them about each other.
AMAZING amount of gossip.
Then I noticed that I was suddenly person non grata. NEITHER could barely say hello to me. They still can’t.
NOW the kids … the older one’s anyway…are avoiding talking to MY kids.
I had ONE altercation with my neighbour and former ‘client’ when her boyfriends dog was overly aggressive with mine. IT IS A BIG DOG.
Other than that…I have tried to make sure our kids were playing…let them in the house to play, etc.
Her ex used to drive my son to school. I used to take the younger one to preschool when I could. He was told NOT to by the neighbour. No biggie as I was dealing with my own kids and schedule anyway…but still.
I also have no time for all this.
It just annoys me.
Yesterday my son ‘tried’ to play with the other kids…they brushed him off.
He tried to act like he didn’t mind…but he did. He was crushed.
Today he and Caity tried again to go play…mainly with this other OLDER boy…but the other kids were there too.
It quickly turned into a ‘don’t play with Adam’ thing…fights ensued.
CH intervened and the parents came together to clear it up.
The dads cleared it up…not the gossipers.
But I can see what a FUN summer it will be for us here. Us outside play RIGHT BESIDE these people while we all…what…ignore each other.
Nothing angers me more than my child being hurt.
He is no angel. But he IS only six.
This is the part of parenting I really really hate.
My kids are destined to be different. Their parents are different. We didn’t fit in with the ‘norm’ either and now neither will my kids.
I just have to make sure they have the strength to not give a fuck is all.
Let the Summer Games Begin
claudia says
I hear you… I was just about to blog on a branch of this topic: I too am uncomfy with other moms, or families, but I will always be as kind as can be with their kids.
NOW I am going with dh to see blue rodeo at malken bowl in August… with another mom whose son was in kinder with him…
It is nice and all, but I feel weird about doing something soo…social.
Maybe its my own anxieties, but I totally GET what you are talking about re: the neighbors and the “everybodys business” is all fair game. NO it’s not. Im sorry it will most likely be harder for your kids to have to deal with not playing with the other kids, it’s not fair, and it shouldn’t have to be that way.
Sigh.
Signed, fellow odd woman out.
claudias last blog post..School’s out for summer
mo-wo says
sucks. I am struggling a bit with our return to the neighbourhood daycares. Oh man, do I have to deal with these people again?? I guess it’s a case of sooner rather than later.
The the social engineering of family making. An area I would sure take a pass on if I could.
mo-wos last blog post..The People’s Affront or .. Irk me Granville Street
Lisa says
how sad…..I hate it when parents (moms) get catty and high schoolish. That sort of thing often happens when you get a couple or a group of people with (how do I put it nicely?) lower than average intelligence, drive, ambition or social awareness.
I see a lot of that behavior in my sister’s area of lower income families. We love our neighborhors, we generally all get along, and oddly enough, the majority of us are self-employed or have been at one time or another…….something to contemplate.
Lisas last blog post..Canada Day!
CrAzY Working Mom says
Uh-oh, it’s going to be a long summer right?!
Kat says
I feel you…oh do I feel you. I too am the odd one on the neighborhood. I am different and not Barbie like. It sucks when the kids are mean to your kids because their parents fill their heads with things that don’t need to be there. Keep being you, that is all you can do. Oh, and smile, and maybe have a nice beverage!
Loralee says
I loathe getting to know my neighbors. You are a great mom to attempt it for your kids sake. The other mothers have way too much drama to remain close knit for long. Trust me.
Loralees last blog post..Kind of like Post Secret except you won’t have to make a card or spend money on a stamp. (And obviously, it’s not NEARLY as cool and awesome)
carol browne says
I feel the same way with the whole neighbour thing and we don’t have any kids. Putting up with that would be rotten. Hopefully some other blogger people will move in to the complex so your kids will be the cool kids to hang out with…not to mention the parents.
Christina says
Ugh, that sucks. I hate mean neighbors, and I’ve had my share of them. We’re happy that we’re spending our first summer without the neighbors from hell, thanks to their foreclosure.
I hope they stop being asshats, and that you can have a better summer.
Christinas last blog post..Faceoff