I really am not the person I used to be.
No..not transformed by being a mom etc…I just don’t have it together like I used to. And it bothers me.
I received an e-vite though urbanmoms.ca to attend a skin care product launch down at a big department store downtown.
The instructions WERE a bit vague..but I also didn’t clarify them like I should. I didn’t RESEARCH it enough.
This is unusual for me.
I invited my mom to come with me.
We went early so we could have dinner and a blether.
And blether we did. FOR A LONG TIME.
NO interruptions. No topics off limits. We just enjoyed each others company.
It was a real pleasure for me.
Then we went to find the ‘event’….it wasn’t where it should have been. I could not think of where else it SHOULD have been.
We left.
I think we just looked in the wrong places.
I feel dumb.
But I wasn’t that disappointed. I spent an evening with my mom. With no time constraints and we were totally relaxed.
I suppose that was our Mother’s Day treat.
So. I am not the same person I used to be. I am way more flaky and forgetful. I lose things. I don’t plan things out like I did.
People look shocked at my mess up’s.
They expect more from me.
However. I find that these ‘changes’ don’t really bother me as much as they should, or would have.
I am a lot more RELAXED about stuff than I used to be. I don’t freak as much about everything being ‘just so.’
Crunchy Husband will laugh hilariously about this…but really…compared to ‘before’…I am waaay more relaxed about things.
Life changes us.
Ages changes us.
Circumstances change us.
That is cool.
*****
These amazing women started up this site called glow in the woods.
It is for mom’s like me who have suffered a loss of a child one way or another.
It is a beautiful site. Perfect in my eyes.
It feels safe and comfortable and gentle.
It doesn’t overwhelm you with each other’s grief. But the love and support that is felt there is like a warm hug.
Reading through the site and peoples posts and discussions was soothing to me.
I am in a good place these days and I want to build on that and create some sort of reserve of strength, calm and happiness.
I think that site will be a HUGE help to me.
****
I am also still twittering like mad. Please find me so we can follow each other.
I have also noticed a growing increase in letters from PR companies wanting me to talk about their stuff on my sites.
Now…if a product or service is cool or useful, I don’t mind doing this. However, it IS free advertising and free flogging of something and I don’t really feel THAT generous all the time. I also LOVE doing book reviews etc…Just have been a tad lazy lately.
So PR people…I know I am not one of the big guns out there..but please either offer to PAY me some sort of advertising fee OR offer some sort of special deal to my readers..SOMETHING.
‘Kay…that is all for now.
sweetsalty kate says
I’m so glad you’re finding glow in the woods to be a welcoming place. And it gives me a great feeling to know that you see it as being about more than babygrief – especially as we continue to grow and cover new territory, we’re all hoping it can be more about living, rebuilding, hoping again. Honouring our babies too but learning how to hold them in-heart as we walk forward.
We’re so grateful to have your voice there too.
sweetsalty kates last blog post..nocturnal
Loralee says
I just heard about glow in the woods at mothergoosemouse today. I had no idea what it was about, but it sounds like a good resource.
Loralees last blog post..At what point do you pick up the phone to report bad behavior to the parents of a child?
MOobs says
There was a time when my idea of a perfect afternoon was being caught in a sauna with Charlie’s Angels. Now a good cup of tea and a blether seems the very best of times.
MOobss last blog post..Tenuous Connections 2008
SmalltownRN says
Well Happy Mother’s Day to you….I am glad you were able to spend some valuable time with your mom…..also the change….yes my daughters say I have changed…I am not so “up tight” about things and because of that they say they feel more comfortable sharing things with me….so change is good I guess….here’s hoping you have a fantastic day!!!
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