Have Skylanders Invaded YOUR Home Yet?

January 8, 2013 by Leave a Comment

Christmas money or gift cards do not last long in the hands of my children.  Therefore when my son was gnashing over being BANNED from the Xbox due to ongoing jackassery, Caitlyn seized her opportunity and rushed out to buy Skylanders Giants.    She was in heaven having a game that came with so much ‘stuff’ that HE did not have any control over.   She was in her glory.

From Skylanders Site

 

Skylanders is more than a game you see.   It is a collectable.   Skylanders and Skylanders: Giants are the newest offshoot from the old Spyro the Dragon games that were designed for the Sony Playstation.  What makes Skylanders so appealing to kids is that in order to play this cross platform world, you have to collect the characters that you ‘activate’ on a portal.

characters available at Toysrus

 

Your characters progress is saved within the figure themselves.  Thus you can take your figures to play on your friends console without losing your game progress.   The starter kit (including game) is about $70 and the figures are about $12 to $15 each, so the set up is not crazy expensive.  Caity managed to find the starter kit for Xbox on sale and there has been much researching and discussions about which characters to invest in next.

I am always happy to find games that appeal to boys AND girls.  The Lego games have been great for that, Caity LOVES the Batman Lego game, but it is nice to see a game that siblings can both play and collect without the gameplay favouring one gender over another.  I have to admit to being impressed that my Call of Duty loving boy actually likes this game.  He has purported to play it long before this with his friends, but he seems happy that Caity is willing to share the game with him….when he is allowed to play.

Which Leads To…

In this day and age, video games seem to be the only bargaining chip left to parents when it comes to working with kids on things like responsibility and sharing.  I realize that blackmail is not an approved form of parenting, but the reality of it is, it works.   Taking the Xbox away from Adam is pretty much the only thing that can get his attention.   It is a HUGE deal to him, not just for the games but for his communication and standing with his friends who he plays with online.  Being unable to communicate with them on Xbox live is his equivalent to owning a smartphone and texting his pals.

I will admit that my kids tend to spend too much time with the glare of a screen on their faces.  I only assuage my guilt with the fact that they will also happily play outside for hours on end when weather allows, and that my son found solace in his vast Lego collection when deprived of the Xbox.    Not to mention that they are both great readers.

Punishment has to teach in my opinion though so I wanted to make sure that his time away from the system was spent with some discussion about how we could make the future Xbox time work better for all the family.   I have tried to encourage him to make suggestions about fairness for all involved when it comes to video game time and let him work on what sort of rules should revolve around the Xbox.

This time around I am happy to see that he is truly thinking things through instead of just simmering in anger.  We have discussed rules around homework and sharing the system and what would be fair to all involved (including dad).   I think the more he sees that there is dialogue and that his opinion is valued when it comes to his precious video game platform and that the rules apply to his sister too, that we will slowly have more peace in our household.

Famous last words :)

 

 

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Head Against Brick Wall

January 3, 2011 by 3 Comments

So my son has taken up ‘cussing’ lately….which isn’t surprising since I have a terrible potty mouth and it gets worse the more frustrated I get…and my son tends to frustrate me.

He tends not to say anything TOO bad…but there is a lot of DAM this and DAM that….and is somewhat more forgivable than the surreptitious middle fingers my DAUGHTER is flicking at him behind my back.

Anyway….he is usually raging with the big D word because I have asked him for like the five MILLIONTH time to please pick up that piece of FUCKING LEGO that I asked you to pick up 6 hours ago.

And thus many of our conversations seem to play out these days.

I have tried everything with this boy when it comes to things like eating and cleaning up mess.  I have read about how large portions of food will overwhelm a child…so he gets TEENY tiny portions of each food group…….it still turns into bargaining on how many bites will be required to gain ice cream later….and this also takes HOURS.

I understand that “clean your room” is a large and nebulous statement…..so I break it down.  ” Can you make your bed please.”

“Great….can we work on the lego that is under your tv table?”

This doesn’t work…so then it is….”I have found this great box here that you can put the loose lego into….we can sort it all together later!”

If I step away….nothing is done.  If I start doing it myself…..nothing is done.   If I stand over him fuming…..nothing is done.

He will find ANYTHING to distract him…..Tara, the weather, his emotional well being….I swear this boy is looking for a doctors note stating that he is too fragile for us to ask him to clean up after himself.

EVERY SINGLE REQUEST requires a verbal dance and time wasted……I don’t know how my blood pressure stays the same.

EVERY SINGLE REQUEST turns into him raging at the injustice of it all…..

I have tried many tactics.    Hubs and I have done good cop bad cop.  We have done reasonable discussions about families working together…how it all takes a team effort….we have done the bit about responsibility…..we have done the THIS IS MY HOUSE DAMMIT….we have done the if you do this then we can discuss THIS reward….he then fixates on the reward and not the path TO the reward.

And it is always someone else’s fault.

Always…when we follow through with the no swim date, no play date, no video games till this ONE task is completed, he prefers to waste energy raging at me, his dad, his sister, life, his room…..anyone and anything except himself and just shutting up for a minute AND DOING IT!!!!

What is that?

What have we done wrong???

It just all seems like pretty basic stuff and this is basic stuff that we have stuck with since he was old enough to understand…..it’s not like this has been sprung upon him recently.

Also…teeth brushing…..this seems to come to him as a total surprise EVERY SINGLE  DAY!!

Bed time is also a bit of a shock as is dinner and homework.

Like it hasn’t happened BEFORE!!!!

I would just like one day when I say time to getupgotobedmakebedtimefordinnertime etc, that he would say….awww okay…and DO IT!

I keep waiting to see if he will figure it out one of these days…the light bulb moment…like he gets with math or reading….but so far, NOTHING…except more gray hair for me.

I would LOVE any ideas from the more calm and experienced moms out there.

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Emotion

May 17, 2010 by 7 Comments

It is getting a bit stupid around the House of Crunch.

Emotions change quickly…..it is hard to keep up….from this change

To this…in seconds flat…

Emotion

Her growing beauty is as bewildering as her emotions. Her strength is terrifying. Her fury. Her rage is overwhelming. Her remorse. Her need for love and reassurance….heartbreaking.

Then we have this…..

2010 101

He didn’t want his school mates to see this photo. He likes it. He likes it being with his little sister…but it also has his ‘dee dee’ blanket in it and he now hides that from his peers. He has cred to maintain.

I think being 8 (as he will be in a couple of weeks) is hard. I think harder for a boy. I don’t remember much of 8 myself. I remember liking 9 for some reason…8 maybe isn’t all that great for girls either.

While I watch Caity facing the psychological mind field that girl friendships can grow into, the rocketing rage and frustrations that face Adam on a daily basis leave me feeling completely at a loss.

I don’t even think Mentoring Boys covers this stuff.

I don’t know if books cover how an emotional, empathic, intelligent, borderline ADHD/OCD/YOUNAMETHEISSUE boy deals with the bloody sands that are the playground of life.  The proving grounds where they all must show their strengths and hide weaknesses, where honest feelings must be masked, where popularity is counted in power of personality rather than likability.

It is like Sparta sans loin clothes.

On Sunday, knowing we had a lot we wanted to get done, we asked Adam to NOT go out.  He did anyway….15 minutes later he was back..panting, sweaty, teary.

In that short time, he had managed to get into a knock down fight with a considerably larger boy.   Another one had joined in.  Thankfully there were some borderline honest witnesses.

Sore heads were examined, and parents were talked to.

Raging emotions were soothed.  He was angry.   He had been very angry.  But he had stood up for what he felt was right and didn’t back down.   He didn’t run for home…which I probably would have preferred, but instead he tried to deal with something he felt strongly about by himself…and emotions flared.

Lines were drawn in the sand.

I think his cred still stands…..

But his day was shot…as was ours.

We did take the family to the local pool.  That was fun.  Tara was terrified, but got into it all eventually….and the kids leaped around their dad like happy dolphins.

Dolphins that can’t swim..but never mind.

However…he emotions and lack of good sustenance gave way to what was really a migraine.  His type of migraine causes him to throw up.

His migraines are caused by not eating right.   I FIGHT every day to make him eat well.  I try every type of food that is healthy that I THINK he might like…but the boy is strong and will hold out for the sweets…the junk….even when there really is NONE in the house.

He was also a bit bamboozled by the fact that he napped.  He didn’t believe it….swore it was the next day.  I was in a state about him then being concussed from his fight earlier.

While I do see through his many rouses, he is a consummate actor…..so I had to really think about it how much fakery was involved….was he trying to avoid school?

Who knows.

He seemed  no worse for wear today.

Just back to the yammering, the harping, the non stopness that drives us to distraction.  That can spoil a simple trip to the store.

And being that I had already dealt with the lady shrieking “YOUR NOT THE BOSS OF ME” at me today…without irony…..I was feeling a little ‘frayed’ to put it mildly already.

2010 110

And you can see this one is well on the way to being just as scary, if not even more so than the other two.

Needless to say, trying to have sushi with this lot after picking up their dad, was NOT a good idea.
Which is why I am assuming he went to bed before 10 and I am the only one currently up….except for the cats at the moment.

I really really wish I had more ‘mad skillz’ at this parenting thing.
I wish I was more patient.
I wish I understood more what was making them tick.
I wish I could protect their little hearts more.
I hate the world in which they have to find their way.
I hate the way it affects them.
I hate bearing the brunt of their ‘bad days’….even though I know that is my job.
I hate having to hurt for them.
I hate being mad at them.

I hope they aren’t too mad at me.

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Parent Fail

February 25, 2010 by 9 Comments

I have come to the conclusion that on the whole…I can handle the mechanics of parenting just fine. Poop and puke in all it’s shapes, forms and volumes really don’t bother me that much.

I will also say, despite the state of my house and whatever my MOM will say on the subject, that I can handle all the basics in keeping babies and children alive.

I can dress the suckers, feed em, and make them fairly presentable. I also do remember to bathe them on occasion too.

Just because my home looks like something from a TLC reality drama does not mean that I do try to keep things clicking along.

Really, I do.

I can ‘do’ babies no problem. Feed em, dress em, hug em and love em. Forgive them for never sleeping and stick a silly smile on your rough and wretched face.

When they start talking back is when I have noticed that my skills seem to lack.

Now that my kids are school agers, things tend to get more heated around here. Authority is questioned a lot around here, and frankly, I don’t blame them. Would you take ME seriously? No.

The attitude around here from the shorter members of the family seems to be of total superiority over the taller members. While they admit to loving us and thinking we are great (heck, Caity has me roped into her Ninja Destroy Santa Plan when she is 20) and funny and so on….figures to fear we are not.

And yes yes blah blah blah, parents shouldn’t be feared. But kids SHOULD have fear of consequences and consequences when you are a kid USUALLY entails SOMETHING to do with pissing your parents of and the fall out from that.

My kids couldn’t give a rats ass about what consequences there are.
I have said before…Caity should be recruited by the CIA..she will NOT break under torture. I think she could probably fool a polygraph too. I am not kidding.

To the kids….us parents are just foolish minions with wallets.

We try reason. We try feel good touch feely new parenty psycho babble about feelings and trust and team work and you can see their eyes glaze over.

We try the old school YOU WILL BE PUNISHED FOR THIS INFRACTION.

They roll their eyes and shrug it off.

We take away tv, we take away toys, video games you name it.

They may moan and groan about it…but instead of trying to FIX things…to talk about the behavior…they just endure their time away from their precious toys and celebrate their reunion with them.

WTF!???

I am remembering now why I never really ‘liked’ kids until I had my own!

I do realize that there is a TON of ‘help out there for parents to find. All sorts of parenting classes, books etc..but I did that.

I think it boils down to personality. I am not and my husband is not a parental figure really…We try….we LOVE our kids…we ADORE being parents…but I really think we are doing it wrong.

Not wrong enough to mess them up…I think they are amazing kids and their strength of personality and bloody mindedness will do them just fine into the adult years.

But I will have a heart attack if I cannot come up with some sort of plan to just once in a while get them to LISTEN and DO WHAT I HAVE ASKED before I have turned purple.

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