As I lay in bed with a horrid cold listening to my children go all ‘Lord of the Flies’ unfettered around the house….

Caity singing “Oooooooooh, I am a naked showgirl!!”

It doesn’t take long for civilization to break down.

Just what IS a “parenting expert?”

I mean, apart from perhaps some letters after your name, what makes YOU a parenting expert compared to someone else?  Do you just one day look at the perfection that sprung from your loins one day and decide that you nailed it and therefore you must go and share your god granted gift with other less stellar parents?

Just curious is all.  I mean….really, unless you are sucking at parenting to the point that child services is showing up at your door everyday, isn’t a lot of it subjective?

Don’t we all deal with things in different ways?

Aaaah too many question marks.

And seriously, how many Professional Days does a school need!!!???

Must make lists and forget that I wrote them…then write them again…..then try to remember why I wrote lists in first place.

The busy season is upon us.

Well, it has been non stop busy around here, but now we have the Christmas panic setting in.

See, on the days I don’t feel like crap for whatever reason….usually centered on my uterus, pelvis, butt, or groin…..I remember all the other things I am supposed to be dealing with.

CH and really want to make sure Christmas shopping is done simply and early this year.  But he doesn’t do the cards and the calendars and all that stuff.  I gotta work on that.

Christmas also means tidying up my house.  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

But you have to to make room for the CHRISTMAS stuff.

I also forgot about doing the year end stuff for his business.  OOPS!

There is the daily stuff too that has been neglected due to my urge to just lay on the couch and groan.

I would groan less if I tried to fit in my chiro which is about all my ob/gyn suggested for my trashed pelvis that is causing me so much grief.

I would groan less if a fairy came in and cleaned out my house.

Sigh…

Must go make lists…….

I WON THE POO WARS!

A Princess Aurora Doll and 3 new Disney Princess shirts were up for grabs……she HAD to POO in the toilet or no princess stuff.

She finally did and had the evidence yesterday. She was soooooo happy and proud and is now wearing her shirts with pride.

Phew.

Like weighing in every appointment.

Like handing over your pee in a cup.

Like asking the doc to look at the NEW giant ‘roid on  my ass and finding out that I have ‘popped’ a clot out and may need to have it ‘drained.’  Ick.  Ick. Ick.

Like having to shell out $60 for an orthopedic  belly band to support my great HUGE weight so I can walk without it feeling like my uterus is exploding out my ‘bah china.’

Like having painful bowel movements to the point of having to yell at my mom to drive faster so I could race into the house and the loo.

That was my day so far.  How was yours?

Ok….we have a smallish town house.    Doesn’t even have a basement.   Toys and books and ’stuff’ explode EVERYWHERE.  It is a daily battle to control the avalanche of stuff.

And now we have added MORE chaos.

In our living room sits my deceased  Mother in Law’s giant plasma tv.  My BIL has one already and we didn’t.  So it was decided that for safety and practicality that we should take it.  It feels rather big and the children are hypnotized by the new god.

Her ancient cat has also taken up residence here.  In our bedroom to be exact.  So in the room that I was planning on clearing OUT of stuff to fit the BABY stuff, we now have  cat food and kitty litter and a really loud old Siamese cat taking up space.

I do hope that the cat does ok.  She is a lovely thing.  And according to the Vet, apart from being blind, is in great shape.  We just want her to be happy.  Callie and our cats have been ok with the whole thing.  The cats are NOT territorial at all.

So now I must continue my battle of controlling the clutter.  And figuring out where to put things.  We need a bigger house.    I crave space and storage and a kitchen that I can actually function in.    A dishwasher would be nice too.

I know we will get there eventually.   Crunchy Husband works his butt of worrying and earning as much dollars as he can from his writing.   And he puts up with me spending it in my mind as quickly as he earns it!

So today I am working on getting motivated and decluttering today as much as I can.   I suppose I should get all the kids out today too…it is nice and sunny.

Oh and for those following the saga.  Caity CLAIMED to have pooped in the toilet all by herself late last night.  However, evidence was lacking apart from the copious amount of toilet paper stuffed in the loo.    I told her to let me know next time so we can check out this wondrous event together.

Goes to the ‘Pricness’.

Waited till I was er…pooping and went and squeezed out one into her Disney Princess Underpants.

She asked today if I was going to buy diapers.

I don’t give up that easily missy.

- Crunchy Husband is now ‘Guitar Hero’  - He is now (in his own mind at least) a Legend of Rock.

Snorfl.

Thank you Canadian Stupid Store for pricing it so cheaply.    He is now a happy and rockin dude.

There are no pull ups in the house.

I refuse to buy more.

Caity will not poop in the toilet.

How long will she hold out or will she sacrifice her princess underpants to the poo gods.

“MOOOOM!!! Gavin stood on my banana bread!”

This goes on all day around here.

“Moooooom!  Carter said I am mean!!!”

me:  “Why did he say your were mean?”

“Cos I kicked him and knocked his tower down.  Can you tell him about bad names not being nice!”

Sigh…