Wednesday.  Riiiight.

Ok, I have to make pancakes for my kids, so posting may be thin for a bit, BUT…..go check out Crunchy Ramblings. I have filled my blogging quota over there in a long and drawn out ramble covering school closures, Al Gore and Video Games.

Go read!

Oh and I am working on a review of ‘Good Kids, Bad Habits’ too.  Keep an eye out for that.

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How tired are you crunchy!!!??

I am so tired that this morning when my mom called to say that the reason she was late was that she had just bought two tickets to The Police….I didn’t jump up and down….all I said was “cool.”

I am so tired that when my kids shrieked that they were hungry for the 500th time (I do feed them…really?), that I just chucked some oreos at them.

I am too tired to do any ‘real’ writing or call the super about the mold.
Or figure out our passport forms.

Sigh…..when is bed time?

Oh and I am tired because Caity kept waking all night long for NO REASON AT ALL!

But did see my friends new baby at the hospital this morning and held her.  Adam held her too. So sweet.

Technorati Tags: The Police, sleep

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She finally posted at Wee Cuppa Tea

And welcome Hannah to the world!
Our dear friends have a new baby sister for their little girl!

Just born today!
Haven’t met her yet……so excited and now feeling all broody and maternal!

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Young Jedi’s hone their light saber skills…..with no pants.

I was looking at my del.icio.us and that blue spot thingie and I have over 240 women and mommy bloggers bookmarked that I do try to frequent.

Sooooo if you are not on my links list and a) want to be, let me know because I probably do already read your site and am happy to share any linkage love out there! and b) if I get organized (hahahahahahahaha) I will try and rotate things around too, to keep it fresh and fun!

Aaaaaand I hope everyone likes this new version of CC.  I am quite happy with it.  I am feeling more comfortable and in control of my blogging and content.

If there is anything that bugs you though, please let me know!

always feels like a Sunday in the Real World.
It always feel extra quiet.

I honestly do not have anything terribly exciting to say.

Our preschool was shot at Wednesday night.  They shot out a window and shell casings were found.  Nice huh?

Adam enjoyed his experience at the Chiropractor.  She scanned his back to show the areas that need work. He thought that was cool.  I would be happy to find something that helps with the headaches/migraines he seems to experience.   Husband is dead against it.  Being that she has helped me and the better I feel the more I go….I will have to hope that he will trust me.

Today was a nice sunny day, so we were out side for a bit to run steam of the kids and dog all of which were acting like freaks.

I also managed to clean out the inside of the car and wipe down the mud.

Caity is now napping and I guess I should plan out the rest of our FAMILY FUN FRIDAY!

Are we having fun yet?

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While trailing behind the rest of the blogworld here, I did manage to finally receive the book and read - Babyproofing Your Marriage by Stacie Cockrell, Cathy O’Neill and Julia Stone.

Thank you BlogHer and thank you Harper Collins for including me in your Virtual Book Tour.

The book has received a lot of good buzz and the authors seem like very honest and real folks.

I have to admit, however, that I am not a fan of ’self help’ or ‘real life’ books. When I was first married and struggling with the whole shell shocked feel of married life, I picked up a few ‘recommended’ titles.

I couldn’t read them. I dislike the format these books tend to follow. I find it very hard to hang on and pay attention to what they are saying. I tend to zone out and skip through a lot. The total opposite of what the format is supposed to do.

This book follows the same typical format. It is filled with short, punchy paragraphs, bolding, cute pictures, and lots of quotes from ‘real people.” Everything is spelled out in short and easy to read ‘bites’ so you can pick it up and put it down without really losing the train of thought. It also uses humour to help soften the issues they are discussing. And that is great.

Each punchy paragraph outlines the various issues new parents face when dealing with each other and a baby. Parental roles, me time, sex and so on. Each paragraph and section and new chapter gives the feeling that they are building up to something really earth shattering. I keep reading with the feeling that they are going to finish with a HUGE REVELATION. But they don’t.

And that is not necessarily a bad thing. They are following the format of “that” type of book.

But does it really help?

I can’t really fault the book for much on the surface. The topic IS a big deal and DOES affect pretty much every single couple out there. And that is what is nice about the book. The authors are very open in sharing their own stories, faults and foilbles as well as honestly looking at the why’s behind these ‘quirks.’ I think it is a great relief for most women to find that they are not alone in their daily struggles.

The tone of the book and the honesty is a great lesson in itself. Relax. Laugh if you can. Things can fixed.

But. (insert music of doom here)

After discussing this with my husband, I realized that while we had and do experience many of the communication troubles discussed in the book, it still did not speak to me, nor did it speak to him.

The book tends to fall to certain ’stereotypes’ and I am sure that this was mainly due to their own lifestyles and the ‘common’ marriage/parental set up out there, and the need to reach a wide audience. This consists of: Full time working man married to either a Stay at Home Mom or a Working Mom, and owning a home that is most likely in the suburbs.

But my husband doesn’t play golf or watch sports or work out of the home Monday to Friday.

We don’t live in the ‘burbs and I am not an isolated SAHM or a Working mom. Nor do I have a group of mommy friends to fall back on for help or advice.

I suddenly realized why there is ‘zines like Babble and that I did actually relate more to that ‘hipster’ label than what was being portrayed in this book.

He does not ‘escape’ on weekends to play golf. He doesn’t sit down on a Sunday to watch Football. Maybe to play Xbox…but I didn’t see that really mentioned in the book.

This does not mean that we are one of those couples who communicate and work smoothly and effortlessly together in our marriage and parenting. Oh no, far from it. I will say again, I have and do experience MANY of the problems mentioned in the book, and agree somewhat with most of the solutions.

I just felt that I really couldn’t embrace the ideas or the cutesy humour or see myself in there.

But the gist of the book is fine and does work for all parents out there.

What is the message? Communication is Key. Men and Women ARE hardwired differently. Culture and society has a big role in that as well as just how our genders function and view the world. We are different.

We both have to realized that and respect that and work with it.

Resentment has no place in a good healthy marriage.

No matter what sort of lifestyle you lead.

My dear blogger buddy cronznet at Ripple Effect has a sad look at the state of marriage.  Check it out.
Technorati Tags: babyproofing your marriage, blogher, harper collins, babble, hip parents

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…Well really, what goes on there is anyone’s guess.

We got his “Progress Report” from his preschool yesterday and boy did they work hard on putting a positive spin on all his ‘traits.’

His teacher said that “Adam is a bundle of energy and you never know what kind of adventure you will be going on next.” That is for sure.

Last night we sat him down and asked again about the ‘pee’ in his room. He confessed to it being him that did the big deeds. He apparently peed on things about four times, then came running to tell us that there was ‘mysterious’ pee in his room.

When asked why he did it, the first thing he said was ‘I don’t know.’ Fine.

Then it was because he is not human and where he comes from it is perfectly ok to pee in one’s room.

Sigh.

All we can assume is that it is an attention thing mixed in with times when the bathroom light was off and he was too lazy/scared to turn it on. We also figure he liked the drama the mystery caused and that he was right in there with us.

Crunchy Husband was saddened by it all because he feels he works his tail off at giving Adam as much time and attention as we can and that we just can’t keep giving and giving. He feels we need balance and Adam’s need for constant attention is wearing us all down. This is true really.  As much as I adore my kids, I am big on my me time.  Yesterday was full on kids stuff all day except for one hour when my mom took them and then it was DOG time….I was done in by 9 pm.
I mean not many kids have a dad who can be so flexible with his work. Flexible enough for hug times and play times throughout the days of the week.

I think he just needs to be busier and I personally look forward to him starting Kindergarten and want to sign him up for more things to help ’streamline’ his creativity.

Or his energy will kill me.

I love my little man. He is great fun. Warm, affectionate and full of big ideas. He just doesn’t stop. Ever.

So let us hope that the pee problem is done.

We now have to go in and scrub his room from top to bottom.

ick.

When Caity was born, I was surprised to have a girl. With a family overloaded with boy cousins and second cousins, Adam was no surprise to me. A delight yes, but his gender no.

For the first two years of her life, gender really didn’t come into play. She was Caity and she was her own person and STRONG personality. Sure we enjoyed buying cutesy outfits and so on, but we didn’t go mad for pink.

Neither of us felt that we had to feel or act differently about having a little girl. Though I do think Crunchy Husband was a bit more ambivalent and unsure of his role with a daughter vs. a son. I did not love her more or less than our little man. Though our feelings were tested by her sleepless nights and her refusal to be set down anywhere out of our arms. Not to mention her screaming and temper.

However, now that she is creeping closer to age three, the inner girl and inner girlishness has started to creep in.

She is really really cute. She has lovely eyes and soft skin and the expression that range across her tiny face are hypnotic.

The screams are turning into squeals and she is learning about how to wrap her daddy around her little chubby fingers. She really knows how to turn on the charm.

We watch this in amazement.

Currently, the new fad is all things pretty and all things that make HER pretty.

This boggles us because again, we have never made a big deal about girly girl vs big boy stuff. We let them play with what they want and try to steer clear of stereotyping in our language with them. Our neutrality has never worked though. Adam was a car man from the moment he could pick those suckers up and stuff them in his mouth. He is mister Dinosaur too

Caity is now heavily into MY makeup and whatever jewelery she can find. She knew a diamond on sight after spotting all the People’s commercials over the Christmas season. She now spends her days festooned in plastic necklaces and bangles. NOW she lets us do her hair in bunches and won’t take em out. This from a girl who wouldn’t let me even BRUSH her weird and wacky hair for two years. Pretty works for her. It seems to be a powerful tool. I am not sure how I feel about that.

I get a strange feeling of deja vu when she plays with her baby dolls and my little ponies. Watching this innate maternal play brings back a lot of memories. She loves hauling out all my pots and pans and with the help of some cheerios, cooks us dinner. I did that too.

It is a strange feeling to think that with a daughter, I am not just a ‘mom,’ but I am also of the same gender and therefore we will share things in common with being a woman. I feel more of a pressure of needing her to like me as she grows older. It seems more of a worry with her. With Adam, we have a different bond or connection. It just is.

It is so strange. The feminist in me rages at my gushing over ‘girlish’ mannerisms and play, while the girl child in me is filled with love and giggles and the urge to buy every freaking Barbie in the Lower Mainland.

My husband is just as bad. I watch him fall head over heels in love with this little creature. He is entranced. The more girly she is the more of a sucker he becomes.

I feel so guilty for loving her pretty looks and girlish nature. I feel bad for the way it clutches at my heart strings.

This is NOT how we are supposed to be thinking about our modern girl power daughters is it?

Why is this happening? Why am I so engrossed in the femaleness of my daughter?

Which means coming up with lots of indoor activities to keep the monsters busy.

I guess I better dig out the play doh.

The weekend was actually ok.  Sunday being better than Saturday.  I was a total grouch on Saturday.  With no real reason.  Crunchy Husband managed to NOT work all weekend so we all hung out as a family for most if it.

Yesterday we all got up early and did breakfast at Milestones and that went fairly smoothly too with Caity staying mostly clean.

We then spent the afternoon outside playing  and running around!

The biggest mystery and annoyance here is someone or something is peeing or spraying in Adam’s room…and in one corner.  But not just on the floor, but on furniture too.   Because of this we sort of wrote of Callie since she squats to pee.  So is it one of the cats?  The sheer volume of liquid stumps us as well as the care to managed to just pee on a chair????

Last night it happened again and in a space of about 10 minutes.   

We need cameras.

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