Last night, weary after a long first week of 2016 I headed to bed with Tara in tow. Adam was/is at a sleepover and Caity decided to stay up and hang out with her dad. Tara wandered into bed with me as did the dogs. The ‘snuggle puppy’ position was assumed (on side, arm out so she can worm her way up against me) and the dogs spread themselves out.
This is a fairly common occurrence in our family. Dad usually then fights the dogs for space or gives up and either heads to the couch or like last night settled down in Caity’s room with her. I was awake and could hear them chit-chatting together as they settled for the night. It was the sound of bonding and love. I went to sleep feeling warm and fuzzy with my youngest held close.
She has probably had more ‘snuggle puppy’ time than any of the kids combined. For many reasons. From her birth – after the loss of Scott in 2007 – I have felt the need to cling a wee bit more. And she is the baby of the family. My last baby and at 6 she will soon grow too big and unwieldy to fit so easily into the ‘big bed.’ The other excuses have been that she shares a room with her much older sibling who might not want to go to bed as early, so in order to let everyone get their peace, it has been easier to bring Tara into our room early (I like to read) and let the big kids have their space and time for games, tv and so on.
The big and unwieldy is an issue with the other kids..not so much with our grown up 13 yea old, but Caity likes when we are all together, so many nights, the living room gets turned into bed central (except for smart dad who values a quiet empty bed), and I am surrounded on couches and floors by my children in their ‘nests.’
There are LOADS of articles out there about how these situations are bad for marriages and not good for the kids…that we all need our space and boundaries and so on. And yes, much of it is true and I am sure if we all stuck to firmer rules about who slept where, we would all get better rest, but the truth is also, that I LIKE going to sleep either snuggled with Tara or surrounded by all the kids. I love the chatter and the hugs and the warmth……I feel like I am wrapped in the energy my family gives out…..it feels like a gift.
Mostly. There are plenty of nights when I and hubs want to barricade the door and hide from the needy hordes, or I just want a moment to MYSELF and a book and I don’t want even the dogs or the cats to even LOOK at me….but in between….I like the snuggle puppies and the musical beds and the nest building.
It won’t be forever. They will pull away as they get older…..Adam is already there at 13……and soon enough it will be just us versus the dogs.
So…for now….I will embrace the snuggles and cuddles and enjoy every single fleeting moment. For me it is part of the blessing of being a parent. I love my kids. I love being a part of their world. I feel honoured and blessed and will take every moment of hugs and love that I can get.
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