I have been in a bit of a foggy fugue or something these last few days.   Just found myself in a really bad mood all weekend.  Poor family took the brunt of it.

I think it mostly boiled down to weather and being tired and just really feeling the need for quiet time.  Something I have not had much of.

However, I feel selfish and guilty for being remotely cranky when compared to Crunchy Husband, my last few days have been a doddle.

He has been busting his butt clearing, sanding and painting his mom’s place.  Not fun.

I feel really bad for my low tolerance lately, but what can I do?  At least I am in a bit of a better mood now.  Cept I think CH is mad at me and hasn’t said specifically why!!!

I tried to make it up to the kids today by taking them to a petting zoo and fun fair over at Queens Park in New Westminster.

Despite the pouring rain it was nice to get out and just TRY to chill…and the kids did behave.

Last night, after dinner with CH’s Grandmother, we headed down to Spanish Banks, specifically the Dog Beach.

We felt bad as Callie hadn’t had much play time lately with us all being busy or tired.

This is her cringing and looking for a ‘poor doggy tummy rub’  This is AFTER she LOST HER SQUEAKER at the beach.  Yes.  We discovered that our part lab does not like the water.  The toy went a teeny bit too far out and that was it.

The kids howled in despair as we watched it drift out into English Bay.

Poor Callie.

While I am at it…here are the rest of our ZOO.

This is Aurora.  HE was our first cat as a couple.   CH fell in love with him at the SPCA.  This is the one with no colon.

This is Phoebe.   She was our second cat from the SPCA.  This photo is very rare.  She hardly ever leaves CH’s lap or office.  She LOVES CH.

And finally, we have Crystal.   She kept moving…I will have to try and catch her in repose.   She was my Mother in Law’s cat.  She lives in our bedroom and our bed.

So between all them and two kids and two adults…it gets a bit crazy and CRUNCHY around here as you can imagine.

I just stocked up on vacuum bags today…drifts of hair everywhere.

I suppose I SHOULD actually go and clean.

Oh and I didn’t get the job I was hoping to get.  It would have paid for my trip to BlogHer.  So being that I am in debt up to my eyeballs and CH doesn’t have steady work at the moment, it is going to take a miracle for me to get there.

Sigh.

But I ain’t giving up yet.

I really really want to go.

All over the blogosphere today you will be reading about the causes that are important to everyone.

The BlogCatalog is promoting BLOGGERS UNITE. A Day for all of us to blog about HUMAN RIGHTS.

In all honesty, I don’t even know where to begin.

There are so many causes and issues and problems that we are facing right now.

From horrendous disasters in Burma and China, to the horror in Darfur and the unjust war in Iraq, and the mess that is Afghanistan.

From Religious persecution, to political prisoners, slavery, the list goes on and on.

BlogHer is doing an amazing job with their BlogHers Act and up here, BlogHers Act Canada to promote issues that are important to us and help spread awareness.

But..it really feels a bit intimidating.

So many causes.

So many problems.

Even here at home we are having issues that would be defined as ‘human rights abuses.’

In Canada, at lest 20 people have died after being tasered by police. The big question is ; was the tasering REALLY necessary or just another example of excessive force and lack of concern being shown by our police forces.

In Vancouver, we have the POOREST postal code in the country. The Downtown Eastside is a pit of misery….homelessness, drug use, prostitution and mental health issues…all wrapped up in one small area…an area that the powers that be would rather sweep away than deal with.

So where do we even begin?

Giving to charities may make us feel good…but HOW much help is it on a global scale?

How do we CHANGE things instead of just putting band aids on growing issues and problems?

We speak up.

We protest.

We campaign.

We push our politicians and make them listen to us. WE tell them what is important and what WE want to see fixed.

Our voices are our most powerful weapons.

In a democratic nation, those leaders were elected by US…they are supposed to work for US…therefore they need to act on OUR issues and wishes.

So yes, blog about things…but also write to politicians, start

I have a new Chiropractor. Shhh don’t tell the old one.

I originally picked him because he is like FIVE MINUTES from my house.

But now, after just two visits. We love him.

And not just because of the cool and deft way he undid my BRA on my first visit.  AND snapped it back together…oooh no!

We love his electric fire place and nice leather furniture. I always want to just bring coffee now and stay awhile.

He is your total cool hip dad.

He brings his son to work…he has a special room for him and his nanny.

This means that you too can bring your kids.

How cool is that?

At first I was rather unnerved by his open concept set up…..BIG windows showing me laid out like a side of beef on his table…only a partition between me and the next patient.

But it is kind of fun….there we all are….being cold lasered or having the table swooshing around while he clicks away and discusses the great teaching of a Doctor Cox. Who, apparently had or has - I have no idea if the dude is alive or what - the best treatment for problem butts like me!

Of course, he is costing me a fortune that I forgot to budget for….my tail bone was really bothering me and so he is now into MEGA treatments till things ease up…ease up on my wallet…I assume he means.

Oh well.

It seems to work and Caity thoroughly enjoyed hanging with his son and nanny.

She wants to come back tomorrow.

So while I suppose I could be sulking that my Mother’s Day is not filled with brunches in restaurants surrounded by screaming kids and mom’s pretending they are having a lovely day, or sulking at the lack of flowers or spa treatments, etc….I won’t.

I won’t sulk because there was no breakfast in bed or that my house looks like a war zone.

I recall it being against the law to clean the bathroom on Mother’s Day.

I won’t sulk though.

I have a great mom who gave me a card saying I was a better mom than she was..which is total bull, but I am glad that I have her fooled.

Today Crunchy Husband spends Mother’s Day helping his brother clean out his childhood home. The home of his mother. The mother that died last year.

He is going through piles of stuff….the flotsam and jestam of a life that was done to early. Too soon.

He is spending his weekend looking at the things that were important to his mom to hang on to…even if it seems insignificant to us now…it was too important for her to let go. There are receipts, cards, photos,…everything.

I wish I could be there today for him. He really needs someone there to help…to control the emotion…to stay on track….to step away from the memories.

But ours kids do not have the patience for such jobs. Even when I was giving them jobs yesterday….they were getting impatient and cranky.

I hate not being able to help him.

I will do my best to keep the home front organized and to not be TOO snarky with the kids and keep them busy.

I will just be there for him….on Mother’s Day.

I really am not the person I used to be.

No..not transformed by being a mom etc…I just don’t have it together like  I used to.  And it bothers me.

I received an e-vite though urbanmoms.ca to attend a skin care product launch down at a big department store downtown.

The instructions WERE a bit vague..but I also didn’t clarify them like I should.  I didn’t RESEARCH it enough.

This is unusual for me.

I invited my mom to come with me.

We went early so we could have dinner and a blether.

And blether we did.  FOR A LONG TIME.

NO interruptions.  No topics off limits.  We just enjoyed each others company.

It was a real pleasure for me.

Then we went to find the ‘event’….it wasn’t where it should have been.  I could not think of where else it SHOULD have been.

We left.

I think we just looked in the wrong places.

I feel dumb.

But I wasn’t that disappointed.  I spent an evening with my mom.   With no time constraints and we were totally relaxed.

I suppose that was our Mother’s Day treat.

So.   I am not the same person I used to be.   I am way more flaky and forgetful.  I lose things.  I don’t plan things out like I did.

People look shocked at my mess up’s.

They expect more from me.

However.  I find that these ‘changes’ don’t really bother me as much as they should, or would have.

I am a lot more RELAXED about stuff than I used to be.  I don’t freak as much about everything being ‘just so.’

Crunchy Husband will laugh hilariously about this…but really…compared to ‘before’…I am waaay more relaxed about things.

Life changes us.

Ages changes us.

Circumstances change us.

That is cool.

*****

These amazing women started up this site  called glow in the woods.

It is for mom’s like me who have suffered a loss of a child one way or another.

It is a beautiful site.  Perfect in my eyes.

It feels safe and comfortable and  gentle.

It doesn’t overwhelm you with each other’s grief.   But the love and support that is felt there is like a warm hug.

Reading through the site and peoples posts and discussions was soothing to me.

I am in a good place these days and I want to build on that and create some sort of reserve of strength, calm and happiness.

I think that site will be a HUGE help to me.

****

I am also still twittering like mad.   Please find me so we can follow each other.

I have also noticed a growing increase in letters from PR companies wanting me to talk about their stuff on my sites.

Now…if a product or service is cool or useful,  I don’t mind doing this.  However, it IS free advertising and free flogging of something and I don’t really feel THAT generous all the time.  I also LOVE doing book reviews etc…Just have been a tad lazy lately.

So PR people…I know I am not one of the big guns out there..but please either offer to PAY me some sort of advertising fee OR offer some sort of special deal to my readers..SOMETHING.

‘Kay…that is all for now.

Following up the post about the upcoming War Bride Exhibit, my own Mom decided to share with us, the story of how HER mom and dad met.

Thanks Mom.

I am the daughter of a WWII ‘War Bride’. My Scottish mother met my father, a Canadian soldier, at “The Palais De Danse” in Edinburgh during one of his leaves. The Palais had seen better days. It used to be quite grand apparently. It had a sprung dance floor and a balcony running around the large floor where you could watch the dancers. Before the war people used to arrive in carriages, and fur and jewel bedecked women swanned in on the arms of handsome tuxedo clad men, or so I am told. The wars changed all that and in the 1940’s it was a hang out for the ‘sojers’ to meet Scottish lassies. I just remember it as a place to go “dancin’” and meet boys in the 1960’s. It had a bad reputation by then and I was not supposed to go but did anyway. Sadly it closed down and became, like many others, a Bingo Hall. I don’t know even if it is still there.

My dad was not a dancer, being a big Saskatchewan farm boy, but he wanted to meet girls so made himself go. On this occasion he looked ‘across a crowded room’ and spotted my mum and her lovely, auburn hair and was instantly smitten. He plucked up courage to go over and ask her to dance. He remembers the song that they danced to was Bing Crosby singing “Where the Blue of the night meets the gold of the day, someone waits for me”. He tells me that after they met, they were inseparable and every leave he got was spent in Edinburgh with my mum. You have to realize that this was war time and a different generation, the blackout was on, no lights allowed anywhere, no sign posts, food and clothing rationing and people being shipped out at a moments notice.

They were married in 1943 in my mum’s house by the local minister. Being war time, it was very difficult to find nice things and my mum was married in a short, pale blue rayon dress and she could only find a pair of heavy shoes to wear with it. Of course Dad was in his uniform. It was even difficult to find enough ingredients for a wedding cake with the severe rationing that was in place at the time. I was born in 1944 in Edinburgh while dad was away and he actually didn’t get to see me until I was 1 year old.

The war ended in 1945 and dad was sent back to Canada to be demobbed. He bought a veterans house in Vancouver and sent for my mum and I to join him in 1946. We sailed from South Hampton on the Queen Mary which was almost brand new but still fitted out for war service. My mum thought it was very grand and sent a post card of the ship to her mother, my granny, saying they were having ‘a swell time’ with plenty to eat and cheap cigarettes or ‘fags’ as she called them!

Imagine a ship full of hundreds of women and children all leaving their homes for new lives with husbands they hardly knew to live in a huge, strange land. How brave they all were, I don’t think we’ll see the like again. We landed at Pier 21 in Halifax and then my mum had to face a four day train journey across Canada with a two year old! The train was packed with other war brides and children who were dropped off as they crossed the continent, some in the middle of nowhere in the prairies. My mother was lucky she was going to Vancouver and a comfortable home.

We were only reunited with my father a short time when it was discovered that my mum had contracted TB. She was hospitalized and my Scottish granny came out in 1947 to look after me and keep house while she was in hospital. My mum was in hospital for 5 years during which time I was not allowed to visit her, only see her through a window several floors up. She died in 1952 age 32 never having seen any more of Canada other than what she had during her train trip. I was 8 years old and had only had my mum for 3 years. My granny wanted to return to Scotland and wouldn’t leave without me so my dad let me go and we left for Scotland later that year.

I am now living in Vancouver having immigrated with my own daughter in 1981 and I have nothing but admiration for all those brave war brides who have helped make Canada the wonderful country that it is. I only wish my mum could have been here with me to see it all.

Her Bad Mother, Mrs. Chicky, and Mrs. Chicken AND Girls Gone Child AND Left Coast Mama are expanding their bellies and families….(who else am I missing!!)

Going from one to two is a big deal. You almost feel like you need permission from the ‘parents police’ to check to make sure you actually haven’t totally screwed up the first one and are actually allowed to do it again.

You usually one to go from one to two because no 1 was SUCH AN EASY BABY or you were too drunk for birth control…

We went ahead with no. 2 because we really were having a lot of fun being parents and figured we could not do worse.

And I really don’t think you do.

Parenting is sooo different the second time around.

You are way more relaxed. Things ARE easier..even with a jealous rug rat running around.

The biggest thing is having a bit of a plan and lots of help.

Forget the cleaning and stuff…we focused on making sure that no. 1 child had LOADS of attention and fun while I was stuck in a chair feeding or cuddling or whatever…no sorry..no sleep. Not unless you can coordinate naps…and only if no. 1 child still naps.

But have dad focus on no. 1 child a lot.

It really did work for us.

Maybe too much, our kids have HUGE egos.

It is a whole new experience with no. 2. You are a different person this time around. You are not a ‘new’ parent..you are a PARENT…A PROFESSIONAL. HAHAHAHAHAHA….ahem…

Well, people think you are and so you tend to NOT get all the same ‘helpful’ advice with no. 2.

And your house gets messier.

And messier.

And you get messier..but you are a MOM so everyone should worship at your fertile feet!

And you have to fit more creatures in your bed and lap and figure out things like how to read TWO bedtime stories at the same time.

It is fun. And a bit chaotic.

Go with the flow.

And don’t be sweating with all ‘by the book’ stuff…go with YOUR instincts on this one.

Heck..we had so much fun we tried for no. 3. We may try again.

We still feel we need to add to the chaos.

So ladies….enjoy and have fun.

Eat lots of take out and let everyone else do all the worrying.

Just remember….things change and flow all the time…..go with that!

And no…it must be due to the prescription drugs I am on..that and some good sleep perhaps!?

I woke up in the middle of the night with a really crappy headache.  I grabbed a Tylenol 3 as I while I knew there was an Imitrex SOMEWHERE in the house, I wasn’t sure where.

So, I passed out with that sucker, but still had the headache.  Adam woke up TOTALLY cranky and he has the same cough I do, so we agreed he could stay home - as long as they BOTH promised to lay low - which they sort of did,  and I managed to rest VERY well after taking the newly found Imitrex pill.

I got up around 11 and have been hanging with the kids…messing around.  Watching tv, and feeling really really good.

Heh.

Like TOTALLY relaxed.  Even the mess in this house has not soured my mood.

Weird

It has been busy around here too…and fun busy.

Tuesday night I got myself organized to head down to Sophia’s Books for the great Rockabye Book Signing with the gorgeous author Rebecca Woolf! That is the Ms Woolf or Girl’s Gone Child fame.

She had her friend/assistant/troublemaker Dana of Bite My Cookie hanging with her…another new blogger from the West for me to meet.

I had the honour of driving Mo-Wo of Mother Woman down there.

(there are a LOT of links in this post….wow!)

Aaaand Gwen of Left Coast Mama ANOTHER WetCoast Woman was there!  So WCW were REPRESENTIN!!!!!

And thank you Gwen for a FLATTERING (sort of) photo of me with the lovely Rebecca.

Here is Ms. Woolf while reading from Rockabye….am reading the book right now and she is so good.  So honest.  Wow.

Anyway.

Mo-Wo sounded like she had sort of plans with R and D and so me being me…invited myself along!

I used my car as a lure!

The southerners were chilly!

Anyway (again)….I had a great time.   Rebecca and Dana are a hoot and nice, and friendly and funny and kind and yadda yadda…you who have met them already know this.  I don’t ‘hang’ with Mo-Wo enough and so that is always a pleasure too!

I feel really honoured to meet them and really hope I can meet more bloggy ladies..including the rest of my WetCoastWomen crew and all the others that I link to and read….MILLIONS!

I hope they enjoyed Vancouver.

Wednesday…I could barely speak after my ‘wild’ night out and my yucky cough.

We had a meeting with Caity’s Preschool teacher about her not wanting to attend.  They are convinced it is a phase.  They want us to stop being so wishy washy.  We will try.  But both CH and I have the same misgivings…but are willing to give it one more chance.

She has been VERY clingly lately….a new thing for her.

And naked.

A lot.

We then got the Nana to watch them and headed down to attend our first WordCamp.

Miss 604 - Rebecca Bollwitt - explains it the best with her live blog of the event.

It was a packed room with laptops littering the floor.  There was much live blogging, twittering and insta photosharing going on.

I quite enjoyed the presentation about development and design…encouraged me to learn MORE.

I was quite happy to meet Lisa of MostlyLisa and Miss604 herself.

I (there is a lot of ‘I’ here today)  can’t say I learned anything spectacular, but enjoyed seeing an enthusiastic local crowd of Worpressers, and I do plan on trying to attend more local ‘techie’ things too.

Sooooo….

Apart from the migraine this morning, things are going pretty good.

Or at least we ain’t stressing about it all anyway….and that is they do it!