Letting Everyone Shine

May 29, 2012 by 1 Comment

A couple of weeks ago Caity announced that she had ‘auditioned’ for the school talent show. “Oh, I said. “What did you do?” Apparently she danced. Apparently she did the coffee grind dance move for about 30 seconds and that was it.

A worried teacher caught up to me the other day and in a panicked voice told me she wasn’t ‘er um, ready.’ The teacher said that she could have another chance if she wanted too, to prepare something more….structured. EEEEEH.

I give points to my daughter for having the guts to just charge up there and do ‘something’ THAT is awesome. However, my daughter has a tendency to not want to remotely understand that any ‘talent’ takes practice. I earnestly explained all this and that she and I would have to work on a routine, a whole dance that she could do. She steadfastly refused.

Later on a bit more came out. She had HEARD a teacher say she was terrible. Probably not quite in the context SHE assumed, but it broke her little heart. She refused to do anything to the point that she was going to skip school the day of the talent show because she feared being forced to get up and perform.

Oh dear.

We were watching the new season of You Think You Can Dance, a show we have all enjoyed as a family. Caity suddenly burst out with a wail of “I CAN’T DO ANYTHING.’ The realization was devastating to her. I hurredly placated her with the idea that perhaps she just hadn’t found HER talent yet or perhaps her talent just wasn’t the type you could put in a show. Awkward I know. The truth is, as much as I love my daughter to pieces – the things she likes to do most – singing and dancing – are two things she just does not have a talent for. Her brave Hip Hop solo a while ago at school – in front of the ENTIRE school – was alarming to say the least. God bless her.

Throughout her short life, I have gamely let her try anything she wanted to, she is a pretty good artist, but only when she truly focuses on her work. She is so like me. When I was a kid, I expected to just ‘do’ things. I didn’t want to learn musical theory, I just wanted to play the violin. I didn’t want to make pigs out of clay, I attempted porcelain figurines like I had seen on the Antiques Road Show. I couldn’t understand why mine weren’t the same. I quit everything I tried.

Caity is a magical being. She shines with energy and enthusiasm. She is loud and creative and it shows. She stands out from the crowd. But standing out is a hard path and I sure hope she has the strength to handle it. I hope she can find her own true talent and I will do my best to make sure her enthusiasm never wains……balanced with a teeny tiny bit of ‘perhaps you could try something else’ for good measure.

Thanks to the kind people at the Vancouver International Children’s Festival, we are spending Saturday down at Granville Island to take in couple of the featured shows. We are going to check out ‘Journey Through Sound,‘ being that the kids love street dance and hip hop. We are also going to see ‘Pete the Cat.’ Pete the Cat never stops moving and grooving and singing his song and hopefully that will reinspire my daughter into remembering that she can try and do everything she wants to do and nothing can slow her down.

Filed Under: Crunchy Children, Crunchy Life, My Blog Tagged With: , , , , ,

Time Flies When You Are Busy Growing Up

May 27, 2012 by 1 Comment

Tomorrow my son turns 1o.  His life feels like it has blurred past me in a mad rush. I can barely remember when he was Tara’s age.  What he was like at 2.5.  Instead before me I have this tall handsome boy, who despite his cool demeanour really still needs his mom.  Thank goodness he still needs his mom.  I need my boy.

We celebrated with as much style and energy as we could muster and I breathed a HUGE sigh of relief when people actually SHOWED up this year and he did not succumb to a migraine and miss his birthday like he did last year.  This year was loud and crazy.  The party has just now wrapped up with the last of the stragglers from the 5 boy strong sleepover FINALLY left.  He basically had a two day celebration and his actual birthday is tomorrow.

Yesterday it was all about water fights.

photo 5 - Copy

Then cake.

photo 2

photo 3 (3)

Then presents.

photo 2 (3)

His friends did him good. He is a lucky kid. They are all nice fun kids who were no problem at all for refereeing and keeping happy and occupied. It was just amazingly loud. Adam asked FIVE boys to sleepover. They were up playing video games and watching movies until about 3:30 in the am. The rest of us humans and animals retreated to our room to hide from the mayhem. Apparently there was pranks that it is better that parents don’t know about.

Which led to today.

The boy is ten now. The majority of his friends are ten and older. The urge to spread wings grows strong. He chafes for more independence, more time away from prying parental eyes. This is tough…even for a more free range leaning parent like myself. He and his buddies ventured down to the nature park to ‘fish.’ I took the dogs down and met them there, fully into their explorations and adventures. I was not impressed that he had brought he newly acquired long board. A VERY expensive birthday gift that I had visions of being lifted by some wandering teens as he was busy hunting for frogs. I continued on my way with the dogs with the board tucked under my arm and told the boys to head back home as quickly as they could.

This wasn’t easy as Caity wanted to tag along and Adam was not into that. Made much threats about ignoring her and so on. We parted company with me feeling much trepidation.

When we returned I found that they had not. Also, the parents of his two companions were calling wondering when to pick up their offspring. Patrick had not been inclined to say that he had no freaking clue as to where the children were.

Mom and I headed down the trails calling in vain to see if they were on their way back. We finally did find them, dirty and limping. I was a tad too angry to notice this and told them to all march home and call their parents to get picked up. Then I heard their adventure.

I am not too clear on it, but it seems to have involved boys shoving boys and boys falling down steep hills to the creek below and everyone ending up down there and then having a hell of a time getting back up. There was tears and scratches and gashed knees…but all felt quite victorious after they got themselves out of the predicament and staggered to the corner store for celebratory freezies, where we found them walking back from.

So, the whole GOOD parent in me was freaking about them being out of contact and the horror of not quite knowing where they were. The other part of me, the part that remembered being ten suppressed a smile and decided to not be too rough on them. I cleaned their scratches and let them regale me with their heroic tales of pulling up Caity from this great chasm.

We didn’t share too much of the days adventure with their dad. Their dad is awesome, but tends to lean more towards the concerned parent and I know how exasperated he gets with my seeming lack of concern over their exploits. I am not unconcerned for their safety. I just remember that those little adventures that were NOT seen by parents were really amazing moments in my childhood. Little moments when you weren’t just kids….but people on a great adventure together…a team. They were all so proud of themselves, despite the fact that being totally stupid was what led them to that adventure in the first place.

I had said it before, and will say it again. To all those out there starting out on their parenting journey. The sleepless baby nights are the easiest. Parenting a child who is learning all about themselves and their world is tough. Every day is a challenge. Every single day there is a new demand, challenge, argument that needs dealt with as their world grows ever larger.

It was a good weekend. I learned a lot.

 

Filed Under: Crunchy Children, Crunchy Life, My Blog Tagged With: , ,

BioHazard of Parental Shame

November 27, 2011 by 5 Comments

It has happened.  That shame that every single parent of school age kids dread more than anything else.  Oh the shame. Oh the embarrassment.   Paint a red plague sign on our door….yes, our kids got LICE!

EWWWWWWWW

So pissed about it.  I KNOW that it is more common than ever these days.    But I have been pretty smug for four years of school that we had gotten away without dealing with them.  Now the bastards won’t go away.  Thank goodness myself and hubs have so far remained clear of them…..we are like monkeys these days constantly checking each other.

The kid have not been so lucky.  First it was just Adam who was hit.  We started combing and cleaning out HIS head immediately.   We bought mass amounts of Nix but really did not find it effective at all.  And we have been DILIGENT.  We have washed everything in hot water.  We have done bedding and stuffies in garbage bags and the dryer on hot.  We have combed the buggers out twice a day.  We thought we had them beat.

We even KEPT with the treatments and tried Resultz. ….on everyone in the house who remotely felt itchy.  That stuff does seem to work a lot better, especially with helping get a nit comb through Caity’s hair.

We dreaded Caity getting them in her insanely thick hair.  We THOUGHT we had managed to escape that horror.  But not.  No such luck.   I cut three inches off her hair to get at them and mange the crazy knots that her curls were turning into.

One big issue with Nix and Resultz?  The combs that come with them are DARK in colour.  This makes it hard to see if you are successful in combing.  We were lucky to still have a flea comb from the cats left over and THAT was far better with finer tines on the comb too.     I recommend the flea combs if you are ever struck at your home with these horrid things.

We are now finding that using the dog shampoo with tea tree oil in it seems to help a lot.  That and combing combing combing.

This however irks me.  WE are being diligent. But who did Adam get them from?  I even called the school to tell them about our problem. They notified his classroom and apparently put a mention in the newsletter about how to deal with them.    I don’t think any other parents are bothering to check their kids.  None have shared this with Adam or Caity anyway.

The kids are devastated too.  We don’t want kids sleeping here or our kids sleeping at other kids houses while this goes on.   Caity is ashamed.  She says her thick unruly hair already makes her the butt of some cruel jokes about not brushing her hair.   She was very happy with my make-do cut.

But our kids will keep getting these things until the WHOLE school does something, and we are now SICK of combing and picking and washing and checking.

Hence me speaking of the horror on my blog.     Check your kids heads!    Make sure they are not getting hit by these things.   Stop the spread if you can!!!   Symptoms can be not clear either ….Adam had a rash on his back.  We asked the doctor about it and even suggested Lice and he checked and said NO.  Do the checking yourself.   Google images, samples everything.

I wish the kids in Adams class would get treated as we are getting so tired of this now.

Filed Under: Crunchy Children, My Blog Tagged With: , ,

Hairy Situation

September 24, 2011 by 4 Comments

Hair is a bit of an issue in this family.

There is a lot of it.   Some of us have almost TOO much hair.   Those of you who have met the family in real life have SEEN the hair.    Really, we do try to manage it.  It just doesn’t look that way.

Both Caity and Adam have a LOT of hair.  Caity’s hair is thick and curly and we can’t figure out if long or short will make it any easier to deal with.    Even after much brushing, she pretty much looks like she just woke up and walked out the door without ever glancing at a brush.

Then there is Adam.

Not only does Adam have thick coarse hair.  It is now long.  He has been keeping it shaggy for about two years now.   This seems to annoy many people around us.   And I am fascinated by the need for people to comment on his hair.

Now, from their Grandmother, I understand the comments.  She is from the era where children should be quiet and well groomed.  Two things my kids are not.   But from neighbours and strangers?

The other day while picking up the kids from school, the neighbours dad started to comment about hair styles.   HE and his two boys (Adam’s school mates) had obviously just had haircuts.  All were the traditional Super/Magic/Cheap cuts that most people do for their kids, especially school age boys.  He was going on about Adam being able to see properly or look what a real hair cut  looks like …ha ha ha ha.

I smiled and carried on and just ignored him…but the more I have thought about this the more boggled I am.

From Jezebel.com

Now we are not talking Rene Charles hair here.   We have trimmed and cut Adam’s hair since he was wee.    Frankly I was relieved when he told me he liked it long.   I was tired of the lack of choice when it comes to boys hair and the cookie cutter look of boys in elementary school.  I liked that he wanted to be different.  I do realize that a lot of it comes from his sensory issues and dislike of people touching his head….but I like that he was comfortable in stating what HE felt was right for him and not comparing himself to his peers.

Other people obviously feel differently.

People apparently ASK my mom if he has had a hair cut yet.   It prays on their minds.  The only thing that bothers me is his laziness when it comes to WASHING his hair.  That is just gross.

But I am his parent and it is MY responsibility to make sure he gets the hygiene thing.

So what is the deal with boys and their hair.  In a world that seems to struggle to get rid of gender stereotyping….why do we still want our little boys to have short hair?

 

Filed Under: Crunchy Children, Crunchy Parenting, My Blog Tagged With: , ,

Sleep is for the Weak

September 5, 2011 by 4 Comments

Tomorrow is the first day of school.   However my kids could not care less since they found out that they are only there for 45 minutes.  In their minds they can therefore stay up late as usual and just be tired AFTER they finish up.

This is not working for me.

While I have loved the hedonistic free for all that summer is at the House of Crunch, sleep sucks enough around here.   Forced routine of that evil institution is the only excuse us slacker parents have for forcing them upstairs before 9pm.  They are only 7 and 9 fer Pete’s sake. Their fun filled evenings also make it hard to convince Tara that at two she NEEDS to go to sleep before we do.

Sleep is a bit of a joke around here.  We tend to look at the kids rooms as merely places to dump toys.  Nobody (apart from Tara so far) really ever sleeps in their own beds…not for very long anyway.

I like to think of us a reverse co sleepers.

However the exhausting arguments EVERY SINGLE NIGHT about who gets to sleep where and me sitting on my bed shrieking NO NO NO NO YOU ARE NOT SLEEPING IN HERE is not conducive to a relaxing bedtime routine.    When I rabidly chase them both out of my bedroom and shut the door to their mutinous mutterings, the whispered giggling mounts up.  Caity has not muttered herself into HER bed.  She is now laying beside Adam in HIS bed.  They are reading.  They resemble some sort of shrunken couple as they comment on some point or other that their Complete Guide to Pokemon Domination has show them.

I am halfway to just buying a full size mattress for them to use.  But then how long is this happy brother sister sleep situation going to last for them? Or  more to the point, when does the happy brother sister sleep situation get creepy?

As an only child, I boggle at how these two can fight so viciously, call each other terrible names, yet happily and lovingly pool together for the sake of company and comfort in what is obviously a cold and callous household.

That’s right. MOM and DAD don’t always want to share our bed with two kids and a dog.  We are only just thankful that Tara hasn’t twigged about all this yet.

The bed is not big enough.   My patience is not big enough.

On top of that..these kids need real sleep.   Adam gets weepy when he is over tired.   He gets overstimulated too.   He finds it VERY hard to wind down for the night.  Caity just can’t let things go till she just crashes out.

This makes for aggravating nights and very tough mornings.  I am not looking forward to dragging grouchy kids up in the am once again.

I would love to know if other siblings enjoy sharing their beds as much as mine do. Especially those of opposite genders.

Filed Under: Crunchy Children, My Blog Tagged With: , ,

Boys of Summer

July 31, 2011 by 1 Comment

One of the most prevailing traits we find in our family is stubbornness.   Or to be less polite – sheer bloody mindedness.   None of us like to back down and NONE of us like to be wrong.

Add in the slightly ‘obsessive’ quality some of us have and things can get a bit hairy around here.

My mom and I joke about our ‘bees in our our bonnets,’ when we are like this.   The furniture moving while I was really sick with a summer cold/flu thing is a good example.   I had stared at my messy house long enough and it was bothering me.  I HAD to change it right then.

Mom understood.   It tends to annoy the shit out of hubs but he is almost as bad.

Adam can be like a dog with a bone or a hapless sheep and worry “it” to death.   It can be his sister or something that he reeeeeeeeeeeeellly wants or reeeeeeeeeelly likes.

Both are annoying.

The really likes are tend to just make your brain melt.  Right now he is really into Pokemon.  This could change since he is being neglected by friends who are only playing UGEO (you tell me if I spelled it right).  However, he has invested a LOT into liking Pokemon.  He has all the video games on his DS and Wii.   He has the playing cards and action figures.  He has the books all about Pokemon and religiously watches the atrocious cartoons every single day.

EVERY_SINGLE_POKEMON_by_purplekecleon

Do not get him started in telling you about Pokemon.  The one sided discussion will go on forever.  I was once trapped in the car while he warbled on about EVERY single Pokemon he thought I might like.

Now don’t get me wrong.  I am happy there is something he is keen about and believe it or not I do actually engage him in discussions about Pokemon on purpose because I know he is excited by it.   I make an effort to sound excited about the games and so on. But he does go on. And on. And on.

Adam can have trouble reading social cues.   He may or may not see your eyes glaze over.    And someday’s he can have a really hard time switching gears or letting a topic trail off at an appropriate time.

I do worry that this does affect his ability to maintain friendships.  He is a likable kid, but I think his blinkers on mode can really piss off other kids.

He has been a bit sad that the two brothers who he swam with almost every day last summer have hardly said two words to him this year. We haven’t figured out what happened.  They have been playing with these other two brothers who are – in my opinion – total douchebags and Adam won’t go near them.  The other parents do seem to be more okay with rough house play than we are and so they don’t seem to see anything wrong with smashing people around.

I do.  And so does Adam.

Adam was never diagnosed with any ‘issues’ though his preschool teachers were convinced he was ADHD.  We did have him assessed and was told what we knew..that he was a bright boy with a LOT of energy.

He is a bright boy, but not much of a trier and is very prone to giving up or flying into a rage over the ‘IMPOSSIBILITY’ of something.   Or he  will blame others for the issues at hand too.

All this makes for some interesting ‘conversations’ around here.    EVERYTHING is an argument.  With ALL of them.  This can be exhausting.

Hence why SUMMER is a trying time around the House of Crunch.  This summer they both refused to attend the day camps.    Granted they have had unpleasant experiences at them due to some of the kids there that they already had issues with.

But this has made for LOOOOONG days with me working to fill up their time, blow off energy and stop them killing each other.    Tough when everyother kid in the area IS in daycamp or daycare.

It does ALSO make for lively discussions.   My kids ARE bright. Adam is quick thinking and witty.  He can think on his feet….especially when defending his point.

His new campaign is for a lizard.    We are not buying him a lizard.    He has to earn it.  To do so he not only has to earn the money, he has to earn our trust.  He has to show us that he is fully committed to this.   I have told him he needs to show us how well he has researched the costs, health, needs etc of the lizard of his choice.   He also has to prove that this won’t be a one hit wonder that gets boring after the first day when he realizes that the lizard prefers lurking in the dark and not talking to him.  That it is not a toy is key.

This has spiraled into Caity campaigning that if HE gets a pet, SHE gets a pet.  SHE wants either a hamster, gerbil, guinea pig or gold fish. This is not happening in the near future either.  This house is crazy enough with three cats and a dog.  We cannot FIT more animals here, but I want this to be a long learning process for both of them about responsibility.

So instead, due to their slightly obsessive natures, we now listen to them talk and talk and talk about their pets and where they are keeping them and so on.  It hurts.

I just have to get through August!

 

Filed Under: Crunchy Children, My Blog Tagged With: , , , ,

How?

July 14, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Did this…

Turn into THIS!!??

Despite the horror that was your sleep pattern for sooooo long, you have been an absolute joy to us all.    Watching your personality grow bigger than your shoe size has been sheer pleasure for all around you.  You are a crazy, wild little girl and we all adore you.

Happy second birthday Tara.

 

Filed Under: Crunchy Children, My Blog

Will I be pretty, will I be rich

June 23, 2011 by 2 Comments

What goombas couldn’t think about what dates there would be a NEW arrival nine months after conception?  US.  Yes and now all our birthdays line up in a hellish row of planning and overspending.   We start with Patrick in April and then rush into the kids May, June and July, and by the time my birthday comes along, I could not give a crap and am all organized out.

Caity2

If it is hard now, can you imagine when Tara hits school age and  WANTS a party?

So today we celebrate Caitlyn’s birthday.  She is 7 today.  How on earth can I have a 7 and a 9 year old????

For Caity the most important thing is that we shower her with gifts.  She is quite the materialistic little thing.    I have tried to shower…within reason.  Saturday we  are having a pool party where I assume she expects to be equally showered in gifts and attention.

Our Gorgeous Girl

We spend a great deal of time with Caity being completely befuddled or trying to calm the beast.  She switches emotional gears faster than any of us can keep up.   She is perhaps, a  shining example of the mutinous and hard done by middle child.

She is uber sensitive to any perceived slight and SHRIEKS her opinion on this….loudly.

She has  a trucker’s sense of humour (no offence to any truckers out there)…but she offends US with some of her jokes.  She is just turned 7 remember.   Whatever old soul possesses her was quite the character.

At the same time she is the kindest and sweetest girl I know.  She is beyond beautiful (in my opinion) and with her temper, wild hair and flashing eyes reminds me of a young Elizabeth Taylor.

Caity&TinkerBell

I adore Caitlyn….but I see much bumpiness along our path together.   All I hope for is that she knows how much I love her and how much I care about her.

I think she is truly an amazing creature and watch fascinated as she develops

Happy Birthday Girl…..your minions are trying their best.

When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother, what will I be
Will I be pretty, will I be rich
Here’s what she said to me.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future’s not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

When I was young, I fell in love
I asked my sweetheart what lies ahead
Will we have rainbows, day after day
Here’s what my sweetheart said.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future’s not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

Now I have children of my own
They ask their mother, what will I be
Will I be handsome, will I be rich
I tell them tenderly.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future’s not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

 

 

Filed Under: Crunchy Children, Crunchy Life, My Blog Tagged With: ,

Sentimental Journey

May 27, 2011 by 2 Comments

I have LOADS of more businessy bloggy things to take care of, but tomorrow my boy is NINE!

9

NINE YEARS OLD!

How can that be!?

Where did the time go!!!??

Disney Alaska May 3-10 097

And you know, he drives me around the bend.  He can make my blood pressure go from zero to sixty in seconds flat.  But his charm and his wit and his love and his kindness eclipse all the maddening things he says and does.

I love him.

We all love him.

He was the centre of our universe when he was born and two siblings later, I don’t think that has changed all that much.

Disney Alaska May 3-10 035

His cocky, over confident exterior hides a much more sensitive and insecure self.   He is a worrier.  His sometimes acts of thoughtlessness will come back and slam his conscience  hard, leaving him sleepless and anxious.  Night can be a hard time for deep thinkers.  Sleep does not come easy for this boy.  Even when his sister is curled up with him.

For as much as they bicker.  Caitlyn and Adam are very close.  They have each others back.  I love that.

It is what makes me kick myself when I lose my patience or say something too harsh for what is going on. I forget that is tongue often out paces his brain…as does mine.   Perhaps my frustration does come from seeing ME in him too much.
I adore his infectious laugh.  Watching him double over in giggles is the best reward.  I love his crazy sense of humour, as it is similar to mine.     We laugh at the same things.  We notice the same things.

As much as he is SO like his father….there is much of me in him.

Happy Birthday Adam…you have made it all worth it.

I love you very much.

Filed Under: Crunchy Children, My Blog

Expanding Worlds

May 17, 2011 by 2 Comments

As your kids hit school age, you start to really see them for the people they are and who they will be.  You also fret a lot.  You worry about them making friends, fitting in, doing well at school, the list goes on.

When the kids get through kindergarten their world starts to separate more and more from your world and you have to start ASKING what is going on instead of being the one controlling it.

I have to admit, I do enjoy watching their little worlds expand and their confidence in themselves with it.  The two of them marched in the house the other day and announced that they had both joined the ‘Walking Club.’

Apparently the first rule of walking club is to not talk about the walking club since when I asked about what that entails, all I got was “we walk.”

Nuff said.

However, coming from a girl AND boy who complain if they have to walk ANYWHERE about sore legs…this is all a bit surprising.

What was even MORE surprising is our gamer/emo/slacker boy joined the track team and seems to LOVE it.   We headed out to watch his first mini meet, and he may not be the fastest, but he is enthusiastic and is listening and learning.

We really saw how confident they are in their own worlds when we were on the cruise.  They would vanish into the Oceaneer Lab or Club with nary a backward glance and be gone for hours in their own world where they didn’t need mom or dad.   They made friends and connections on the ship and waved hi at kids we didn’t know as we wandered about.

Last night a GIRL that they met onboard CALLED Adam.   Their world continues to grow.

Filed Under: Crunchy Children, My Blog Tagged With: , , , , ,
«Older Posts