So Crunchy Husband and his pal, have been working diligently on their creation.   The final touches will be done this afternoon.

Creativity has been exploding…on a budget

This  character is already upsetting the wee kids.

I have to carve MORE pumpkins.

This morning was a chaos of costumes for my kids and the daycare kids…..AND the treats they all had to bring to their various parties.  I think we got it all sorted out.

The kids got a preview of Halloween by attending a small party on the weekend for the wee one’s.  It was a plethora of princesses.   Curse you Walt Disney!!!

But they sure had a good time.

On Monday, after a day of the lads working on their creation outside, we decided to check out how people with REAL money do it.  There is a guy in a wealthy part of town called Southlands  who spends THOUSANDS on his display…it surrounds and covers his entire HUGE house.  It was amazing.  It was also filled with costumed ghouls and goblins and the kids were terrified.  Caity couldn’t even go in so we headed back to the car.  This was a good thing because I managed to spot the owner of the handbag I had found on the road in the dark when we arrived.  A little old lady totally freaking out.  She had apparently not closed her car door and when she took a corner the bag rolled out.

Adam tried to be brave and ventured as far into the display as he could before it became too much.

Last night I managed to escape to enjoy some ‘grown up’ time with some lady friends.  Though most were moms so we just talked about our kids instead…and I watched them all drink.  Sigh.   But it was a well deserved and needed little break.  Even though I was up too late.

Crunchy Husband is feeling sick tired and overwhelmed with it all.   Too much going on.  Too much stress.  I do hope he manages to enjoy today.

Sooooooo Halloween today will be nuts, but I hope to take loads of photos and video and will post when I get a chance.

Have fun all!

We have always tried to make Friday evenings a family time….time to relax, eat treats or eat out and be together.

Friday’s are feeling even more special these days as that is our first daycare kid free day after four loooooong days.   Adam is always thrilled to finally have me to himself again.

This Friday worked out really well.

Crunchy Husband was scheduled to spend the day at a film set so we arranged to get him to the skytrain early.   I had volunteered to take the two preschoolers to school and my daycare mom was taking Adam and her oldest to kindergarten where it was a special pumpkin patch day.

After all the dropping off, I had 3 hours all to myself.  A quiet house and time to relax.    Heaven.

Adam came home at 12:30, lugging an enormous pumpkin and sparkling eyes.    He had apparently gotten stuck in the mud and had had to be rescued by the teacher…the boots came after.  This was all enormous fun.

He was too excited for lunch and instead wanted me to review the Transformer troops.  So that is what we did till it was time to pick up Caity from preschool.

With my troops gathered, I asked if we could hit the mall as I really needed some new maternity pants.  The kids agreed and I promised that if they were good we would hit the dvd store after.

So $200 bucks later, mom leave the store happy….kids were angels…gasp!

Of to blockbuster where we picked up Meet the Robinsons and a Wiggles dvd and a load of candy, and after giving the dog a brief run we settled down for videos.

This kept us all snuggled till CH called for a ride home and then we were all pretty much ready for bed.  Where I ended up in Adams single bed again WITH Adam, Caity and the dog.  I think one of the cats was around too.

It was a really nice day.

It was peaceful and loving and cozy.

Today will be a bit crazy..the kids have a little Halloween party to attend after lunch.  But it will still be fun.

I like feeling at peace and knowing I have something decent to wear!!!!

Ah Messala, I have quoted you many times.  And yes……the race goes on.  Life trundles on.  

We have it no where near as bad as some these days.  And I haven’t even done a wack of blog surfing lately, so I have yet to catch up on the lives of my fellow bloggers.

Time is the big thing these days. We just don’t seem to have enough of it.   I never have enough time to blog.  Nothing good anyway.  I am behind in all the causes and issues.  Strollerderby pointed out this issue for the American moms out there.  I experienced pretty bleak, but short lived PPD with my first born.  It felt like I was standing on the edge of a dark and deep pit….teetering there.  I pulled back.  I feel for those who have had a more difficult journey.  I did not have the same experience with my second child, however, this pregnancy has flung moments of deep and scary depression in my face.  So much so that I went straight to my OB/GYN and she instantly referred me to a therapist who specializes in pregnancy and depression.   I am enjoying my sessions with her and wow, Celexa is my new best friend.    I am truly grateful  for my doctors and the care I have available.

Our family has been embittered by the Canadian medical system in our experiences with the inlaw’s horrendous illnesses and deaths…but I have been looked after well.

At least this little creature is safe.

Sorry…still can’t get CH’s scanner working just now.  That time thing again.

The daycare kids eat into my time and energy.  CH is swamped with work and dealing with estate stuff.  He has also been trying to decorate for Halloween inbetween the deluges of rain that have been hitting us.

The real scary stuff won’t be up till Halloween, but he has made some lovely wreathes of Halloween coloured lights for the outside of the house.

Caity and CH had a lovely morning at the pumpkin patch.  Adam’s class is going there on Friday.  CH is apparently going to be locked in a film studio all Friday afternoon and night for a press tour/junket.    Saturday, a friend is doing a little Halloween party for the kids.  This means getting their costumes together.  I am also trying to figure out how I can get from Richmond to Langley for a dinner with my Today’s Parent’s mommy friends in time.

Next week I have to prepare ‘treat’s’ for Adam’s Kindergarten class as they want to do a little party for the kids.

Somewhere….somehow, I need to find time to catch up with friends….in real life.  I also need to start digging out things like maternity wear and sorting the baby stuff.  We also need time to work on my MIL’s house and property and see CH’s grandmother too.   I would also like to do some ‘real’ writing for my blogs.   Hmmm

At least these two are happy.

I have to confess…I am really not liking doing daycare for my neighbours kids.

Even with feeling better now into my 2nd trimester.   I just don’t have the interest.

My focus has turned inward.  To me. To the baby. To my family.

It is not like they are difficult children.   It is not like I get lots of help in return.  She takes Adam to school most mornings.  She also lets my kids come over when she comes home to continue to play with her kids.  So I get a good thing out of it.

It is also only four days a week.

But I am exhausted by the end of those days.  I am exhausted by the noise and the endless bickering and the mess and the whole ra ra needed to keep everyone happy for one effing afternoon.

I am not one for planning arts and crafts…can’t really….the only space for art is the table.  It is right beside where CH is trying to work.  The noise level is intolerable for him.  Lunch is bad enough.   He is also very busy.

I am not getting any of my own stuff done.

Basic housekeeping sucks and I have so many other projects that need my focus….and they are not.

The parent/neighbour is already a bit cheesed at me because I have expressed concern about the transporting of her youngest to preschool two days a week….it just means more upheaval in day and disrupting 3 other kids for a two hour session of what?  Socializing???  Isn’t he doing that already?   It doesn’t even coincide with when my daughter goes to school.

I am also about to ask her to plan on alternate care when the baby is born.  I don’t want my mom or crunchy husband to be worrying about someone else’s kids when they should be focused on our kids and the new arrival.

Perhaps this will cheese her off enough to go find someone else.  Though where she would find a cheaper deal, I don’t know.

Kindergarten has been a drag enough.  While I am delighted that Adam seems to be enjoying it….CH and I are totally out of practice with the whole ‘five days a week routine’ thing.

I haven’t had a full time job since before Adam was born.   CH has worked at home and for himself for almost 8 years now.     I HATE waking everyone up in the wet dark gloom of winter.

And if it was just MY kids to deal with, I could take the car from time to time.  As it is….there is a lot of walking…which is good exercise… but I don’t want to HAVE to walk everyday…specially when the weather sucks.   I like to have the option.

I would like to be able to do my errands, and cleaning and family stuff.   I would like to not be a zombie with a trashed house by Friday.   It will be bed enough with three of my own kids I am sure.  But it will be my OWN mess.

I am, by nature, an insular person……and probably quite selfish and lazy I am sure.  I am not a kid person really.  I LOVE my kids.  I love doing stuff with MY kids….other kids…..not so much.

So I am a bad neighbour.     Bad stay at home mom.

Can we just move away?  In the night?

As I lay teetering on the edge of my bed last night, looking down upon the sprawled sleeping forms of my two kids and my husband hanging on to HIS edge of the bed, I had to chuckle.

I have to admit, I do enjoy the warmth of their crazy little bodies….the endless rotation as each battles for a ‘turn’ to snuggle mom….dad won’t do. The love makes the lack of sleep worth it. Sort of.

I asked my son - now five - if he was ever going to stop coming in the big bed. He said no. I figure fine. I will snuggle you no matter how grown up you are. That is great with me.

I wondered too, if this open bed policy affects their personalities. Does the assurance that they will always be welcome in the ‘big bed’ give them a big boost to their little egos? My children are BRIMMING with confidence. Overly perhaps. Crunchy Husband - a die hard reclusive nerd - was commenting about how Adam is almost jock like in his superiority to other kids. Especially to the boy we do after school care for. The arrogance is rather upsetting really…..I mean, confidence and assurance is great, but not at these extremes and not in a five year old.

He is smart. He does know a lot of stuff. Physically he IS superior to this other kid. The poor kid had his collar bone broken at birth!

His kindergarten teacher is constantly bemused by him. She has never met any child like him, she told us.

Caity is not much better. She is loud and happy and very opinionated. She will not back down in an argument.

Both are also loving and kind and empathic too.

Adam was in awe today. He got to see his new baby brother other sister at the ultrasound clinic. He was thrilled.

This new one is an active thing. Much wiggling. Arms waving. Mouth opening and closing. Not a quiet one. Again.

The question is……will there be enough room in the Big Bed for number three?

Guys….it IS a king size…but we are big people with freakishly tall children!!!!

This…

The pic isn’t that clear…I wish the scanner was working….but your dirty minds no doubt think the same thing I did about this ‘Giraffe!’

This

What a trip to Zellers does to the fashion choices of my kids.  HE is wearing his new ninja pj’s all day today.  SHE is a ballerina.  My kids are so commercially brainwashed.

This

The ballerina’s rash…Fifth Disease we think.  Benign to her.  Could be HELL for my unborn child.  I am just slightly freaked out.

Just so’s you know…I am visiting.  I would like to comment..but when I try the comment box is showing up teeny tiny and won’t let me widen it and so I can’t post comments.

It is cheesing me off.

And a glorious one here too.

Must drag dog and kids out to enjoy the sunshine.

But first… I must blog….in peace….with only two kids in the house.  One watching Dora and the other doing ‘art.’

I am a bit spaced out today….loong week and Caity and I ended up watching ‘The Blob’ (the newer one) at 3:30 am, since neither of us could sleep.    She seems to now have ‘Fifth Disease’ and Adam had it about two weeks ago.  It is VERY dangerous for me to get it for this incubating child.  Fingers crossed folks.

Anyway, I couldn’t sleep because I realized that passport or no - despite me filling out CH’s for him - we were not going to get to Disneyland next month and it was making me sad and anxious all at the same time.  The futility of it all anyway.   Oh well.  I can’t  make things happen my way all the time right.

So there we were.  The blob is a boy by the way.  Despite being pink.

This morning after getting the kids away to their various schools, I crawled back into bed and tried to nap.  The phone rang 3 times.  Grrrr.

Instead, I was sort of just letting my thoughts zing around and they went back to a flight back from LA or San Diego years ago.   CH and I used to go down for either Comic conventions or ‘Hollywood’ related stuff for his work.  We also have friends down there.  Anyway, we flew a fair bit.

This flight was amazing.  There was not one cloud in the sky for the whole trip between LA and Vancouver.  The flight also followed an amazing route that allowed us to view El Capitan in Yosemite, Mount Hood, Mount St. Helen’s, Mount Rainier and Mount Baker.  It was awe inspiring.

I am a bit of a geology nut and having the captain point out all the sites had my face glued to the window for the whole trip.

I don’t know if there is any point to this trip down memory lane.   Perhaps, on this beautiful fall day, it is a lesson about looking all around.   Opening up our eyes to the whole wide world around us.    Trying for some perspective when dealing with the minutiae of the daily grind.  You get the idea.

We all get in such bothers about things.   We see it all over the net.  People get riled up about things people say on their blogs, or on forums, etc.  It ripples around and everyone is discussing and debating.  And being the argumentative type, I tend to enjoy that sort of thing.  A blood sport of a the bloodless type.

I mentioned before, that despite all the issues raging around the blogosphere…causes and all that…I just haven’t had the energy or heart to care.  A part of me just doesn’t want to get all riled up about things in cyberspace.   Maybe because I have enough on my own plate.   Maybe I am just to focused on the home front.  Maybe I am just too tired.

Perhaps the old me full of controversy and arguments will show up at a later date…but right now I am saving that for home!   Hee.

That or I just need more coffee.

but this is how they make me feel sometimes!

Help!

Between Adam crawling into my bed at night and Caity becoming the ‘cling-on’ princess during the day….I am feeling a bit cramped!   I can’t sit down without a child finding my lap.

And while I LOVE that my kids LOVE me so much…..seriously.

Today is the first day I woke up without a headache.  And it is 1:15 now and I am still doing ok.   This is the first headache free day in about 7 days.  I am not kidding.

I am cooking a turkey today for Canadian Thanksgiving…..though I don’t know who is going to eat it.  Me and my mom I guess.  I told CH to go and get his gran from the home, but he hasn’t sounded to excited about that.  And yes, she ain’t fun, but I felt it would be nice for her to see the kids and so on.  Family duty and all that.

Did I say this was the first day in a long time that I felt good?

My family are working hard to make sure that changes…between grouchy husbands and squabbling kids……oh the joys.

Oh did I say too that my house is covered in Halloween gear? CH brought back all the stuff we had in storage so we could figure out our decorating plan for this year.

Halloween is a big deal in this house.  CH and his buddy go to a lot of effort…it is quite fun.

Well, I better go check the bird.  I think it is ready…..I hope it is ready.

Happy Thanksgiving fellow Canadians.

I have not been ’sharing’ much here lately.

Haven’t had the heart.

Nor have I have I jumped on any of the big causes or issues that seem to explode around the mommy blogs either.

I haven’t even been paying attention to the BlogHer’s Act Canada stuff at all…that I feel a tidge guilty about.

There have been calls to arms over the big ‘breastfeeding in public.’   I was supposed to boycott Facebook and boo Bill Maher.    I didn’t.   Unless not having the energy to ‘poke’ people or post cute things on people’s funwalls  is sufficient.

I told my husband about the issue.   He doesn’t get it at all.  Figures if you don’t like the look of someone breastfeeding - don’t look.   Too right.

Crunchy Husband is sick.  He has been working a lot lately and that always catches up on you.   We managed to drag our sad little selves out for a nice grown up dinner on Saturday night.  To “CELEBRATE” our anniversary.   But it was just a welcome moment to take a deep  breath and enjoy some good food.   Then it was home to the usual.

I also enjoyed my mommy time at the hair salon on Friday.  Two hours kid free.

Apart from that I have been feeling physically and mentally run down.   My body is either feeling sick or aching or stopping me from sleeping.

My mind is a  hormonal mess.  My depression has been running full throttle.   I HATE not being in control of my faculties.   I HATE having a ‘weakness.’   I HATE sucking at parenting.

I hate needing help.

Anyway.  I have gone and gotten help.  I am under the wing of a doctor looking after the mental health of depressed pregnant women.    I HOPE she is right and this can be all turned around.  She has also recommended trying Celexa…so we shall see how that does.

CH has been stepping in as much as possible, but that makes me feel awful because he has enough on his plate.

My mom has been helping me almost every morning too…despite me snarling at her.  I know she is trying to help when she points out WHERE Adam’s problems stem from, but believe me, I already know and am already dealing with that guilt.

I also know my house is a mess.  I am sorry, it is just not a priority for me at the moment.

Is running away not an option?

Talk about feeling totally overwhelmed.

I really do want our family to go on a mini holiday.   I just want to be with my husband and my kids with NOTHING to do with school, daycare, work, extended family around us.    Just us.  Just us having fun.  Just us four connecting with no outside influences.
I have to talk seriously to CH about this.

So the good things…..this week my body has stopped aching so much and I wasn’t feeling QUITE so sick in the mornings.

I even managed to take the kids with my mom to the posh ‘Southlands Country Fair’ on Sunday.  Southlands is this little enclave on the west side of Vancouver for the rich and horsey.  Filled with huge homes and stables.    It was a horrid wet and muddy day, but the kids loved feeding the horses and getting a pony ride.

A dear high school friend reconnected with me through facebook.  It was wonderful to hear from her again.  I had missed her a lot.

Our little dinner out.

Little things.

So not much in posting..but I have  been trying to read everyone’s blogs still.  I am still around.