9 Years ago yesterday. Yep.

We HOPE to celebrate on the weekend. I was just enjoying a day in which I didn’t spend the WHOLE day feeling crummy and didn’t yell at my kids. Yay me.

Crunchy Husband had had a good work related couple of days…ego boosting stuff…that was HIS gift.

Oh and renting Halo 3.

So for our anniversary it was just nice to have a hassle free day.

Romance seems a bit passe when you are in the depths of depression and or exhaustion.

I think it does show though that the glue that holds us together is pretty tough and can ride the rough stuff with love respect and understanding that the makes the small things special.

Crunchy Husband has been fantastic lately.

He has had so much on his plate and is still trying to talk me down from hormone hell.

The poster above was put together by my mom and my uncle. It was considered quite appropriate by many because it seemed that many people did not think we would make it as a married couple. We had always fought a lot and there had been drama throughout our relationship…but we hung on. And yes, the first year of our marriage was hell. Neither of us had lived out of the home before. THAT was an adjustment. We were also dealing with my mother in law, whom had come pretty close to ruining the wedding and so it was a rocky start.

But we did it.

And we are still here.

And we are still happy. Despite all the bumps along the road. And yes we still fight. But we love each other very much. And more important, we LIKE each other. We are friends. We take care of one another. We have fun together. Still.

Crunchy Husband always reminds me to laugh at myself.

And what would we do without THIS woman either!

My lovely mom who has supported us through the good and the bad.   Who has bitten her tongue on MANY occasions, and tirelessly supported and helped us along the way.

Thanks mom.

And thanks for all the help lately while I languished around feeling sick and dizzy.   And thanks for STILL offering to babysit Saturday night.

Oh and despite all..it was a fantastic wedding if I do say so myself.

Ok..I love my kid being out of the house 5 days a week.

I hate that we already had a lice notice. One kid in their class was merrily scratching away. Ick.

I have also noticed that there is not one mom (or dad for that matter) that has the remotest potential for being a fun friend. None. Nadda.

There is one cool dad there…if cool is a dad in flip flops who names his daughter Jules or Jewells or whatever…..mmmmmm no.

At least I get along with my neighbour and daycare parent. She is fun.

I don’t like all the new things I am supposed to keep track of…the notes, reading, etc, healthy snacks and all that grown up stuff.

I have also been sick….on top of this ‘worst pregnancy EVER’ deal…..flu like symptoms and no energy whatsoever.  I have had to call in for back up in the mornings to get the troops organized.

Two more hours of the daycare kids and then I can get SOME peace.  Though we have to get supplies in.  Grrrrr.

Friday was the worst.  I could NOT get out of bed.  What a drag.

Wednesday is our nine year Wedding Anniversary.  I am hoping that by the weekend I will actually feel like celebrating.   Poor Crunchy Husband has had a very boring wife these days.

So I really don’t have much fun to blog.  I mean how boring.  Me complaining about being pregnant.  Me complaining about feeling sick.  Me complaining about being depressed.

Though I am working on that last part.  The doc has prescribed me with Celexa and I am supposed to join a study of depressed mommy’s too.  I have an appointment next week.

I am also looking forward to getting my hair done on Friday.  Maybe hiding the gray will perk me up.

Crunchy Husband DID buy me some gorgeous jewelery for me.  That was really sweet.

Anyway……

Ho hum

I feel really really bad about this.

Back in July I received an email from this really nice lady representing Hasbro Toys. She had asked if I wanted to check out and review a kids interactive website and a new online game system for them. Being that was really should have stock in Hasbro with all the toys we have in this house, I said yes.

Then all hell broke loose in our personal life and decent thought out posts went out the window.

The product arrived and the box languished in a corner. I feel really bad about it.

So. The dust started to settle and Adam was needling me to open it. So I did. And so I can finally give you a little review here. Finally.

She had firstly asked me to check out the Monkeybar TV site. This site if chock full of games and videos related to the products that they sell. My son fainted when he saw all the Transformers stuff and my daughter flipped at the plethora of My Little Pony things there. However, the site is geared for kids a little older than my two and so the games were a bit difficult for them.

If you are okay with entertainment built around children’s merchandise then this site will be okay for you and your kids. If you don’t approve of entertainment designed to sell product, then don’t visit the site.

The mystery product that arrived in the cardboard box was called ‘Net Jet.’

We were a bit confused by the name.  Adam was expecting some sort of ‘plane.’    After (seriously) 30 minutes of trying to pry open the package that contained the hand held control without slicing open my fingers, we finally ripped it free.    This really put me off.  The packaging is ridiculous.

It is all very simple to figure out.   The control system plugs into the USB on your computer.  The games are contained on little ‘key’s that you slot into the controller.

The controller comes with a bunch of demo games and we also had Marble Blast and Paintball.  These games are geared for 6 and up, but Adam has no problem figuring them out.

I was mostly frustrated in the load time (slooooooooow) and the vagueness of some of the online instructions to just get a game started.

I am not game ’savvy’ and so unless things are spelled out really simply (like the Wii), I get a tad frustrated.

So…..is it worth it?  Yes.   If your kids like games and you don’t own a Playstation or Nintendo type thing.  It is very affordable.  The controller is around $24.99 and the games are about $14.99 each.

If your kids knew other kids who used the system, then I am sure they would have fun sharing the games around.

My son managed to hog my computer for quite a while playing the paintball game and even Crunch Husband got hooked enough to work through the levels.  Even Caity at three really enjoyed the Marble Blast game - just rolling the balls around. And the controller is not complicated and similar to most console game controllers.

The graphics are pretty good.  Comparable to most games systems out there.

My kids will play again…when I don’t mind them hogging my computer!!

Again, a good system for a household not keen on shelling out for the pricier game systems out there.

Thanks Hasbro lady…..I am soooo sorry it took this long for this sad little review!

Only his first full week of kindergarten and the monotony has already set in.

I am already bamboozled by the plethora of notes home about this day and that day, reading lists and when to bring money and for what.

Just more things for me to wrap my fuzzy head around.

And the pressure.  15 Minutes of reading EVERY DAY!  I mean, we read a lot…but the expectation is now there.  Eeesh.

My belly has exploded too.   I will try to get a pick…the whale grows.

It is just Caity and me this am.  I have been trying to convince her to poo on the toilet.  She won’t   She is back in a diaper and pooping in private in her room.  Cleaning is the next order.  Ick.

A squirrel ate my garden hose so I can’t attempt to rescue the half dead turf out the back.  Sigh.

We grounded Adam from outside play with his buddies this week.  It was our feeble attempt to TRY to get it into his brain about his behavior and repercussions.  The poor kids keeps telling me he wants me happy..I keep telling him that I can’t be happy if my lovely boy is saying rude words, being mean and talking back all the time.  I just asked him to TRY to be a happy NICE kid and then we would ALL be happy.

Despite that I really want to convince Crunchy Husband that we all need a trip to Disney Land this fall.  A reward for the hell that was our summer.    He just actually needs to  stop working and having a nervous breakdown for a moment to fill out HIS passport forms.  Poor guy.   He needs a break.  He needs one good thing.   It kills me that I can’t really help other than the supportive bit and keeping things going on the homefront.

Ah life.

Well, I should go and wash the walls…the grimy hand prints  have become ridiculous.

Can’t we just move?

Apparently Adam was wide awake and listening at the door whilst Crunchy Husband and I attempted some …em….”one on one” time.

We did not hear him because the dog was very loudly hurling herself against our door at the same time.  This is why I said ‘attempted.’   Sex in this house  needs a lot of factors to be in place.  Like every other living creature to be asleep.

He said we sounded like we were dying.

Ok so therapy for him AND me.

Adam - “Mom, Mom! I had a totally scary dream last night!”

Me (7am) - “Mrphh???

Adam - ” Callie was bad and she was chasing me and I was really scared and so I ran and yelled ‘CHANGE THE CHANNEL’ at her to make her stop!!!”

Me - “Did this work?”

Adam - “No but she slowed down”

Change the channel.

I haven’t posted much about my continuing pregnancy.  I am about 12.5 weeks along.

Truth is, apart from dealing with the emotional and physical symptoms AND that one bleed scare, this peanut has not had much attention from us.  There has just been too much going on.  Life is too full of worry, stress, pain…..I have barely had time to even register that I AM pregnant.

Except for the regret.  I lay there at night feeling awful from creating this little life right in the middle of this hurricane shit storm that was our summer.

The kids are emotional wrecks…..so fine tuned they are to our stresses.   Crunchy Husband holds it together…but barely.   He is trying so hard.   I feel like wrapping cotton batting around him…..shield him from all the pain.   I am a snarling monster.  I can’t handle the kids needs, CH’s, Mine…everyone’s all at once.   I don’t feel like I have control over it all.   I ride it…..waiting for the next crisis…

My mom ….filled with worry for us, is also disapointed and mourning the summer that wasn’t.  She wanted fun trips and holidays with us.  We had none.  We didn’t entertain.  She wanted some one on one time with me for my birthday.  It still hasn’t happened and probably won’t as much as she keeps asking.  I am too needed.  Here.  At Home.

Kindergarten starts next week.  I am dreading it all.  I will have the two daycare kids for four days a week.  Four days….just dealing with kids stuff and without being emotionally ready to face it.    I would have like to have felt more prepared.  Had my life more organized for all this.  It ain’t gonna happen.

The only positive spin is that all the bustling about will keep me active and not eating.

But my boobs….they have their own agenda.  They hurt.  They feel like they are swelling and straining against my skin.  I don’t think they LOOK that huge..but they sure feel it.  I lay there in a half dream state the other night and imagined them sticking straight up and out….like a bra made for Madonna…standing at attention.

We will have to ask Crunchy Husband how they look.